Whose Emotion Are You In? A Guide For Empaths

Is this your emotion you are feeling? Or does it belong to someone else?

Learning to differentiate between ‘whose emotion belongs to whom’ certainly proves to be a challenge for many Empaths.

Not recognizing other people’s energy, within oneself, is a common theme within the Empath world. Just knowing you take on the emotions from others, does not mean you can automatically discern them from your own or are able to prevent them from affecting you.

When you pick up heavy emotional energy you can feel it in a number of ways: Good emotions rarely cause problems. But if what you pick up is negative, you may interpret it as the emotion you least enjoy or that which is related to an unresolved issue. It is also common for foreign energy to stoke up anger or irritation, even if the other is not themselves experiencing this emotion.

Because there are so many people who carry stress and hidden pain, it can be difficult for the Empath to avoid when out in public places. And if you have a lot of buried pain, it will make the experience, of picking up someone else’s, so much worse.

The reason for this is, the brain tries to rationalize what the body is feeling and will try to categorize the feelings you take on. If the emotions, you pick up in another, are something similar to what you have experienced from a past experience, the mind will trigger that memory. Which often means you get caught up in painful memories, totally unaware it was triggered by someone else’s energy.

Also, if you are one who dislikes people in your “personal bubble” you will not welcome their emotional energy either and this itself can stoke up dark feelings. Others’ energy suddenly showing up, uninvited, in your energy field can feel invasive and claustrophobic. The energy you pick up does not have to be negative to stir up negativity; being unsolicited is enough to ignite unpleasant feelings. (This post may help you when out in public.)

So how can you tell when an emotion does not belong to you? The easiest and quickest way to make this determination is to speak to the emotions directly:

When you initially sense any type of overpowering emotion say to yourself: if these emotions are not mine, leave me now!

If the feelings do not belong to you, they will promptly start to lose their grip. You will experience a definite shift in the way you feel. It may be subtle but you will feel a change. When you notice this subsidence distract yourself, immediately.

Why?

Because negative emotions are powerful. If you don’t take your focus off them they will return. Unpleasant emotions engage unpleasant repetitive thoughts and once your thoughts get wrapped up in the emotions, belonging to others, there is no getting away from them.

Here’s a quick check list to help determine whose emotion you are in:

  • Were you feeling happy then within seconds of being in the company of another you felt sad, anxious or angry?
  • Do you suddenly find yourself caught up in feelings that are triggering long-forgotten memories?
  • Did your mind suddenly become scrambled and your thoughts become foggy?
  • Are you suddenly feeling uninspired or lethargic?
  • Do you feel like you are experiencing psychic attack?
  • Are you experiencing waves of bitterness, anger or irritability (when you don’t normally carry those traits)?
  • Does the area around your solar plexus feel fluttery, heavy or uncomfortable?
  • Are you feeling fearful with no real reason?

If you answer yes to any of the above it could be an indicator that you are experiencing someone else’s energy and emotions.

The Fear Belonging to Others

It is important to recognize if a fear belongs to you. Just like picking up emotions, the Empath can pick up other people’s irrational fears and take them on as their own. Feeling fear is not always a bad thing, it is often a protecting force, but if it belongs to another it may unnecessarily hold you back in life.

Fear is a powerfully controlling emotion. Because it is so potent, it can be debilitating. Even when it belongs to another.

Fear belonging to someone else, feels much the same as your own. If in doubt to whom the fear belongs, use the same technique as above and make the following statement: If this fear is not mine, leave me now! Say it out loud or in your head. If it is not yours, the fear will start to shift.

Another quick way to discern between your fear (or other type of emotion) and another’s, is to check if you had it before being in their company. For example: You may be going on holiday with a friend who has a secret fear of flying. You are super-excited about the trip, that is until you sit next to your friend on the plane. She hates flying and is terrified but is trying hard not show it. When seated, you suddenly experience a wave of panic wash over you. You don’t question if it’s anyone else’s fear because it seems so real. And, because your friend has not expressed to you, her fear of flying, you don’t suspect it is coming from her. You now think of nothing else but this prevailing wave of fear that is stirring up floods of panic within. It wipes away the joy and excitement, you previously felt, as you become traumatized by the panic. You then may convince yourself you are scared of flying.

You do not have to be connected to a person to feel, and take on, their fear. All it takes is for you to be connected to their energy. If you didn’t have fear about a situation, or event, before being in the company of another, you have to consider that the fear may not belong to you.

Fear creates negative emotions: Negative emotions create lasting memories. If someone or something caused an intense fear, every time you are with them, or in a similar situation, the memory of the emotion will be reignited. This is why it is important to distinguish whose emotion you are in.

