Inauthenticity and the Empath

Have you noticed that the level of untruths visible within the world is skyrocketing lately? But the strange thing is we can also see that people are blindly inhabiting this world of deception, fraud and dishonesty, as if it is the normal, acceptable thing to do.

In these current times, many Empaths are struggling with the countless pretenses we face in daily life. We have a strong awareness of the fact we are meant to live with integrity. We know we are not supposed to lie for personal gain or to manipulate others and, although we may strive each day towards bettering our-self and finding our truth, it becomes increasingly harder to do when all around us we see so much dishonesty and corruption.

In a world where silver-tongued fraudsters, who spin twisted webs of deceit, are rewarded for their outspoken dishonesty, and those who speak their truth get attacked or victimized, it is easy to understand why people are hesitant to live authentically. And because it seems many are content to bury their heads and not hear or accept real truths, it can feel like things will never change and only get worse.

This evident level of deceit has caused many Empaths frustration, unhappiness and a deep sense of disconnect from the real meaning of life. Everywhere we look truths are suppressed and lies are snowballing out of control. Empaths feel the energy of ‘the lie’ and are deeply affected by them, even when they don’t know what the lie is.

We are in a time where dishonesties are breeding more dishonesty and much of the populace are living in a state of cognitive dissonance. This is causing conflict and chaos within the Empath’s psyche, and is another reason some are so out-of-balance. Something will always feel off ‘energetically’ whilst the world is awash with hyped propaganda and disinformation, and can leave the Empath feeling anxious and physically drained.

cognitive dissonance meaning

But it’s not just living under a disingenuous and power-corrupt establishment that creates imbalance within the Empath, simply being in the presence of inauthenticity can be enough to throw us into disarray.

As an Empath, when we spend time with someone who is not vibrating truthfully it affects us on many levels. When in the company of those whose words don’t match their vibrational energy, it can feel as if our brains have been scrambled. So much so, we may struggle to form a complete sentence when spending time with them. This mind-numbing effect is not caused because the other person is in any way evil, but because our Empathic antenna is picking up all is not what it seems. We are detecting that what this person is showing is not a true reflection of who they really are. Quite often this is because they are hiding deep inner pain. When anyone creates a fake persona, it is a way to hide a side from others that they believe will be rejected (or in some cases as a way to manipulate). Every human wants to feel special and loved, but because many feel unworthy or unlovable, they create a fictitious side to their personality and become inauthentic in their quest to be accepted.

its-better-to-be-hated

When we come across inauthentic people, it is easy to believe we are getting energetically attacked because often that is exactly what it feels like. Our brain gets scrambled because we are reading contradictory energy. It can be seen as stumbling over words or our memory and thought process being unpleasantly affected. It can even cause illness, nervousness or anxiety. This ‘brain scrambling’ could be classed as a form of protection. Our brains are trying to make us aware that something is not right with the present energetic connection. We are not always given direct information about the nature of the contradiction, just a sign that something is off (it is up to us to learn to decipher our reactions). Anyone who is not emanating truthful vibes will put an Empath on high alert, even when we are not in imminent danger. Continue reading

The Truth will Set you Free… It’s True!

The Truth Will Set You Free… It’s True!!!

Finding the truth of who you really are is probably, one of the hardest things you will have to face whilst on this path of awakening.

If you are struggling with the current shift that is happening on our planet, I can guarantee, one of the reasons will be that you are not facing your personal truth. The person you see in the mirror is probably an accumulation of fear-based emotions, untruths, rejections and painful events, built up from your personal history. Ever heard the saying, ‘we’re not really upset about what we think we’re upset about?’ It means we’re not facing the true cause of our pain.

Finding your truth is not an overnight process. I’m sorry to say it can take years, well at least it took me years (and although I’ve come a long way, it’s still something I’m working on). Perhaps if I had known what an impact finding my truth would have had on me, I would have searched it out long ago. It was part of my journey to go the long way round, perhaps, so I could share the information here.

So how did I make the discovery? That the truth will set you free…? Journaling, or in other words keeping a diary.

When I was at my lowest ebb (part of my resistance to the transition) I did not want to talk to anyone about what I was feeling inside. I believed it would make me appear weak and vulnerable. I felt frustrated that I was not in control of my emotions (I later found out that many of them were not mine. See traits of an empath) and, as I was not prepared to talk to anyone about it, I had to find a way to offload. I did this by journaling.

I came across journaling, quite by chance during a quest to improve my writing skills. In her book, Writing down the Bones, Natalie Goldberg explained, that in order to hone one’s writing ability one should write everyday.

Cover of "Writing down the Bones"

Cover of Writing down the Bones

The idea was just to put pen to paper and see what came out… Well, you can probably guess the rest. My ‘writer in training manuals’ turned into my soul-searching journals.

I found that when I started to journal it flowed out of me so fast and furiously that I had to make sure I had many, easy flowing, pens and spiral-bound pads. I would write and write about something and nothing: having arguments on paper with myself, analysing the behaviour of others, comparing spiritual teachings, to name a few.

I wasn’t writing things down with the intention of ever re-reading them. In the beginning, some of my writings could be quite venomous, depending on my mood. Even my beloved dog got written about in an unsavoury way, on one of my darker days. It was all a release valve, a way of discharging many years worth of pent-up emotions from my emotional body. I learnt that by putting my issues on paper I could better understand them. It enabled me to see it all from a higher perspective or in other words, ‘The bigger picture’.

