HOW THE 10TH MAN CAN HELP WHEN NO ONE IS LISTENING

Have you ever been with a group of people, where everyone is talking about a subject that you don’t necessarily agree with but go along with their narrative, just to keep the peace?

If you answered yes, you are certainly not the only one. It is human nature to want to stay in harmony with our inner circle, family and friends, even if that means going against our beliefs.

The 10th Man Rule, which we will look at closer shortly, is a way of challenging our innate character of wanting to ‘keep the peace’ and, instead of sitting with what is easy or comfortable, it challenges us to look at things from another perspective.

So how can this help?

The fact that humans are pack animals, tending to travel through life in herds, following in the footsteps of the one in front, even when the herd are going in the opposite direction to the desired route, is a reason to apply the rule…

Following the pack may seem the safest option, it is after all when we step away from the herd that we become vulnerable to attack. Yet, if we simply follow along with the rest, in regards to rules, regulations and ideas, without question, are we living in alignment with our truth? And where will it lead us?

Question Everything

When we don’t question the official narrative and don’t think for ourselves, we are not really living, but simply existing. We are living by someone else’s opinion of how our reality should be and following rules that don’t always make sense or feel right.

Not only that, too many people are blindsided to the fact that those who make decisions for the rest of us, otherwise known as ‘the powers that be,’ might not have our best interests at heart. And decisions they make on our behalf, are not only infringing on our freedoms, but may actually be putting us in danger and taking away the experiences we were destined to have.

I completely understand why people follow rules without question. For one thing it is instinctual and, the sad truth is, those who query ‘the official narrative,’ or the accounts of the mainstream media, often get attacked, ridiculed or accused of spouting conspiracy theories.

It is often easier to stay quiet than to share an opposite opinion.

Then there is the fact that when we suggest, to certain people, a differing opinion to their own, we come up against their ego. A strong egoic mind doesn’t like to listen to another person’s opinion, if it crosses theirs, because the ego always knows best.

We also have to battle against many cases of cognitive dissonance. See below for an explanation…

The simple fact is too many people are choosing to ignore the hypocrisy not only of the mainstream media but also of those ruling the world. Generally, because it is either the safer or easiest option.

Yet, as you have probably found out yourself in life, the easy option rarely turns out to be the best choice in the long run.

The Wrong Solution

Take the situation that is currently happening in the world. It is becoming increasingly obvious, in regards to lockdowns, etc, that the solution, to preventing the spread of a virus, is causing more harm to the human race than the initial problem (suicides, unemployment, a huge decline in mental health, to name of a few examples…).

But how does anyone speak out, against the official narrative, when they are viciously attacked for holding a different opinion to the media or governments and the people who are trusting of them?

We are supposed to live in a democracy and have freewill, but it is amazing how many freedoms people happily give away if they believe they are keeping themselves, and their families, safe.

Several months ago, in a post, I advised against arguing with others or trying to get them to see your point of view, if they are not willing to listen. It just leads to frustration and anger, often from both parties. However, as things in this world are becoming darker, more freedoms are being taken away and lives endangered, not only by questionable jabs, but by many other factors, it might be time to try a different approach.

WHAT CAN YOU DO WHEN NO ONE IS LISTENING?

If you want to start a conversation, with friends or family, about the current state of the world and you don’t want to be put down or attacked for your views, why not try using the concept of the 10th Man Rule?

A good way to use this is by explaining that some groups/countries use the 10th Man concept as a way to keep people safe and stop them from following their intrinsic herd nature.

I came across a good explanation online:

The 10th Man discipline is one where the group intentionally appoints at least one person to serve as the loyal dissenter. “Loyal” because their underlying motive is to arrive at the best decision for the organization. And, as the dissenter, they not only have permission but a duty to disagree and ‘poke holes’ in assumptions being made by the group. This technique forces you to slow down and re-consider the wisdom of the decision and whether contingency planning or other risk mitigation might be worthwhile.

Read the full article here The 10th Man Rule (strive.com)

What we are seeing in the world today is a direct consequence of people following the herd, not asking questions, or using their own initiative. As well as people being too afraid to speak out against those who have differing opinions.

But by playing the part of the 10th Man, it could help those following the dictated narrative to see from another perspective…

It might also help people understand that it is not a bad thing to have our beliefs challenged, especially in regards to lockdowns, vaccinations and the current tyranny we are seeing in the world.