The above is a snippet from the book 7 Secrets of the Sensitive.

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time,

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

 

 

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Why Empaths are Hurt by Criticism and how to Prevent it Impacting Your Life

There is no escaping this simple fact of life, the majority of Empaths are easily hurt by the criticisms and judgements of others. In some cases, so much so, that it may prevent them from taking any creative risks in life.

Yes, the pain of criticism holds many of us back, for the simple reason it is human nature to avoid anything which causes pain.

But as the old saying goes: ‘The only way to avoid criticism is to say nothing, do nothing and be nothing’. And I doubt there are many Empaths who want to go through life doing nothing.

As a blogger, an author and an ‘active poster on Facebook’, I have come across my fair share of criticism. Some of it being quite harsh. And, I will not lie, it does not feel good.

I have often questioned why is it that I feel so disconcerted when someone insults me or criticises my work and the best answer I can come up with is because I care.

It is not that I am so much concerned about being ‘disliked’, but more that I don’t want to cause insult or feel I have hurt or offended another by my offerings or opinions. I also get a little rattled when someone has misread my intentions or made wrong assumptions about me or my work.

That said, I also know criticism can be a great learning tool. Especially in regard to anything work-related or creative. We are often too close to our own work to see where things could be improved. An honest, constructively critical eye can help us see what we were previously blinded to. But, sadly, there are too many people who are insulting in their criticism. Instead of using a critique as a way to help another, some deliver it in such a way that is belittling or cutting Continue reading

Do Introvert Ways Hold You Back in life?

If you are an Empath chances are you will also be an introvert. But even if you consider yourself to be extrovert, you may also carry many introvert tendencies.

The fact is, introversion is something that tends to go hand-in-hand with an Empath’s journey. Even if you started life exhibiting more extrovert ways, the way the world makes an Empath ‘feel’ can trigger or build introvert leanings such as: a regular need for solitude, not enjoying spending time around people, experiencing social aggravation when around crowds, etc.

Did you know that nearly 75% of the world are extroverts? So, if you consider yourself to be introvert you are a minority.

Many introvert Empaths, or those who sit in between the spectrum of introvert and extrovert as an ambivert, often feel that some of their introvert ways hold them back in life.

Generally speaking, most Empaths go through a stage of excessive introversion at some point in their life, especially around times of awakening, spiritual development or major life transitions (extreme introversion can also be a sign of major imbalance or even nutrition deficiency please see this post for more information), it tends to be part of their journey of evolvement. Introvert ways also become more apparent with age.

But having introvert traits, in this extrovert-driven world, often brings challenges and hurdles to overcome. So much so, it can leave many Empaths feeling out of place, as though they’ve been dumped into a world where the rules have been written for everyone else. It’s a world where fitting in with social expectations often means living a lie.

There is so much pressure to exhibit extrovert ways, both in the workplace and in social situations, that means many introverts are having to ‘fake it’ in order to ‘fit in’. But, if there’s one thing an Empath dislikes its having to pretend (unless they’re actors up on stage) or act in a way that does not represent their truth. They do not like to conform and they do not like having to live a lie by changing their true behaviour to appease others.

Many introvert Empaths prefer not to be the centre of attention and often dislike networking, small talk and fake friendliness. But as this is an expected way to progress in the modern world it can leave a number of Empaths at odds with themselves.

Some may believe their lack of social skills is down to shyness, but there is a considerable difference between being shy and being introvert.

Although some introverts can be shy, that is not always the reason they do not like excess social interaction. Shyness is born from a fear: a fear of judgement or social rejection and experiencing social anxiety when interacting with others. An introvert can happily engage others in conversation (when not drained or overwhelmed) at social events, they just don’t like having the pressure to do so if it’s not what they want. They prefer to observe a room rather than work it. And as an Empath can become easily overwhelmed by the dichotomy of energies produced by large groups, social engagements can be a thing of dread. Continue reading

How do You Know if You are an Empath or Simply Sensitive?

Do you often struggle to know where you fit in or wonder whether you are an Empath or not?

Over the years, I have often been asked the question: ‘How do I know for sure if I’m an Empath?’

My answer always tends to be the same: Generally, if you’re an Empath when you discover the term and the traits it encompasses you just know whether it applies to you or not. It is like a light bulb moment. You finally have an explanation for all that you feel and have experienced throughout your life… But, there are always exceptions.

In this post we will look at two traits that truly define an Empath.

What does it matter?

Although I don’t like to get too caught up in labels, I do think knowing and understanding who you are can help you on your journey. Also, knowing your defining traits can help you find balance in life. There is also the fact to consider that what might help an Empath, might not help the sensitive person. For example: dealing with emotional pain you are picking up from another is different to dealing with emotional pain caused by past trauma.

