Why are Empaths so often Painted as The Villain?

Have you ever been accused of saying something you didn’t say, or blamed for something you didn’t do…?

For an Empath this is more common than you might think…

I am prone to having a roving mind. Having a good old ponder on life and its many ups and downs. During my musings, I often think about my Empath traits, traits that I have lived with for so long, and the impact they have. One thing is for sure, they certainly haven’t offered the easiest ride in life, especially when being the target for unfair attacks and blame.

I know many of you lovely Empaths out there will have experienced either being painted as the villain or being on the receiving end of a character assassination at some point on your journey, and this is what I want to address today.

I have discussed this subject in other posts over the years, but with all this crazy energy affecting the people of the world I thought it a good idea to address it again.

Any Empath who spends time around people often finds themselves under attack in weird ways and for nonsensical reasons. And it’s always good to have reminders as to why these attacks happen because, let’s face it, they don’t feel good.

It is human nature to want to be accepted by others. We are pack animals and don’t always want to be ostracized from the herd (unless we are done with people)..But being wrongly accused, or blamed for something we didn’t do, usually pushes us away from family or friends because it is difficult to deal with such betrayal.

It is common for an Empath to make the mistake of believing that those in our life think and feel the way we think and feel. Therefore, it is beyond our comprehension if someone attacks us or paints us as some ‘crooked creature’.

So why is it so many Empaths are disliked, perceived as the bad guy or are wrongly accused?

There are several reasons; one of the first being:

The Mirror Effect

Empaths can unintentionally reflect what they feel in another. Revealing their truths. Anything hidden, such as insecurities, suppressed shame, guilt or anger, builds the longer it is left buried. If someone conceals traits, such as the above, that they don’t like about themselves, they are reminded of them when in an Empath’s presence.

Why Does this Happen?

Due to the fact an Empath picks up on other people’s emotions, hidden behaviours and true personality traits, we often take them on, sometimes acting them out. Otherwise known as morphing. We basically become like a mirror. Reminding the other of what they are hiding from. This can cause an instant dislike from them to us.

If this has been your experience, that someone seems cold towards you for no reason, it could be that you are reflecting the truth they deny. Or there could be another reason…

You Have a Super-Speedy Vibration

An Empath is generally always working on themselves. Working to clear toxic emotions, dark thoughts or outdated behaviours. We want to make our world into a better brighter place, and we know by making changes to ourselves it will also benefit the outside world.

When we do the work and make any positive changes to our mind, body or spirit, we become cleaner and purer. This effectively speeds up our vibration. Which is a good thing; but it can make others uncomfortable.

Just like an Empath’s need not to be around people who spew negativity, there are some who cannot stand being around those who emit a sparkly clean energy.

Now, this is not to say an Empath is perfect or that they are some kind of ‘quiet saint’. We all have flaws and weaknesses we need to work through. The whole point of life is to evolve. But vibrating in a higher space can repel people, even those we love.

What Does This Look Like?

You may have noticed when in an emotionally low place some friends prefer you that way. It seems to make them comfortable that you are suffering (which is randomly odd). Yet when we make changes and get into a higher vibrating space, those same people don’t always like it. They may try to bring us back down, by attempting to extinguish our inner-light and happiness.

This isn’t always a cruelty thing. They sense us moving away from them and lash out in the hopes it will bring us back to their level.

People sense change, whether it is visually apparent or not, they feel when another has changed or stepped up their frequency. Not everyone is ready to raise their vibration. Some still have lessons to learn at their level and are not ready to move forwards. And because they are not ready, they may try to draw us back down. This is often done by snide remarks and unkind comments. But this is not the only thing that ignites a negative response from others…

An Empath’s Quiet Nature is often Deemed as Offensive

Yes, you did just read that line correctly. Another reason people form an instant dislike of some Empaths (especially the introverts) is because of a quiet nature. Here’s why:

To those of an insecure nature, an Empath’s sometimes quiet or distant ways may be taken as a snub or a form of disrespect. We may be considered as being remote or standoffish and this can be wrongly interpreted as superior or ‘judgy’ behaviour. In other words, some people assume we believe we are ‘above them’.

Normally, when an Empath acts in an aloof or distant way, it is because we are on overload, drained and in need of a ‘timeout’. When having taken on too much stimuli, we want to be invisible to others. A fatigue meltdown means an Empath can’t deal with someone offloading their troubles. We may switch off. Even polite conversation is too much. And this behaviour is often interpreted as a rejection.

Because most people don’t feel an inch of what an Empath does, it is difficult for them to understand our need to withdraw. Sadly, the more insecure someone is, the more they are offended. If we’re seen as blowing ‘hot and cold’, our behaviour may be considered as arrogance. If this causes insult, we may be rejected, or our character is attacked as a form of retaliation.

So, if someone develops an aversion towards you, for no good reason, if they attack you behind your back or paint you as the ‘bad guy’, remember it is not always because of something you have done, instead it is a flaw or insecurity in your attacker.

People will always be threatened by an Empath’s light. We need to know that that’s ok and keep focused on what inspires or uplifts us, instead of on those who are offended by our Empath ways.

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time.

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

 

 

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How to Get Back in Control of Your Empath Life

Last month, I happened across a great piece in The Guardian about depression and mental health, that really struck a chord with me.