Thanks to Chanelle for inspiring this post (see our comments here)

Ok, I shall leave it at that for today.

Hope all is keeping well in your world.

Until next time,

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine

 

 

 

 

 

 

IS TRUMP A LIGHTWORKER?

Now, this may seem like a strange topic for a blog that discusses ways for Empaths to find balance. The reason the above question came about is because I happened upon a YouTube clip with the heading: Is Trump a Lightworker… For all the obvious reasons, it stopped me in my tracks. So, of course, I felt obliged to watch it…

Whilst watching the video, it got me thinking about a post I had started writing a few weeks ago but never got around to finishing, about NCPs, which I will come to shortly.

Normally, I would never cover such a topic, because if there’s one thing that creates absolute anger and division in the masses, it is talking about the current president of the United Sates. However, because there is a purpose to it, I thought I would take my chances and put myself in the firing line.

Anyone who follows my blog regularly may know I’m not a big fan of politics. It is not something that has ever interested me. I find the whole business frustratingly deceitful and I’ve always been of the mind that all politicians are as bad as each other, in that they lie to serve an agenda and make laws that keep people in servitude of a corrupt system. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t observe what is going on and I still have opinions.

When It First Happened

When the candidates for the last USA election were announced, my friends were discussing the subject. They asked me what I thought about Trump. At the time, I didn’t know he was running for president or who he was running against. I was shocked. He was a business man not a politician. But I remember thinking it sounded like a good idea. A super-successful business tycoon who ran a lucrative global empire seemed like a great option for a president.

I could not say I was surprised when Trump got in, change is always a good thing, but I was surprised by how much hatred it stirred up. After all, there is always a loser in an election. Why was this one so different?

Mass Hysteria

Whatever part of the world you live in, you cannot help but see the effect Trump has had on people. He has everyone divided. His presence is triggering some people, putting them into a meltdown, and for others he is the shining light of hope. There has got to be a reason. Right?

The Lightworker Part

Anyone who has walked a spiritual path or has an understanding of energy healing and such, will consider a lightworker as someone who works to raise the vibration of the world, to intentionally spread love and light and to help others. They want to make the world a better place for everyone and work hard to do it. They also help people to help themselves if even inadvertently.

However, there are also people who work as lightworkers but not necessarily in a nice way. In fact, these lightworkers can trigger us in the most unpleasant ways. They ‘press our buttons’ and seemingly make life difficult. These are who I would class as being the unlikely lightworkers or NCPs.

If you have never heard of the term before, here is an online description of an NPC:

Short for non-player character, an NPC or vendor is a character or monster who is controlled by the computer and not a real person. An NPC helps add life to a game by creating artificial players, each with their own abilities or personalities.

Although the term NCP originated within the gaming industry, it is frequently used to describe certain living people. NCPs are the people whose main purpose is to act as an antagonist; they play the ‘role’ of making one person’s ‘life-game’ more challenging. For others, however, these people cause no problems and have no triggering effects.

Dolores Cannon called NCPs the backdrop people. Those who trigger us in uncomfortable ways. We may not even know why we don’t like them; they just repel us or give us obstacles to overcome. They make us question ourselves, cause hurt and pain or just make life tough. But they also serve another purpose.

Ultimately, the role of an NCP, helps us become wiser, stronger, more understanding and more determined to succeed. Even if that determination was not to turn out like them.

I have been aware of NPCs for some time, but it is only recently that I am acknowledging the parts they play in our evolvement.

NCPs are here more for our growth rather than for their own. They help us evolve and achieve what it is we came here to do. They often bring out our ‘shadow side’, which we then have to face.

It is interesting that Trump acts as an NCP for some, and yet for others he is seen as a beacon of light. People all over the earth paint him as either the saint or the sinner. Millions of people will argue about all the evil acts he has orchestrated, and then there are millions who will argue about all the good he does, believing he is part of the solution to building a brighter new world.

So, whatever your opinion on Trump and whether he is a lightworker or not, his presence is certainly triggering people in profoundly mysterious ways. This clearly has a higher purpose which is certainly worth pondering on.

I urge you to watch the video for yourself. See what you think.

Until next time,

Diane.

Please help support me and my work

PLEASE HELP SUPPORT ME AND MY WORK

©Diane Kathrine

 

 

Are you a Narcissist Target?

One thing all Empaths will have endured at some point on their journey is a person who behaves in a narcissistic way. For some, however, it is part of their everyday life.

