Why Are So Many Empaths Unable to Connect With Others?

Today I decided to share another older post. It is something that is as relevant today as when I first wrote it. However, this inability to find real connections is something in the process of changing…

If you are one of the many Empaths who feel unable to make real connections with people, or with life itself, know that you are not alone and that there is a reason for it.

We don’t always realize, but life is a series of linked events; each one leading to the next, like the spots on a dot-to-dot puzzle. Yet, most are unaware that the seemingly random occurrences of life and a feeling of ‘disconnect’ are in any way pivotal to the course of our destiny…

Because the mind is kept so busy trying to make sense of life’s conundrums,  we are often kept from connecting the dots on our unique and mysterious life puzzle. Our Empath sensitivities may also prevent us from seeing how amazing our lives are, or how this sense of ‘disconnectedness’ serves us.

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The majority of us work hard trying to figure out life. We may wonder where our true purpose lies or we may constantly find ourselves looking at ways to better fit in with others. It may even feel like we are not on the ‘right path’.

Why do so many Empaths feel disconnected?

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It may certainly seem that the Empath is destined to go through life feeling off-course, unfulfilled, overwhelmed, or unable to connect. There are many things that come with being an Empath that makes them push people away: getting hurt easily, feeling others’ emotional pain, and being a beacon for other people’s problems being but a few. This in itself can lead to feelings of being disconnected.

It is easy to forget that we came here for a reason: to experience life as an Empath, and the many challenges that go with it, because we get distracted by the obstacles we face.

Empath life is often strenuous, painful, overly emotional, sometimes lonely and often comes with a huge sense of disconnect from others. Which is ironic considering we feel the energy of people so powerfully. But, when we allow ourselves to see it, Empath life is also enlightening, invigorating, electrically charged and a true gift.

Empaths can boast of life experiences few can expect to have. We feel things others don’t and we have a strong sense of intuition that will take us to all the right places, if we believe in it and follow its guidance.

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Sometimes, we purposely make life more difficult for ourselves, without realizing. And sometimes we allow ourselves to wallow in self-pity or we get stuck in victim mentality. We may also subconsciously choose to ignore what we need to do to keep us safe and sane on our journey. But the keys to our happiness and ‘reconnection’ are always there for us to find, when we are ready.

So, to get to the reason for not feeling connected to others: Being disconnected keeps us moving forward, looking for ways to better ourself or find the answers. If we were to feel extremely contented and comfortable in life, we would not look for ways to become empowered.

As an Empath, it is easy to see dark or challenging times as punishments, but when we come through the other side we always find an incredible gift inside the experience.

The experiences we have, really are unique, and every difficulty we have endured and overcome has catapulted us forward, shaping the course of our life.

When we connect the dots of our past, we  see a bigger picture emerge. Everything happens for a reason.  Even feeling disconnected shapes and changes us, pushing us towards evolvement.

Listen to your soul, tune into your intuition and don’t be afraid to make the changes you know that will reconnect you to your truth, purpose and happiness, and in turn others.

You may also find this post helpful: Why do Empaths have such a strong sense of not belonging?

Hope this helps on your journey… books for empath

Until next time.

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine

The Past That Shapes Our Future Empath Traits

What I both love and hate about this life in equal measure is that we never stop having experiences for growth. We may think we’ve got the whole thing nailed down, got our body and mind balanced and our outlook in line, then poof, something comes along that either throws everything into chaos, changes our beliefs or takes us on to a new path of evolvement.

Just like the times we are currently in.

Like everyone else, I am constantly opening new doors, making discoveries about myself and the world, facing different challenges and looking for answers. This year, it would seem, I have been tying loose ends up from my past.

You too may have noticed that in recent weeks or months, you have been having flashbacks to people from your past and experiences you may have had with them. Both good and bad. This could be in memories, dreams or meditations. It certainly appears as though we have been given the opportunity to understand and release our past pains.

My Experience

In the past couple of years, I have been working more closely with my crystals during morning meditations. Any of you who work with them will know that not only are certain stones incredible for protection and grounding, they also have a unique way of activating the higher mind and revealing things that have been previously veiled.

As Empaths, we may have strong intuition and good instincts with others, but when it comes to ourselves, we often have barriers up. We have to work harder to find our truths. Especially if in our past we experienced trauma, heightened sensitivities or childhood difficulties.

Anyway, last month I had been pondering my past and why I had experienced difficulties or let-downs with certain people. I asked the question during my meditation one morning and I received my answers in a somewhat indirect way.