Basically, the article said that depression is not just about chemical imbalances, as it has been touted by the scientific and medical communities for many years, but more about power imbalances and a lack of control. (Even though it was not written with the Empath in mind, I recommend it. It’s quite enlightening.) Here is a link to the article:

Most Empaths and Sensitives are prone to having bouts of depression or low moods. Although we can often link these gloomy periods to spending time with overly negative people, being around those who act as trauma triggers, or eating unsuitable foods, etc. but power imbalances, and a lack of life-control is something we should also consider.

A lack of control being linked to depression makes total sense. Not having power in one’s life also equates to feelings of helplessness and the sense of walking aimlessly. When we feel we are not in control of our life, and have no direction it might also be said that we have no purpose.

Everyone needs purpose. To have a reason to get up in the morning, to do something not only that we enjoy but that we know we are good at. But how many people can make that claim? Not many. Most are stuck in jobs not for the joy or purpose it gives them, but for the pay-check.

Anyone who is creative and or intelligent (and I don’t just mean educated) are naturally inclined to want to be in control of their destiny and have a reason for being.

Granted, some think they would prefer others to make their decisions for them – often born from having a fear of making the wrong decision or a lack of belief in self – but someone else controlling our life or purpose will never bring happiness.

Over 80% of the workforce are unfulfilled and unhappy in their work. That’s a lot of people.

If we consider many people went into professions chosen by their parents, or they chose their careers before they got to know who they were, it makes total sense. After all, who knows at sixteen what they will want to do for the rest of their lives? Not many people.

We change so much from when in our teenage years to when we are in our thirties. This, I believe, is a reason that so many people find themselves unhappy in their work in later life. They didn’t choose their vocation or they chose too young.

The lack of life-control in society means we end up living in conflict. Inside, we want to do something that feels meaningful and gives us purpose. In reality, many are stuck working to pay for mortgages, bills and children, and to fund a lifestyle.

What we are told will make us happy rarely does, because one size does not fit all. And this is why so many people feel like they are not in control.

I often refer to myself as being a ‘quiet control freak’. And that is not because I secretly want to rule others or be on some kind of ‘power trip’ with them. It’s because I want to be in control of my life… at least as much as I can. I realise we can’t control everything. But I do want to control what I do, where I go and how my time is used, I also want to be in control of whose energy I’m in. So, I tend to have a problem if others try to control me or if their energy is overbearing. The ‘quiet’ comes in because instead of being argumentative or objectionable, with those who force control, I quietly back away.

Having a desire to control one’s life is not a bad thing. We are at the helm of our own ships and it is up to us to set our own course and destination. We should be able to do this when we are ready to do so (which is rarely at the age we are expected).

Not being in control can seem like a form of imprisonment, as can feeling forced to do work we have no passion for or interest in. That is not freedom. Humans are supposed to have freewill. We also need to know we have choices, even if we don’t choose to use them.

In the early years, many Empaths were made to feel small and insignificant by those around them. In a bid to overcome this we may have searched for positions of power or wealth, in adulthood, in the belief it would make us more in control or ‘untouchable’. But we cannot always control the way other people make us feel. So, even if we achieve great status, power and vast wealth, if we do not feel in control of how we feel, or if we are not following our true calling, a void remains inside.

The article I linked to above, an extract from Johann Hari’s book: ‘Lost Connections’, suggests that the depression most people experience is caused by our inner-self trying to raise our awareness that we are off-course. ‘It’s telling us that our natural psychological needs are not being met and it is a form of grief.’ Which I totally agree with.

We need to listen to our emotional signals and this is something I write a lot about:

By listening to our gut’s promptings and intuition it can save us unnecessary heartache. As an Empath, however, defining these signals is a challenge.

Because we feel everything so powerfully, it is difficult to discern the trigger of our own emotions, and those that belong to others.  But, speaking from experience, this is something we can all learn to overcome.

In the past, I have had times when I suffered with low moods or felt depressed, both of which pushed me to find the cause and make necessary changes to my life.

Nowadays, if I experience a gloomy mood, I can link it back to either eating a food I shouldn’t (normally containing high levels of lectins), having spent too much time in peopled places or around excess negativity (or there’s been intense shifts in energy).

Because I have learnt to interpret my own signals and triggers, I try to follow what is right for me. There is nothing worse than experiencing low moods unnecessarily.

If we are constantly down or depressed, these are our inner-messages telling us something is not right either with the path we are walking or the way we are living our lives.

If you regularly read my posts, you may already know I am a great believer that bad things happen for good reasons. We just don’t see it at the time. Depression can be a call for change, our change. But we have to question the feelings we experience and find the root-cause. Which will be different for everyone.

We need to focus on taking back our power and that starts with getting in control of what we can.

To live happily as Empaths, staying in control is something we must work on daily, otherwise the world, and the way it makes us feel, will swallow us up.

Because this is a vast subject and an area many Empaths struggle with, I will continue the theme in my next post. Read part two here.

But if you want to look at ways to take back control here are some posts that may help you on your way.

Are You Leaking Energy? 

What is an Empath’s Purpose?

Transform Your Empath Life with This One Thing

An Empath’s Guide

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time.

Diane

©Diane Kathrine