The Controlling Force of Emotions

Continuing on from my last post, where I discussed how being in jobs that do not feel like a fit can lead to depression, as can feeling directionless or out of control in one’s life. Today, I want to further address the subject of feeling a power imbalance as an Empath and a need to control what we feel.

When out of balance or out of control, as an Empath, many of our emotional sensations are amplified. We become oversensitive to everyday life situations and get hurt easily. We may suffer more with depression and are open to attract depressive moods from others (like attracts like).

In my post: Why do Empaths have Such a Strong Sense of Belonging, I made reference to Empaths knowing when something is wrong in their surroundings, even if they don’t know exactly what it is. The fact that so few people have control over their lives makes for a lot of unhappy people. Empaths pick up on the collective sense of dissatisfaction in the populace, which can bring them down. This can then also hold them back from their own forwards momentum.

As Empaths, we get down when it seems like we have no control of the way we feel. Which is understandable. Getting bombarded with the emotional energy of others (on top of our own emotions) is no fun and it can certainly influence the way we operate as humans and Empaths.

What we pick up from others can shape our life, especially if we are not aware the emotional energy we are experiencing does not belong to us. (If you struggle with defining the emotional energy of others read this.)

But other people’s energy is not the only thing that can lead to emotional instability and a sense of ‘no life-control’. Continue reading

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Finding Purpose and Taking Back Control

Last month, I happened across a great piece in The Guardian about depression and mental health, that really struck a chord with me.

Basically, the article said that depression is not about chemical imbalances—as it has been touted by the scientific and medical communities for many years—but more about power imbalances and a lack of control. (Even though it was not written with the Empath in mind, I recommend that you read it. It’s quite enlightening.) Here is a link to the article:

Most Empaths and Sensitives are prone to having bouts of depression and or depressive moods. Although we can often link these gloomy periods to spending time with overly negative people, being around those who act as trauma triggers, or eating unsuitable foods, etc. but power imbalances, and a lack of life-control is something we should also consider.

A lack of control being linked to depression makes total sense. Not having power in one’s life also equates to feelings of helplessness and the sense of walking aimlessly. When we feel we are not in control of our life, and have no direction it might also be said that we have no purpose.

Everyone needs purpose. To have a reason to get up in the morning to do something not only that we enjoy but that we know we are good at. But how many people can make that claim? Not many. Most are stuck in jobs not for the joy or purpose it gives them, but for the pay-check.

Anyone who is creative and/or intelligent (and I don’t just mean educated) are naturally inclined to want to be in control of their destiny and have a reason for being. Granted, some think they would prefer others to make their decisions for them—often born from having a fear of making the wrong decision or a lack of belief in self—but someone else controlling our life or purpose will never bring happiness.

As I’ve written about before, over 80% of the workforce are unfulfilled by their work. But if we consider that some went into professions chosen by their parents it makes sense. After all, who knows at sixteen what they will want to do for the rest of their lives. This, I believe, is a reason many find themselves unhappy in their work in later life. They didn’t choose their vocation, or they chose too young. Many are pushed towards careers for the remuneration as opposed to job satisfaction. And, although our parents know us better than we would care to admit, they are not there to choose our vocation, and in turn life purpose for us.

The lack of life-control in society means we end up living in conflict. Inside, we want to do something that feels meaningful and gives us purpose. In reality, many are stuck working to pay for mortgages, bills and children, and to fund a lifestyle.

What we are told will make us happy rarely does because one size does not fit all.

I often refer to myself as being a ‘quiet control freak’. And that is not because I secretly want to rule others or be on some kind of ‘power trip’ with them. But because I want to be in control of my life: I want to control what I do, where I go, and how my time is used. So, I tend to have a problem when others try to control me.

But having a desire to control one’s own life is not a bad thing. We are at the helm of our own ships and it is up to us to set our own course and destination. When we are ready to do so (which is rarely at the age we are expected).

Not being in control can seem like a form of imprisonment. As is feeling forced to do work we have no passion for or interest in. That is not freedom. Humans are supposed to have freewill. We also need to know we have choices even if we don’t choose to use them.

Too often Sensitive people are made to feel small and insignificant by those who enjoy undermining others. In our bid to overcome this we may search for positions of power or wealth in the belief they will make us whole or worthy. Alas, this is often not the case. Even if we achieve great status, power and vast material wealth, if we do not feel in control or if we are not following our calling the void remains inside.

The article I linked to above, an extract from Johann Hari’s book: ‘Lost Connections’, suggests that the depression most experience is caused by our inner-self trying to raise our awareness that we are off course. ‘It’s telling us that our natural psychological needs are not being met and is a form of grief.’ Which I totally agree with.

We need to listen to our emotional signals and this is something I write a lot about: By listening to our gut’s promptings and intuition it can save us unnecessary heartache. As an Empath, however, defining these signals is a challenge. Because we feel everything so powerfully, it is difficult to discern the trigger of our own emotions, and those that belong to others.  But, speaking from experience, this is something we can all learn to overcome.

In the past, I suffered with mild depression and low moods, both of which pushed me to find the cause and make necessary changes. Nowadays, if I experience a gloomy mood, I can link it back to either eating a food I shouldn’t (normally containing high levels of lectins), having spent too much time in peopled places or around excess negativity (or intense shifts in energy). Because I have learnt to interpret my own signals and triggers, I try to follow what is right for me. There is nothing worse than experiencing low moods unnecessarily.

If we are constantly down or depressed, these are our inner-messages telling us something is not right either with the path we are walking or the way we are living our lives.

If you regularly read my posts, you may already know I am a great believer that bad things happen for good reasons. We just don’t see it at the time. Depression can be a call for change, our change. But we have to question it and find the root cause, which will be different for everyone. However, sometimes depression is sparked by that which seems out of our control, which is something I intend to address in my next post.

We need to focus on taking back our power and that starts with getting in control of what we can.

To live happily as Empaths, staying in control is something we must work on daily, otherwise the world, and the way it makes us feel, will swallow us up.

Because this is a vast subject and an area many Empaths struggle with, I will continue the theme in my next post. But if you want to look at ways to take back control here are some posts that may help you on your way.

Are You Leaking Energy?

What is an Empath’s Purpose?

Transform Your Empath Life with This One Thing

An Empath’s Guide

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time.

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

Discover Your Purpose & Find Your Empath Wings

The following is an edited extract taken from the book ‘7 Secrets of the Sensitive’. I have lifted paragraphs from chapter 5 so as not to give too much of the book away. Enjoy…

‘One thing I know is the Empaths are here for an important reason. I can feel it. As I’m sure you can too. You may not know what this purpose is yet, but you are certainly on your way to finding out. Continue reading

What is an Empath’s Purpose in Life?

 

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One of the most frequently asked questions by those on the path of awakening is: What is my purpose as an Empath?

I know only too well how frustrating it is to have this question burning unanswered within. It is also frustrating to have this incredible gift and not know what it is for or what to do with it.

Many Empaths feel they should be helping others. But because they get overwhelmed, by spending too much time around people, they don’t know how that would be possible.

It is an inbred trait for Empaths to want to be of service. And, it is often the case that the more an Empath has suffered the more they want to save others from enduring the same pain. They may look for certain vocations that will help make this possible. Continue reading