Ultimately, we all want to live the best life we can. We want to be happy and find stability and we want to leave these bodies in the hopes we did little harm. Knowing who we are and what strengthens or weakens us can help us achieve this.

The reason I think some sensitive people get confused over whether they are an Empath is because they feel things so strongly and share many of the Empath traits. But there are two traits that sets the Empath apart:

  • An ability to feel/read the emotional energy of others.
  • Heightened empathy.

Feeling emotions and the energy of other people

The chief trait of an Empath is feeling other people’s emotions, moods, buried pain and energy, but they also have incredible emotional intelligence and empathy for others, even if they don’t actually like spending time with people.

We will now look at how these traits work:

As already noted, when an Empath discovers the term, it is the moment their life makes sense. Everything they have experienced finally has a reason. But still, there are many more layers to uncover…

If you have spent a lifetime feeling the emotional energy of others, without realising, it may take a while to differentiate these emotions from your own.

As humans, we are very good at hiding our true feelings and just because someone has a smile on their face, does not mean they are not experiencing emotional pain. But an Empath will always feel what another doesn’t show.

There are a number of ways in which you may experience another’s emotional energy:

  • You might suddenly feel insecure when in their presence (if they have low self-esteem, worry what others think or have social hang-ups).
  • You may experience waves of sadness or you may want to burst into tears (if the other is grieving or emotionally low).
  • You could suddenly fill with rage or annoyance or get stabbing pains around certain chakras (the other has hidden anger).
  • You sense a heaviness around the pit of your stomach (they have buried issues they refuse to deal with).
  • You might feel anxious or constricted around the chest, you could also experience palpitations (often happens when there is a clash of energy).
  • You start to act differently or take on their personality traits, especially if they have a dominant personality. (Read more about this here).

There are many other ways an Empath will interpret the emotional energy of others. They can even pick up others’ emotions and thoughts when not in their presence (read more about this here), especially if they are directed at them.

Heightened empathy

This trait is a very obvious, but not much talked about, way of an Empath. But nevertheless, heightened empathy is a prominent trait and a very big part of Empath life, which goes hand in hand with emotional intelligence.

Because an Empath knows how it feels to be hurt by another’s words or actions, they will go out of their way not to do it to themselves (but Empaths are still humans. They can still suffer anger or may occasionally lash out when they are in pain).

Empaths often consider how their words or actions may be interpreted and will be careful not to cause offence. They are often so conscious of not intentionally hurting another—either through the written or verbal word (criticism, belittlement, etc.), or through their actions or behaviour—that they are wary of what they share so as not to offend or hurt others… Which has to be said, is near impossible in a world of varying opinions and beliefs.

Again, we are all human and we can still unintentionally do or say something that offends or upsets. But if an Empath realises they have done or said something which hurts another it will eat them up for days, weeks, months and even years.

An Empath experiences incredible pain if they see others (human or animal) suffer. Even seeing suffering from afar can leave the Empath near heartbroken.

They also hate to let others down. For example: they might go out, on a social event, even though they feel ill, overwhelmed or fatigued, so as not to risk hurting anyone’s feelings.

I am by no means suggesting that a sensitive person does not have empathy or emotional intelligence. What I am saying is, in an Empath it is incredibly heightened. So much so, it can take them a long time to understand why others don’t have the same level of consideration.

(If you know that you are an Empath but your empathy has all but gone out of the window, after a lifetime of let-downs, there’s a good chance you could be quite out of balance. You may find the following posts beneficial: here, here, here, and here.)

Intuition

I was also going to add heightened intuition to the traits that truly define an Empath. But as someone can be intuitively savvy and have an ability to read someone, but not be an Empath, I decided against it. That said, it is still a defining trait, which most Empaths use to navigate through life.

All humans have intuitive senses, just as they also have the ability to sense energy in others and feel an atmosphere. In Empaths, however, these traits are incredibly heightened.

So, there you go. If you were not sure if being an Empath applies to you, I hope this helps you decide. Or if you are an Empath, helps you understand your traits a little better.

Until next time…

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

 

 

 

The Controlling Force of Emotions

Continuing on from my last post, where I discussed how being in jobs that do not feel like a fit can lead to depression, as can feeling directionless or out of control in one’s life. Today, I want to further address the subject of feeling a power imbalance as an Empath and a need to control what we feel.

When out of balance or out of control, as an Empath, many of our emotional sensations are amplified. We become oversensitive to everyday life situations and get hurt easily. We may suffer more with depression and are open to attract depressive moods from others (like attracts like).