When I use the term narcissist target, in the headline, I am referring to anyone who has been on the receiving end of a narcissist’s attention. This can be via their initial charm through to their lies and manipulation.

But the question has to be, why do Empaths so often end up in the firing line?

One explanation is because of the ‘light’ an Empath carries inside. It’s a light that might be considered, by certain individuals, as a weakness or something that can be controlled. Yet that isn’t the only reason. Before we come to that, we will take a quick peek at the traits of a narcissist.

Traits of a Narcissist

Some of the better-known traits are: high self-esteem, a distinct lack of empathy, excessive self-admiration and a tendency towards selfish or resentful behaviours. But there’s more…

One-sidedness, a manipulative nature, unrealistic expectations of others, an excess need for control, and a huge sympathy deficiency can also fall under the same umbrella. It is these traits that often cause problems for the Empaths.

Why Empaths Attract Narcissists

Over the years, I have discussed the subject of why narcissists attract Empaths and vice versa in other posts and books (here, here, and here). It is my belief that although at opposite ends of the spectrum, both Empaths and narcissists are sensitive people and highly reactive.

Like attracts like. Sensitive attracts sensitive. Yet, one of the biggest reasons why Empaths are so often targeted and end up in the firing line of those with a narcissistic personality is because of their keen observational skills.

The Reflecting Empath

An Empath doesn’t just listen to a person’s dialogue, they observe tone and usage of words, they notice body movements, facial expressions, and they see things that others try to mask. This causes an issue for those who do not want to be ‘seen.’ Particularly when they are hiding something.

A narcissist never wants to be wrong, never wants to be seen as the ‘bad guy’ and wants others to think highly of them. But an Empath often acts like a mirror. Even if they don’t point out the narcissist’s concealed traits verbally, they will be reflected back. (This is discussed more in the Mirror of the Empath.) An Empath reflects truth. They will see it hidden behind any façade, no matter how tightly knitted.

If the finely polished veneer of a narcissist is threatened in any way, especially with exposure, they will attack. They often concoct outlandish stories to discredit an Empath, or anyone who reveals their truth, and blame them for the actions that they carried out themselves. They target those considered a threat.

Generally, a narcissist will not face the truth of who they are, if it makes them appear wrong or in any way a bad person. They convince themselves that it is everyone else who is at fault.

Being Repelled

Even if you have a strong repulsion towards narcissists, and avoid them like the plague, you can still be on the receiving end of their wrath, or end up as a target. Narcissists like to be praised and feel special. They want respect and if they are not shown it, they tend to lash out. If you have bruised a narcissist’s ego, by not giving them the respect they think is deserved, then expect to face a backlash.

The Good News

The good news is that narcissists can work as a catalyst on an Empath’s journey. Although it will not feel like it at the time, but anything that ignites insecurities, emotional injuries, victim mentality or personal challenges, can also push an Empath towards transformation. The darkness reveals the inner light. It encourages us to work on ourselves, which in turn takes us to a higher vantage point.

It is often the case that the more challenges an Empath faces the wiser they become and the greater their understanding of life.

I am certainly not suggesting that constant suffering is the perfect formula for enlightenment, but we come to a point when we understand why we have endured such difficulties. We can then see how they shaped us into becoming better people.

Avoiding Excessive Emotional Reactions

Life really is an obstacle course. It gives rise to many uncomfortable and painful experiences. However, if we have an emotional reaction to everything a narcissist, or anyone else, says or does then we put ourselves on a fast-tracked path to self-destruction.

We have to train ourself out of excessive emotional reactions, avoid wallowing in our own misery and not be tempted into revenge. Not that revenge is ever on an Empath’s radar, but it is very easy to think, ‘I’ll show them.’ Or to have the belief that if I say or do nothing, they are getting away with it. This will just lead to more lies and more attacks. We must not forget there is a greater force than ourselves at work that creates balance… Karma.

KARMA

Having been observing the world for many years, I have seen the law of attraction and karma work over and over. People may seem to get away with treating others atrociously, then, suddenly, karma catches up.

Everything goes around. Karma keeps each of us responsible for our behaviour.

Dealing with the Problem

So, finally, the question is, what can we do about being a narcissist target? Well, one thing is for sure, we will not change the mind of a narcissist, or those who have an over-inflated ego, if it makes them to appear wrong. If they have decided it is us who is at fault, it is unlikely we will get them to admit otherwise. We can only change ourself and our reactions. Take back our power.

