Why Do Empaths Have Such a Strong Sense of Not Belonging?

Too many Empaths go through life feeling like they don’t belong. It’s as though they have been dumped in a reality that is not a fit for them… So why is that?

Even before we discover who we are, as Empaths, we can feel like a giant square peg trying to squeeze into a tiny hole.

We look around at those who glide through life, following the rules laid down by society, who appear contented with the way the system operates and who slot in with others effortlessly. Even if they are unhappy, they never seem to question anything, nor find fault with ‘the way things work’. We may wonder why is it so easy for them to ‘fit in’ but not for us?

There are several reasons for this ‘sense of not belonging’ the Empath has; one of which being the way we ‘feel’. Continue reading

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A Guide to Surviving Christmas for the Empath

As I was nosing through some of my old posts, I came across one I posted two Christmases ago (read it here). It made me smile because I remembered how much I disliked the month of December and how bad I always felt when it came to the ‘Silly Season’.

But this year, I have loved every minute of the month. I have loved the cold, damp darkness and wrapping up in warm winter woollies. I have admired the twinkling lights dangling from the trees and houses in the neighbourhood and I have loved socializing and getting together with friends.

Although I still choose not to participate in the ‘material side’ of Christmas, I am now able to enjoy the month without being taken down by the ‘crazy energy’ it produces. And I know this change is due to the fact I continue to work on myself, as an Empath, and I am always finding new ways to overcome the many obstacles life throws us.

However, I know how challenging life can be for the Empath at Christmas. It can be overwhelming, draining and difficult. And, for that reason, I am sharing extracts from the ‘Surviving Christmas‘ post because the techniques still remain beneficial and are good to help one find balance.

Surviving Christmas

Daily Grounding

Most Empaths have a daily grounding ritual, but to stay out of the ‘Christmas stress’ we need to add something extra to it… childlike positivity.

Adopting childlike excitement into your energy can help protect you from the stress energy of others.

We have a choice where our energy and focus goes. Consciously choosing the right focal point is essential to keeping our energy in the right place.

You only have to cast your mind back to childhood to remember how explosively exciting Christmas was. So, instead of tuning into people’s stress energy, focus your awareness on a child’s exhilaration and it will help keep you uplifted and energised.

Carry Haematite or Other Protective Stones

Haematite is both grounding and mirroring, and it will help protect you when in busy, stressed places (basically everywhere over the festive period).

Keeping a piece with you at all times is a good way to shield yourself from unwanted energy. If you want to learn more about the benefits of Haematite for the Empath see this post.

Eat Lots of Bright Coloured Food

Oranges, lemons and limes, red apples, blueberries and bananas, for example, will help keep you protected and healthy over the silly season.

Christmas contributes to bad eating. Party food and alcohol carry little in the way of nutrients, and if we pick up lots of stress energy the immune system will be compromised.

By eating lots of lovely bright coloured foods it ensures you get lots of vitamins and enzymes which wards off colds and builds your resilience towards stress-related illness.

When we eat brightly coloured food, in the form of delicious fruit and veg, we reap many benefits.

Also whether we gaze upon it of consume it, colour raises one’s mood and vibration and that is always going to be super beneficial at this time of year.

Shake it Off

If you get overwhelmed by too much stress energy a brilliant way to get rid of it is by shaking it off.

Start by giving each leg a good shake, shake your bum and your torso, shake your arms and hands, blubber through your lips and wobble your cheeks, run your hands through your hair and give the scalp a good shake (I do not recommend shaking the head as tension is often held in the neck).

Shaking works even better if you can do it in water and/or with some uplifting funky music.

The shaking method also works great if you pick up on any anger energy.

Eat Chocolate

Eating moderate amounts of chocolate is a perfect, and delicious, way for an Empath to ground and recharge.

Many Empaths are naturally drawn to chocolate, their inner-knowing already knows of its benefits. However, not all chocolate is created equal, the darker the chocolate the better and if it is organic, perfect!

Opt for minimum 70% cocoa when choosing your chocolate fix.

Dark chocolate is super healthy as long as it in not loaded with unrefined sugar.

White refined sugar is inflammatory. It causes excess cortisol to be released into the body which then heightens uncomfortable emotions and stress for the Empath (click here to learn more). So try to avoid it.

Practice Gratitude

Christmas can cause overwhelm for an Empath and put them in a negative mindset, but by practising gratitude it can raise the spirits like nothing else.

Being grateful for what you already have in your life will bring in more things to be thankful for. Or, if you don’t feel like you have much to be grateful for, be grateful for the amazing things that are coming your way.

You will be amazed at just how uplifting this is. It also works like chocolate and floods your system with feel good hormones.