It was during my time of journaling that I realised I was not being honest, in life or in my writings. I was not allowing my true-self to make an appearance because I was so used to hiding my real feelings, that I wasn’t sure how to let them out. So, I allowed myself to be completely honest in my journal. And when I did I found it so liberating, although, admittedly difficult at first, to finally be revealing and facing the truth of myself.

One of the problems I first faced in writing ‘my truth’ was I was afraid someone may read my journals and discover my secrets, the secrets of my personal weakness’s that I had managed to keep hidden from the world. You may now be wondering what kind of secrets are lurking in my closet… to be fair, nothing notable or juicy, they are relatively standard. Here’s a sampling: I feared (still do) being judged, not being good enough, not being liked, being controlled by others and the worst one… people finding out about any of the above and using them against me.

By confronting and analysing my baggage I made discoveries about myself and realised my real issues were not what I thought they were. For example, I would get upset or angry with others if they let me down; I later discovered, through journaling, my real problem was that I did not like, not being in control, I’m a quiet control-freak if you like, and in them letting me down, they were controlling me. Once I realised this was the issue, it helped me deal with it.

I also discovered that if you expect too much out of another, expect to get disappointed. We are all on our individual journeys and expecting another to change their path for our convenience or trying to stop another’s evolvement is not good for our own.

Allowing yourself to confront your truth is so cathartic and freeing, you will wonder why you allowed yourself to carry such a burden for so long. It also releases energy, wasted in our quest for secrecy.

Once you start on the truth, in being truthful to yourself, you have also got to be truthful with others… now this is a tricky one. I don’t mean carelessly dishing out your opinion to anyone who will listen. Truth can get confused with opinions and many opinions come from our ego and not from true-self. Another challenge is discerning the two.

An opinion is transient and is something we use to help us navigate and make sense of our current, life situations. I don’t know about you but my opinions have changed constantly over the years, which I believe is healthy. ‘Limited beliefs offer a limited life!’ To have the same ideas all through your life is simply suffocating. As you grow your ideas and opinions should, hopefully, grow too. Identifying too much with your views and not allowing them to change will stop your soul growth and probably keep you doing the same routine, day in day out… my idea of hell, but then, that is just my opinion!

When I suggested to my sister, that we should strive for the truth, in order to free ourselves, she disagreed, her response was to say, “No, the truth hurts!” She then went on to relay a story that happened to her when she was younger:

My sister and her boyfriend had decided to go out for the evening. At the time, she was a young mum and did not get out very often. She applied make-up put on a new dress and feeling good, she went in to see her boyfriend’s sisters to get their approval. On seeing my sister they immediately laughed at her for wearing make-up and told her she looked stupid, which automatically made her feel ugly and worthless. The sisters apparently prided themselves on saying it as it was, they said they didn’t lie. And this was my sister’s reason for the truth not being the best option, which would be a viable one if everyone involved had told the truth.

My sister is and was very pretty and, although she didn’t use it often, could easily enhance her beauty with the application of make-up. And even though I did not see her the evening in question, I know she would have looked beautiful. The real reason her boyfriend’s sisters were laughing at her was not because she looked stupid or ugly, but because they were threatened by her beauty. Instead of them being honest and admitting she looked pretty, they wanted to make her feel the insecurity they felt. It made them feel better by putting her down. What they portrayed as their honesty was an insecurity hidden as ‘their truth’. It’s the nature of the beast.

You have probably heard at least one person (if not yourself) declare, “I say it like it is!” or, “Take me as I am!” To me, these statements are the biggest give away lines to a person’s vulnerability. It is a defence mechanism, in that, if you can fool others into believing that you don’t give a damn, it will protect you from getting hurt. Or by offering hurtful un-truths it will gain you respect for being fearless. It may have others fooled, but it will not serve you in any way. Lies only serve in weakening us.

Now, let’s get down to the business of lying. Did you know that when you tell a lie, even a white one, that you are being manipulative…? Probably not, but the truth is when you tell a lie, such as to a friend saying, “Sorry I didn’t make it last night I had food poisoning.” When it was really, “I didn’t make it last night because I could not be bothered coming out.” You are being manipulative. You don’t want your friend to think badly of you, or perhaps berate you, for letting him/her down. However, it might be in your ‘opinion’ that you are actually being considerate because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. The reality is you are protecting yourself. In not wanting to be the ‘bad guy’, you manipulate the truth and convince yourself you are doing it to protect another.

emotions

Image via Wikipedia

If you have made plans (contracts) with a friend and decide you cannot keep them for whatever reason, be honest and tell the truth. If you cannot tell them the real reason, then maybe you should reconsider your decision to let them down. In your quest to be honest, try to take into consideration another’s feelings.

Lying will always have repercussions. We never get away with anything in life (even though many of us believe we do). If you lie to others prepare for it to be returned. Most people will lie to gain respect or have someone think more highly of them. A quote that relates to this is:

It is better to be disliked for the person you really are than to be loved for being someone you are not!’

This rings true on so many levels. I’m sure you can think of someone who has gained love or respect from pretence, or offering untruths out to the world. The wheel of karma is spinning faster and the world of deceit is nearly at an end, we are seeing many untruths revealed daily, within our everyday lives, in the media and the courtrooms…

A life lived without the truth is an unfulfilled life!’

So what benefits do you get from telling your truth, living your truth and being your truth…?  Emotional freedom from a life you did not realise was a prison (we cannot be free when bound by lies). When you live your truth, it is as though a huge weight has lifted, you feel cleaner and free. You start to see life in a different light, as the truths of the world are revealed. But most importantly the truth of who you truly are begins to unveil. You will see that you are none of those fears and insecurities, you once carried… You are a beautiful ‘free’ being who’s now about to embark on whole new episode of life in truth!