A couple of posts ago, I wrote about Negativity Addiction and how it impacts the Empaths of the world. Today I’ll be addressing another unusual addiction talked about within social media circles: Destination Addiction.
Destination Addiction is the idea that happiness lies in the next job, the next relationship or location, etc. It is said that until we give up the idea that happiness lies somewhere else it will never be where we are.
When I came across the idea of ‘Destination Addiction’, it opened an inner-dialogue; was this a good thing or not? On the one hand, if we believe happiness lies outside of ourselves, do we ever find it? and on the other, does our pursuit of happiness not keep us moving forwards, onwards and upwards?
Thinking about it, I see both sides have their merits. Destination Addiction (DA) can serve us, helping us uncover our truth, but it might also prevent us from feeling complete.
Everyone is Susceptible
DA affects many people’s lives in different ways. The obvious scenario is when someone gives up something good to find something better, only to end up with something worse. For example, in relationships: an unhappy person might break up a stable marriage with a loving spouse, after blaming them for their unhappiness; to set up with another partner, who they deem to be their ‘perfect match’, only to find they are still unhappy and in a worse situation than before.
Then there are those who have incredible experiences in their DA and search for happiness: By pushing forward, to find a place of ‘belonging’, a person might study hard, try numerous vocations, have beautiful families, visit mind-blowing locations, and meet extraordinary people.
I consider myself to be a multipotentialite. I love trying new things. But am I in the belief that the next endeavour holds long-sought after happiness? The answer is a resounding, No. Apart from the days when I’ve eaten a disagreeable food, or suffered a dose of ‘people-itis’, or if my hormones are playing up, I would say I am happy. I love what I do. But I also adore collecting new life experiences. I do it for the experience and not because I am ‘searching for happiness outside myself’. But I wasn’t always that way…
Like many twenty somethings, I also believed happiness lay somewhere else; which didn’t get any better as I moved into my thirties. Being in a profession I fell into (hairdressing), with a business that felt like a trap, and a business partner who wasn’t a fit for me or my Empath ways, I kept looking outside of myself. Believing there was something else out there, I wished it would come and find me, but deep down I knew it was my job to search it out.
Anyone looking from the outside might have considered me to be inconsistent or that I couldn’t stick to anything, because I kept studying and pursuing new interests. My adventurous spirit could have been classed as a bad case of ‘Destination Addiction’. That said, I always finished what I started, and I truly enjoyed learning. But an inner-void and a yearning kept pushing me on. There were missing pieces, that needed to be found. I kept searching.
The search sent knowledge and many incredible life experiences to me, including some unpleasant obstacles. So, what might be classed as a ‘DA’ has served me well.
Have I found all the pieces? No, and nor would I want to. Gaining knowledge and having experiences keeps life interesting and awesome.
An Unhappy Population
According to statistics, about seventy-five percent of the workforce are miserable in their career. The cost of living traps many people. Simply paying for life’s necessities can wrap us up in debt. But even when one has wealth or ‘the dream job’ it doesn’t mean happiness is guaranteed. Sometimes the biggest void is seen in those who ‘seemingly’ have the most.
We are led to believe that wealth and positions of power are they key to happiness; but what about all those who ‘have it all’ and are still unhappy?
When someone has a void within that they don’t know how to satisfy, some of the usual fillers are drink, drugs, or shopping. Chasing a high or plugging up a lack of fulfilment with ‘stuff’, there’s a belief that the next night out, the new car, next holiday, or shiny Rolex will seal the ‘gap’. But does it ever?
What’s the Answer?
I heard a comment the other day that put a smile on my face:
‘If you could do one thing in life that you knew you wouldn’t fail at, what would it be…? Now, go off and do it.’
Such simple logic. But career is not always where the real problems lie. The belief that happiness is somewhere else might just be the issue.
Taking quiet reflective time to look at life objectively can help. Time to think about possible changes that could be made.
Changes don’t necessarily need to be new life experiences, new jobs or new relationships, they could be as simple as spending regular time in nature, giving up processed foods, incorporating crystals or aromatherapy oils into daily life, or drinking more water… Don’t try harder try different.
It is often small changes that make the biggest difference. They all add up, and help us see that happiness has always been within reach.
So, yes, in my humble opinion, Destination Addiction has both pros and cons. If we allow it to push us towards life experiences, growth and a career that is a fit with who we are, then it is a great blessing. If we convince ourselves that happiness lies outside ourselves, or in the hands of another, then it might never be found.
We have the potential to uncover exactly what we need. But we also have to be patient, and know every experience is serving us in ways we might not understand for some time. Roads that appear to lead nowhere are also steps of new direction, and still have purpose.
Until next time,