Here are some more posts that will help the Empath with Xmas stress

If you need to relax this post will help:  Incredible Relaxation Technique for the Empath

If you pick up on other people’s stress energy and emotions cast your eyes over this: Protection for the Empath

And if you spend time around overly negative people you need to read this: Reasons to Avoid Negative People

I would also like to take this opportunity to wish you all the very best this festive season and I hope and wish you all the most amazing 2018.

Wishing you all much love, happiness and festive fun.

Diane

©Diane Kathrine.

 

The Easy Empath Elixir

Are you one of the many Empaths who struggles to stay in balance?

You are not alone. The stresses of ‘Empath life’ certainly takes its toll on emotional and physical wellbeing. But did you know that just by drinking more water you can become happier and healthier as an Empath?

Sound too good to be true…? Read on…

The body consists of up to 75% water (some body tissue has 95%), so it will come as no surprise that we need to drink lots of water to stay in balance physically and mentally.

When out-of-sorts, we can turn to water as our primary holistic care. Not only will it help keep the body functioning properly but it also helps in dealing with Empath overwhelm and emotional energy.

Most are unaware just how dehydrated they are because they regularly drink fluids throughout the day. But as the body uses so much water, just to function, it is quickly being used and in constant need of replenishment.

Breathing alone loses a quarter of the body’s water, on a daily basis, and that’s without any physical exertion.

Dehydration affects well-being, appearance and accelerates the aging process. Being well-hydrated is essential to keep the body functioning optimally and one’s energy preserved.

We could not survive more than a few days without fluid and this should make it clear how important it is.

But not only does an insufficient supply of water create problems with the functioning of the body and mind, it can also influence how an Empath interprets and experiences the energy of others.

Because they are often on overload, from experiencing too much emotional energy, the Empath’s filtering system does not always work as efficiently as it could and toxins stay in the body longer than they should. And due to the fact, the body is fighting with an excess of toxins, the body’s equilibrium is affected. Continue reading

Do you Feel Disconnected as an Empath?

We don’t always realize it, but life is a series of linked events; each one leading to the next, like the spots on a dot-to-dot puzzle. Yet, most are unaware that the seemingly random occurrences, of daily life, are in any way pivotal to the course of our destiny…

A chance meeting that happened 10 years ago may bring about an incredible job offer tomorrow, or a difficult situation endured in our teens may have helped us cope with an incident in our forties.

Because our mind is kept so busy trying to make sense of life’s conundrums,  we are often kept from connecting the dots on our unique and mysterious life puzzle.

Our Empath sensitivities and busy or stressed mind may also prevent us from seeing how amazing our lives really are.

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The majority of us work hard trying to figure out life. We may wonder where our true purpose lies or we may constantly find ourselves looking at ways to fit into this crazy old world. We often wonder if we are on the ‘right path’.

Sadly, much of our present life is missed because we are stuck focused on negative issues or our mind skips off into the future searching for ways to find the path to happiness

We are led to believe our happiness lies only in our successes and material gains. And because of that we tend to think future goals will bring us our deserved and long sought after happiness. It is as though our happiness lies only in the future or in tomorrow’s achievements… But what about today’s happiness?

How many of our accomplishments came and went without being enjoyed or celebrated…?

Probably not as many as they should.

Was that because they did not bring with them the feelings of completion or fulfilment we expected?

You’ve probably already passed exams, got the job you applied for, bought the car or home, travelled the world, found a partner, enjoy financial stability, had children…

When you stop and look at how much you’ve already achieved in life,  you will see there’s been lots to celebrate… So, if true contentment comes with our accomplishments shouldn’t we be ecstatic?

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So, why do so many Empaths feel disconnected or dissatisfied?

It may certainly seem that the Empath is destined to got through life feeling off-course, unfulfilled, overwhelmed, or that happiness is a destiny that belongs to someone else…

But I know, for a fact, that does not have to be the case.

Yes, there are many things that come with being an Empath that make life difficult: getting hurt easily, feeling other’s emotional pain and often being a beacon for negativity. Yet all the difficulties we endured have built an incredible resilience and strengthened us in ways we cannot begin to imagine. They are part of our unique path.

It is easy to forget that we came here for a reason – to experience life as an Empath and the many challenges that go with it – because we get so distracted by the challenges thrown our way.

Empath life is often strenuous, painful, overly emotional and sometimes lonely. But it is also enlightening, invigorating and electrically charged and, when we allow ourselves to see it, a true gift

As an Empath we can boast of life experiences few can expect to have. We feel things others don’t and we have a strong sense of intuition that will take us to all the right places, if we allow it.