The best way to react is with no reaction and don’t be drawn into conflicts designed to pull you down or make you feel bad. Now, when I say react with no reaction, I am not saying lie down and let someone trample all over you. Simply walk away. Avoid feeding your fear or pain by getting upset at the lies they may spread.

When you continuously focus on something or someone your attention feeds the energy. Remember: where your focus goes your energy flows.

Life really is too short to waste your precious time on those who steal your joy and drain your energy.

When you walk away or show no interest in their lies, they move on. The more lives they touch, with manipulative ways, the sooner their truth is revealed.

By avoiding excessive emotional reactions, it also helps keep one’s vibration raised. Yes, I know, easier said than done. But by getting in control of the mind and working to stay grounded, it helps us better control our emotional reactions. (This is where mind-stilling though breathing techniques, meditation and yoga can come in handy.)

Stay in gratitude and it will keep you in a ‘higher space.’ Keep pushing forward! Stay in your light and don’t let anyone extinguish it!

Next time we delve a little deeper into the increase in Empath emotional reactions.

Until next time.

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine

Please help support me and my work

PLEASE HELP SUPPORT ME AND MY WORK

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo by Vera Arsic on <a href=”https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-and-woman-wearing-brown-leather-jackets-984950/&#8221; rel=”nofollow”>Pexels.com</a>

Can An Empath Really Feel Other People’s Emotions?

The answer to the above question is yes. An Empath really can feel the emotions of others.

The problem is we don’t always know how it makes us react.

What I mean by this is, the emotional energy of those we come into contact with can have a huge impact; not only on how we feel but on how we behave. It can push us towards being more introverted than what is natural, it can trigger insecurities or even make us feel unwell.

How Does an Empath Know How to Interpret Emotional Energy?

Interpreting emotional energy is a tricky area. We can so easily misconstrue what we feel. I know I certainly have with different people over the years.

In my teen years I had a friend who, for the purpose of this post, I will call Sarah. I met Sarah at high school. She came from a broken home. But nothing in her outward persona gave off insecurities about her parents’ divorce. She was a bright vivacious girl. Sarah was popular, good at sport and academically minded. And although she did not seem affected by the breakdown of her parents’ marriage, the way she felt to me told another story (I just didn’t know it at the time).

I didn’t know Sarah when her parents split, so I cannot attest to how she was prior to the breakup. But, whenever I was with her, I felt insecure and unstable. At the time I assumed it was ‘just me’ and my own teenage insecurities that made me feel awful when in her presence.

I continued to hang out with Sarah, along with my other friends, after school and into my late teens. But I never enjoyed spending time alone with her. In fact, she used to comment on how quiet I was when it was just the two of us. But I couldn’t help it, I felt myself freeze up when with her.

In her late teens, Sarah ended up getting into the ‘rave/drug scene,’ which was so popular in the late eighties and early nighties here in Manchester. From there she very quickly went downhill. Her childhood trauma evidently caught up with her, which was quickly heightened by her drug use. I would get early morning phone calls off her, telling me that she was frightened and needed to talk immediately. When I turned up at her home, she would not acknowledge the phone call or admit there being a problem. If I tried to talk to her about it, she would quickly change the subject.

Because of her lifestyle choice, Sarah drifted from me and my group of friends. Within a couple of years, Sarah’s mind was no longer her own. She became mentally unstable and was in and out of mental health units.

I lost touch with Sarah many years ago. I have heard through the grapevine that she is still a troubled soul and a shadow of her former ‘happy-go-lucky’ teenage self.

At the time, I may not have understood what I felt in Sarah, but I can still remember how it impacted me. She may have hidden from her pain, but it was loud and clear for me to feel. It gave me a sense of feeling insecure and awkward.

Hidden Pain

Another example of my sensing hidden pain which I didn’t understand in another is with someone who I will refer to as Mrs Smith. I was probably in my twenties, with no real understanding of my Empath ways, when I first encountered Mrs Smith. I remember feeling particularly uncomfortable with her, but in a different way than I had felt with Sarah. The memory of which has also stayed with me for many years.