Later that same evening, when out with some friends, one of them had had a few too many drinks and a subject from the past came up which had been upsetting for me at the time. Basically, a close friend had let me down in a big way. I had forgotten about the incident, but when it was bought up, I realized there were buried emotions still linked to it. Now, although I understand the reasoning for my friend’s actions, and I know it upset him at the time, I had not released the imprint of disappointment.

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The next day I got to thinking about why this had been suddenly brought up and a rush of information flooded my mind. Like a eureka moment. I remembered the question I had asked the previous day. I was receiving my answer as an experience of memories.

Past Shaping the Future

Since being a child, I had always felt set apart from others, especially my family. We were a family of six. Three older sisters, a father with anger issues and a sometimes-distant mother. As a child, I didn’t really feel a strong connection to my family and apart from my mum, I never felt particularly ‘safe’ with them. They were wrapped up in their world and it seemed as though I was on the outside. Because of this, I often felt let down by their actions, and had the idea that they were never really there for me.

This idea had become an embedded belief which was carried with me, and through my vibration and the law of attraction it shaped my life. I inadvertently chose my friends on this rooted childhood belief. This meant having friends who would offer me the life experiences of feeling let down or of them not being there for me.

The let downs I am referring to may seem insignificant to some, but in my twenties and thirties they were a big deal. In hindsight, it was almost as though I was looking for reasons to feel unsafe and confirm my belief that others would not be there for me.

Because I have always known what it felt like to be let down, I would go out of my way not to do it to others.

In the past, I assumed everyone had the same inner-feelings and Sensitivities as me. It was only when I discovered more about myself, and the world around me, that I came to understand this wasn’t the case. My friends didn’t have the same sensitivities, empathy or life experience, so they couldn’t draw on them in their actions and behaviours.

My friends are all different. We don’t share the same beliefs or have matching opinions and we haven’t had the same struggles; but on our own paths we have evolved together. They are good people who, in their own ways, are also trying to fathom this ‘life’ out.

Over the years, I’ve seen my friends have their own share of difficulties and let-downs, which I know has also shaped them. Life really isn’t easy for anyone. Even if from the outside it seems someone has a gilded existence, behind closed doors it quite often isn’t the case.

Life’s Expectations

It is often our own beliefs and expectations that cause us the hurt and pain. And when we can see this for ourself we know we have gained a valuable lesson.

Everything really is linked. We have attracted people into our life based on the vibration of our beliefs, even when we don’t realise that we hold certain ingrained ideas.

In recent times, if you too have been having memories or flashbacks of people from your past who caused you pain or difficulties, I would suggest it is because you do not need to learn from those happenings any more. It is time to let the pain of the memories go.

 

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time…

Diane

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Why All Empaths Should Avoid Unnecessary Negativity

Following on from my post last week regarding the law of attraction (click here to read, otherwise this one may not make sense), I agree that negative experiences are an essential part of life and growth. I have written about this many times before in both my books and posts.

I know if I hadn’t experienced dark times, I would not have pushed myself forward to be where I am now. Many good things come out of negative situations. I am a big believer in that. Continue reading

The Reason an Empath Has A Disadvantage With The Law Of Attraction

Today’s post is about an interesting comment I received on the last post I shared.

When I first read the following comment, my initial reaction was this was a negative response. It ruffled my feathers. I wasn’t sure what it was about. But I then realized there was a reference to the law of attraction in my last post. (Read my last post here).

Here is the comment:

Thinking negatively is absolutely essential if we are to change ourselves. Without negativity there is literally no driving force for change. Shame, depression, despair, sadness, anxiety, disillusionment, guilt, aloneness, self-doubt, self-dissatisfaction, feelings of inferiority etc. force self-aware individuals with a conscience to do better (‘the Theory of Positive Disintegration’, analogous to ‘the dark night of the soul’).

The ‘law of attraction’ – as it’s widely understood – is hogwash. Poor and sick people didn’t set out to be poor and sick people, and thinking happy-clappy thoughts won’t make their reality any nicer. Also, bad things happen to good people, and as well as that all sorts of low-life try to attack good people (where’s the ‘law of attraction’ in that?) There isn’t one genuinely spiritual person who hasn’t gone through an utterly miserable time from others.

Where the ‘law of attraction’ becomes even more pernicious is with new-age internet scammers who tell their victims that the ‘get rich quick’ schemes they bought into didn’t succeed because ‘they weren’t thinking positively enough’.

As I pondered my reply, I realized it would be a lengthy one. So, I decided it was a good opportunity to write a post about it instead, because a) I agree with the comment, and b) because I don’t agree with it and c) because I realize many Empaths may be of the same mind, (and d) because anything that ruffles my feathers is drawing my attention to something that needs addressing). Continue reading