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Sometimes, we purposely make life more difficult for ourselves, without realizing. And sometimes we allow ourselves to wallow in self-pity or we get stuck in victim mentality. We may also subconsciously choose to ignore what we need to do to keep us safe and sane on our journey … but the keys to our happiness are always there for us to find, when we are ready.

And we don’t have to wait, we can choose today to make life changes. A shift in our perspective is all it takes to change our whole outlook and in turn our life experience.

It is only in the here and now where we get to experience true contentment, but we have to choose it first.

To speak metaphorically: we are at the helm of our own ships on a vast ocean steering through rough seas, riding the choppy waves and navigating through storms. Yet, we also sail through the blissfully still and calming waters.

Sadly, when our minds are stuck in past traumas or in future worries we won’t see or appreciate the incredible moments as they unfold, where we can feel the sun on our face and kick back and just be.

As an Empath, it is easy to see dark or challenging times as punishments but when we come through the other side we always find an incredible gift inside the experience.

The experiences we have as Empaths really are unique, and every difficulty we have endured and overcome has catapulted us forward, shaping the course of our life. Everything we have experienced has brought us to where we are now

When we connect the dots of our past we  see a bigger picture emerge. Everything happens for a reason. If you feel disconnected from life you will eventually get to see the reason for it. The disconnection will shape and change you and push you towards the evolvement that is right for you.

You may also find this post helpful: Why do Empaths have such a strong sense of not belonging?

Hope this helps on your journey… books for empath

Until next time.

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine

What Every Empath Needs to Know About The Dark Side


When I started writing for the Empath, back in 2011, there was very little material available on the subject, and this is what drove my compilation of  the ‘Traits of an Empath’. I wanted to help other Empaths understand who they were and discover why they felt all they did. I also wanted to share what had helped me.

It doesn’t seem so long ago that the word ‘Empath’ was a rarely mentioned term. But we can see how that’s changed in recent years. Thousands, if not millions, have discovered who they are as Empaths with all the information now available.

However, with this Empath uprising there also seems to have been an upsurge with the ‘dark side of sensitive’. This can be observed with the rise of the narcissist and those encompassing narcissistic traits.

What Makes a Narcissist?

Although the term narcissism originally stemmed from having extreme vanity, today it represents so much more:

The definition of a narcissist is: a psychological condition characterised by self-preoccupation, high self-esteem, a distinct lack of empathy, excessive self-admiration and a tendency towards selfish or resentful behaviours. But there are many more dark traits associated with this type of disposition such as: one-sidedness, a manipulative nature, unrealistic expectations of others, excess need for control, and a huge sympathy deficiency. In some cases, the traits of a narcissist match up with a psychopath.

The Empath Connection

Where you find an Empath, you often find a narcissist nearby… or at least those who display several narcissistic tendencies.

In fact, if an Empath takes a look into their past they normally see a pattern of people displaying the above traits appearing throughout their lives.

There are some who would argue that an Empath and narcissist are two sides of the same coin. And although I certainly agree they both have heightened levels of sensitivity they are expressed in opposite ways.

An Empath’s sensitive side may breed and feed their emotional pain but it also contributes to their consideration, compassion, and abundance of empathy.

The narcissist’s sensitive side also contributes to their inner-pain but, in many cases, their wounds bred bitter, resentful and vengeful tendencies.

And when a narcissist has been offended it is often the result of a wounded ego as opposed to a pained soul — as in the Empath’s case. Continue reading

9 Reasons Why Empaths Should Avoid Negative People

 

There is no denying it, ‘people stress’ exists. Every one of us has experienced it. And I have no doubt we will have caused people stress to others at some point in our lives.

But there are some who seem to enjoy living under a dark cloud and make an occupation out of unpleasantness; they talk malevolently of people, places and pastimes and suck the joy out of life… These are the negative people of the world

Science has acknowledged that just by spending too much time around those who are constantly disapproving or miserable can have an undesirable influence on one’s health and happiness.

There are many studies showing how prolonged ‘people stress’ alters gene expression within the immune system… Meaning: we can become sick just by hanging out with angry, gloomy or demoralizing people.

Some doctors now even recommend their patients avoid spending time with those who cause them emotional stress; for the fact they could exacerbate health conditions.

It may seem unkind to suggest avoiding negative people, but here are 9 reasons why you should:

1, Low Moods are Triggered by Emotional Contagion:

Emotional contagion is the phenomenon of having one person’s emotions and linked behaviours trigger similar emotions in others. Meaning: Negativity is contagious.

You can experience other people’s low moods just by spending time with them.

2, You Become a Magnet for Negativity:

Ever wondered why after spending time around negative people you draw more negative situations towards you?