I have attended the same gym, on and off, since my twenties. It is the type of gym, like many others, where you know people’s faces but don’t know their names or their backstories, and it was here where I first encountered Mrs Smith, when we were paired up in a yoga class:

The best way I could describe Mrs Smith’s energy, on my first encounter with her, was as a self-absorbed vibe. I wasn’t sure why but I did not enjoy being in her presence. I remember back then that she was sometimes arrogant and acted like she was the only person in the room worthy of the teacher’s attention. I felt naturally repelled by her. Over the years, as I came and went from the gym, our paths rarely crossed, until I started doing classes regularly again.

On my first re-encounter, I remember being stood in the studio, waiting for the class to start, when Mrs Smith came behind me. I immediately reacted. All I can say is I felt rage inside. I wanted to get away from her because the feelings I experienced were so unbearable (which also made me feel guilt for wanting to escape her). I didn’t remember feeling ‘this bad’ with her before.

The thing is, Mrs Smith looked happy. She chatted to others in the class and made her presence known. From the outside you would never think anything untoward was going on. But every time I came close to her, if only in passing, I was engulfed with a sense of dread or rage. By this point I knew I was an Empath and I recognised that I was feeling her energy. It was so potent that it was hard for me to block it or distract myself.

I didn’t even have to see Mrs Smith to feel her energy, it would wash over me like a dark gloom, even when she was out of eyeline.

When I don’t know them personally, I sometimes find that by making eye contact with people, who trigger emotional reactions within me, it has the effect of lessening the impact. But as Mrs Smith never looked my way, often breezing by me like I was invisible(this is common when those in pain come near an Empath see this post to learn more), all I could do was quietly inch myself away.

Sadly, a couple of years ago, Mrs Smith committed suicide.

Everyone who knew Mrs Smith at the gym were shocked by how she could do such a thing. They had no idea that she was in such a dark place. But facts emerged about her life after her passing, that she had not shared with others, which explained her story. It also explained why I felt such rage in her presence. It was a very sad ending to a life of pain.

When an Image Does Not Reflect the Truth

I could go on with examples of how people have affected me emotionally, and how an ‘image’ does not always reflect the truth. A smile can hide deep pain. Arrogance can hide an incredible lack of self-worth.

Humans are good at concealing insecurities and their inner turmoil, but an Empath will always feel them.

When engulfed by negative emotions, after being around a certain person, it doesn’t mean the other is a bad person. We are often just picking up on what the person feels about themselves or about life.

Is there a Solution?

So, the question is what we should do when we feel toxic emotions in another. Should we intervene or avoid?

When people hide from themselves, or are in denial of their past, there is not a lot we can do to help them. If they are not ready or willing to confront their insecurities or ‘shadow,’ they will unlikely want others to acknowledge them either.

A Few Kind Words

Self-protection is important. Sometimes staying away from those who trigger uncomfortable feelings is the best and only option. However, there are ways we can make a difference to those in hidden emotional pain, without doing too much damage to our own emotional health, by offering a few kind words.

Words of self-encouragement or just simple friendliness can go a long way. Not only in changing the way the other feels to us, but also in how they feel about themselves (if only briefly).

We can be inclined to avoid those who make us feel bad, but sometimes briefly making contact actually helps them and us. It can have the effect of ‘breaking the emotional connection,’ and distracts us from what we feel.

Some might find it better to mentally send ‘positive vibes’ instead. It really depends on how the energy of another affects you and your mind.

Of course, this is a broad subject with many different scenarios. But it is always good to have different approaches to survive in different situations.

Please feel free to share examples of how you cope when around people who carry ‘uncomfortable energy’ in the comments below.

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time…

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine

 

Please help support me and my work

PLEASE HELP SUPPORT ME AND MY WORK

Why are Empaths Painted as The Villain?

Have you ever been accused of saying something you didn’t say, or blamed for something you didn’t do…?

For an Empath this is more common than you might think…

I am prone to having a roving mind. Having a good old ponder on life and its many ups and downs. During my musings, I often think about my Empath traits, traits that I have lived with for so long, and the impact they have. One thing is for sure, they certainly haven’t offered the easiest ride in life, especially when being the target for unfair attacks and blame.

I know many of you lovely Empaths out there will have experienced either being painted as the villain or being on the receiving end of a character assassination at some point on your journey, and this is what I want to address today.

I have discussed this subject in other posts over the years, but with all this crazy energy affecting the people of the world I thought it a good idea to address it again.

Any Empath who spends time around people often finds themselves under attack in weird ways and for nonsensical reasons. And it’s always good to have reminders as to why these attacks happen because, let’s face it, they don’t feel good.