Like attracts like.

When you unintentionally harvest other people’s negativity, through emotional contagion, it often becomes your own. Through the law of attraction, you then attract more.

Negativity breeds negativity!

3, You Experience an Energy Drain:

You may have noticed that when you spend time around negative people you feel cloudy, flat and lethargic.

Many negative people are also energy vampires. Their negativity sucks the energy from you, even after a short time spent in their presence. This drain can leave you feeling low, uninspired and weary.

4, Negative People Contribute to Inflammation:

Stress causes inflammation in the body.

Chronic inflammation has been linked to autoimmune disorders, depression, heart disease and even cancer.

By keeping negative people in your life, who cause you stress, you are causing your body more damage than you know.

5, The Adrenal Glands Weaken:

Although every organ is affected by people stress, the adrenals are one of the first to be impacted.

The adrenals are part of the endocrine system and are responsible for releasing the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline.

When the adrenals are functioning properly, cortisol is anti-inflammatory, otherwise it has the opposite effect.

By spending time around negative people it causes excessive stress which activates the fight-or-flight system. This system is supposed to keep you safe from harm, giving you the energy to run away or stay and do battle… but there is no danger just people stress. This happening repeatedly not only weakens the adrenals but inhibits the proper release of cortisol and impairs health.

6, Weight Gain:

If you are Sensitive and spend a lot of time around stress-inducing people, your adrenals become impaired, which – as mentioned above – plays havoc with cortisol production and can lead to weight gain.

As well as being known as the stress hormone, cortisol is also referred to as the fat storing hormone.

The weight gain, caused by excess cortisol production, is often seen around the stomach – and a reason many Empaths have a squidgy, pot belly. This fat is difficult to eliminate because it is not caused by eating too much food and so, reducing food intake has little effect on it.

7, Imbalanced or Blocked Chakras

Chakras are also known as energy centres.

The chakras are directly linked to your endocrine glands (glands that release hormones into the body), and people stress is known to impair the endocrine glands.

When any endocrine gland weakens (adrenals for example), it has a knock-on-effect and leads to unbalanced chakras.

Blocked or unbalanced chakras cause many health problems and can also lead to leaky aura syndrome (a problem many Empaths struggle with).

8, Weakened Energy Field:

Also known as the aura or pranic sheath, your energy field emanates around you like a luminous egg-shaped sheath.

The energy field has been defined as a haze or ‘metamolecular space’ that surrounds every living thing.

A healthy energy field keeps good energy in and bad energy out. A weak energy field, however, is porous and leaky – also known as leaky aura syndrome – and allows in too much energy from others.

If you become overly stressed or anxious, when around negative people, you are more at risk of developing a permeable aura. This can cause many unnecessary difficulties in life.

A weakened aura is bad news on many levels for the Empath (see this post to learn more) and by staying away from negative people it will help keep your energy field healthy.

9, Unhappiness and Depression:

It is difficult to stay upbeat when around anyone who drags you down emotionally.

Sensitive people are prone to low moods and depression and for this – and all the above reasons – the best way to stay happy is by avoiding nasty or unpleasant people.

If you experience guilt at the prospect of avoiding certain negative people, remind yourself you are looking after your health and wellbeing… You deserve to be happy and healthy!

Remedies

Because complete avoidance of negative people is near impossible, I have included 3 quick recovery remedies that aid relaxation and help switch on the parasympathetic nervous system (system responsible for bringing calm and balance to the body).

Take a Salted, Magnesium, Essential Oil Bath:

This is an incredible combination for instilling calm and overall balance. Salt clears negative energy, it also heals and softens the skin.

Magnesium helps one relax, and boosts energy, supports the endocrine system and aids sleep (quality sleep is essential for repairs).

Choosing an essential oil, such as lavender, further supports deep relaxation.

Still the Mind and Calm the Breath:

When stressed or anxious the breathing becomes erratic and thoughts go into overdrive, this only serves in heightening stress and weakens the body.

To quieten the mind, sit comfortably in a darkened room, with incense or your favourite essential oil burning, and practice alternate nostril breathing. This breathing technique brings instant serenity and quietens a chaotic mind.

Get Outdoors:

An effortless way to restore balance is by simply stepping out in nature (read more here), or by using a technique called Earthing (read more here).

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

 

Refs and further reading:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/07/chronic-stress-health-inflammation-genes_n_4226420.html

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/addisons-disease/expert-answers/adrenal-fatigue/FAQ-20057906

http://theusualroutine.com/2016/08/18/science-confirms-people-absorb-energy-others/

http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/endocrine-system

http://www.naturalways.com/adrenal.htm