It is human nature to want to be accepted by others. We are pack animals and don’t always want to be ostracized from the herd (unless we are done with people)..But being wrongly accused, or blamed for something we didn’t do, usually pushes us away from family or friends because it is difficult to deal with such betrayal.

It is common for an Empath to make the mistake of believing that those in our life think and feel the way we think and feel. Therefore, it is beyond our comprehension if someone attacks us or paints us as some ‘crooked creature’.

So why is it so many Empaths are disliked, perceived as the bad guy or are wrongly accused?

There are several reasons; one of the first being:

The Mirror Effect

Empaths can unintentionally reflect what they feel in another. Revealing their truths. Anything hidden, such as insecurities, suppressed shame, guilt or anger, builds the longer it is left buried. If someone conceals traits, such as the above, that they don’t like about themselves, they are reminded of them when in an Empath’s presence.

Why Does this Happen?

Due to the fact an Empath picks up on other people’s emotions, hidden behaviours and true personality traits, we often take them on, sometimes acting them out. Otherwise known as morphing. We basically become like a mirror. Reminding the other of what they are hiding from. This can cause an instant dislike from them to us.

If this has been your experience, that someone seems cold towards you for no reason, it could be that you are reflecting the truth they deny. Or there could be another reason…

You Have a Super-Speedy Vibration

An Empath is generally always working on themselves. Working to clear toxic emotions, dark thoughts or outdated behaviours. We want to make our world into a better brighter place, and we know by making changes to ourselves it will also benefit the outside world.

When we do the work and make any positive changes to our mind, body or spirit, we become cleaner and purer. This effectively speeds up our vibration. Which is a good thing; but it can make others uncomfortable.

Just like an Empath’s need not to be around people who spew negativity, there are some who cannot stand being around those who emit a sparkly clean energy.

Now, this is not to say an Empath is perfect or that they are some kind of ‘quiet saint’. We all have flaws and weaknesses we need to work through. The whole point of life is to evolve. But vibrating in a higher space can repel people, even those we love.

What Does This Look Like?

You may have noticed when in an emotionally low place some friends prefer you that way. It seems to make them comfortable that you are suffering (which is randomly odd). Yet when we make changes and get into a higher vibrating space, those same people don’t always like it. They may try to bring us back down, by attempting to extinguish our inner-light and happiness.

This isn’t always a cruelty thing. They sense us moving away from them and lash out in the hopes it will bring us back to their level.

People sense change, whether it is visually apparent or not, they feel when another has changed or stepped up their frequency. Not everyone is ready to raise their vibration. Some still have lessons to learn at their level and are not ready to move forwards. And because they are not ready, they may try to draw us back down. This is often done by snide remarks and unkind comments. But this is not the only thing that ignites a negative response from others…

An Empath’s Quiet Nature is often Deemed as Offensive

Yes, you did just read that line correctly. Another reason people form an instant dislike of some Empaths (especially the introverts) is because of a quiet nature. Here’s why:

To those of an insecure nature, an Empath’s sometimes quiet or distant ways may be taken as a snub or a form of disrespect. We may be considered as being remote or standoffish and this can be wrongly interpreted as superior or ‘judgy’ behaviour. In other words, some people assume we believe we are ‘above them’.

Normally, when an Empath acts in an aloof or distant way, it is because we are on overload, drained and in need of a ‘timeout’. When having taken on too much stimuli, we want to be invisible to others. A fatigue meltdown means an Empath can’t deal with someone offloading their troubles. We may switch off. Even polite conversation is too much. And this behaviour is often interpreted as a rejection.

Because most people don’t feel an inch of what an Empath does, it is difficult for them to understand our need to withdraw. Sadly, the more insecure someone is, the more they are offended. If we’re seen as blowing ‘hot and cold’, our behaviour may be considered as arrogance. If this causes insult, we may be rejected, or our character is attacked as a form of retaliation.

So, if someone develops an aversion towards you, for no good reason, if they attack you behind your back or paint you as the ‘bad guy’, remember it is not always because of something you have done, instead it is a flaw or insecurity in your attacker.

People will always be threatened by an Empath’s light. We need to know that that’s ok and keep focused on what inspires or uplifts us, instead of on those who are offended by our Empath ways.

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time.

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

 

Please help support me and my work

PLEASE HELP SUPPORT ME AND MY WORK

 

 

Knowing it’s Time to Let Go of Toxic Friends or Family


pexels-photo-906106.jpeg

Most Empaths have at least one person in their life who cause them to experience negative emotions, just by being in their presence. These people, who may be friends or family members, seem to spew acid when they talk: they complain about everything, appreciate nothing and only look out for their own interests.

It is quite normal for an Empath to experience heightened emotions and feel another’s buried pain, and we want to help others out with their problems when we can, but we are not supposed to be someone’s emotional punch bag or toxic dumping ground.

Toxic people can drain your energy within a matter of minutes of being in their presence, and even self-protection techniques may not work to prevent their dark vibes seeping in. 

Typical sensations experienced when with toxic people:

  • Anger or feelings of bitterness: This can last for the duration of being in their presence and up to 10 days after. Depending on their negative traits will depend on what you feel.
  • Fatigue: Struggling to keep your eyes open, especially if they are venting.
  • Being out of sorts: A range of strange feelings wash over you, from being spaced out, to nausea.
  • Negative talk: Finding yourself talking negatively of others, even though it is not a typical trait of yours.
  • Apathy: Losing all previous zest and optimism.

If you have a toxic person in your life, you  may have already tried helping them, by sharing what has helped you in dealing with the rigours of life. Sadly, they did not want to listen and have no intentions of making any changes to themselves, preferring to continue to offload their negative rants on you.

The Empath generally avoids hurting or causing unnecessary pain to others, and it is for this reason many keep in their lives those who cause them unhappiness. Yet, one must always put the emotional health of self first.

If a food or substance made you violently ill, or caused you to feel depressed, you would likely avoid it; the same should be applied to those who cause emotional turmoil.

We have a responsibility to keep our body and mind healthy. If another continually causes stress that we cannot cope with (all stress eventually leads to illness) the only option is to remove them from our life.

I am not talking about having the ego dented by another’s random disrespect. Everyone have people who offend, hurt or make them angry, by their lack of understanding. And we in turn will no doubt, unknowingly, do the same to others. This issue is about those toxic friends, or family members, who repetitively (and often intentionally) bring us down.

pexels-photo-54379.jpeg

The point comes in all toxic friendships when you have to decide if it is causing more harm than good.

Here are some questions to ask that may help you evaluate your friend/relationship and hopefully help you see if it is a healthy one:

  •  Am I taking anything from this friend/relationship?
  • Does spending time with him/her make me happy?
  • Do I dread being in his/her presence?
  • When was the last time I enjoyed being in his/her company?
  • Do we have any of the same interests?
  • Is it a one-sided friendship with me fitting in with his/her needs?
  • Does this relationship affect my emotional health?
  • Do I feel ill, emotionally drained or have intense negative emotions after being with him/her?
  • Am I being used as an emotional dumping ground?
  • Does he/she have a lot of negative thoughts or anger towards me?
  • Am I learning anything from spending time with him/her?
  • Is being in this relationship making me grow spiritually, emotionally or other?
  • Is this relationship beneficial to either of us?
  • Has he/she become dependent upon me?
  • What are my real reasons for staying in this relationship?

There are many reasons we encounter toxic people. A common reason being the Mirror of the Empath. Certain encounters act as a mirror and show us weaknesses or issues we need to resolve within ourselves.

Any undesirable behaviour that repeats, in any type of relationship, is something that needs to be investigated. Repetition highlights flaws or issues that need to be worked on and learnt from.

We all learn from the bad situations presented in life. Yet, if the same emotional scenarios keep playing out, no one is gaining, learning or growing from the situation and it is time to cut the cord.

Once you have learned from an experience you don’t need to re-learn it over and over. You may learn from bad experiences, but you don’t need to keep experiencing other people’s negativity to grow.

This is not about being spiteful or uncaring. You can be grateful for all they have shown you in life and send them love. But when it feels time to let them go, it is.

If you want to learn the secrets of being an Empath, find ways to restructure your life and harness your hidden power, this may be of interest to you.

Hope this helps on your Empath Journey.

Until next time…

If you have found my work to be helpful please consider donating here

 

©Diane Kathrine at Empaths Empowered

Also posted on Awakening People

I have attached a link to an article I came across quite randomly whilst writing this post and offers another writer’s perspective on ways to deal with toxic people, and although it is not written with the Empath in mind, it is worth a read.