In my post: Why do Empaths have Such a Strong Sense of Belonging, I made reference to Empaths knowing when something is wrong in their surroundings, even if they don’t know exactly what it is. The fact that so few people have control over their lives makes for a lot of unhappy people. Empaths pick up on the collective sense of dissatisfaction in the populace, which can bring them down. This can then also hold them back from their own forwards momentum.

As Empaths, we get down when it seems like we have no control of the way we feel. Which is understandable. Getting bombarded with the emotional energy of others (on top of our own emotions) is no fun and it can certainly influence the way we operate as humans and Empaths.

What we pick up from others can shape our life, especially if we are not aware the emotional energy we are experiencing does not belong to us. (If you struggle with defining the emotional energy of others read this.)

But other people’s energy is not the only thing that can lead to emotional instability and a sense of ‘no life-control’. Continue reading

Finding Purpose as an Empath and Being in Control

Last month, I happened across a great piece in The Guardian about depression and mental health, that really struck a chord with me.

Basically, the article said that depression is not about chemical imbalances—as it has been touted by the scientific and medical communities for many years—but more about power imbalances and a lack of control. (Even though it was not written with the Empath in mind, I recommend that you read it. It’s quite enlightening.) Here is a link to the article:

Most Empaths and Sensitives are prone to having bouts of depression and or depressive moods. Although we can often link these gloomy periods to spending time with overly negative people, being around those who act as trauma triggers, or eating unsuitable foods, etc. but power imbalances, and a lack of life-control is something we should also consider.

A lack of control being linked to depression makes total sense. Not having power in one’s life also equates to feelings of helplessness and the sense of walking aimlessly. When we feel we are not in control of our life, and have no direction it might also be said that we have no purpose.

Everyone needs purpose. To have a reason to get up in the morning to do something not only that we enjoy but that we know we are good at. But how many people can make that claim? Not many. Most are stuck in jobs not for the joy or purpose it gives them, but for the pay-check.

Anyone who is creative and/or intelligent (and I don’t just mean educated) are naturally inclined to want to be in control of their destiny and have a reason for being. Granted, some think they would prefer others to make their decisions for them—often born from having a fear of making the wrong decision or a lack of belief in self—but someone else controlling our life or purpose will never bring happiness.

Over 80% of the workforce are unfulfilled and unhappy in their work. That’s a lot of people.

If we consider a lot of people went into professions chosen by their parents, or they chose their careers before they got to know who they were, it makes total sense. After all, who knows at sixteen what they will want to do for the rest of their lives. Not many people. We change so much from when in our teenage years to when we are in our thirties. This, I believe, is a reason that so many people find themselves unhappy in their work in later life. They didn’t choose their vocation or they chose too young.

The lack of life-control in society means we end up living in conflict. Inside, we want to do something that feels meaningful and gives us purpose. In reality, many are stuck working to pay for mortgages, bills and children, and to fund a lifestyle.

What we are told will make us happy rarely does because one size does not fit all. People feel like they are not in control.

I often refer to myself as being a ‘quiet control freak’. And that is not because I secretly want to rule others or be on some kind of ‘power trip’ with them. It’s because I want to be in control of my life… at least as much as I can. I realise we can’t control everything. But I do want to control what I do, where I go and how my time is used, I also want to be in control of whose energy I’m in. So, I tend to have a problem if others try to control me or if their energy is overbearing. The ‘quiet’ comes in because instead of being argumentative or objectionable, with those who force control, I quietly back away.

Having a desire to control one’s own life is not a bad thing. We are at the helm of our own ships and it is up to us to set our own course and destination. We should be able to do this when we are ready to do so (which is rarely at the age we are expected).

Not being in control can seem like a form of imprisonment, as can feeling forced to do work we have no passion for or interest in. That is not freedom. Humans are supposed to have freewill. We also need to know we have choices, even if we don’t choose to use them.

Too often Sensitive people are made to feel small and insignificant by those who enjoy undermining others. In our bid to overcome this we may search for positions of power or wealth in the belief they will make us whole or worthy. Alas, this is often not the case. Even if we achieve great status, power and vast material wealth, if we do not feel in control or if we are not following our true calling a void remains inside.

The article I linked to above, an extract from Johann Hari’s book: ‘Lost Connections’, suggests that the depression most experience is caused by our inner-self trying to raise our awareness that we are off-course. ‘It’s telling us that our natural psychological needs are not being met and it is a form of grief.’ Which I totally agree with.

We need to listen to our emotional signals and this is something I write a lot about:

By listening to our gut’s promptings and intuition it can save us unnecessary heartache. As an Empath, however, defining these signals is a challenge. Because we feel everything so powerfully, it is difficult to discern the trigger of our own emotions, and those that belong to others.  But, speaking from experience, this is something we can all learn to overcome.

In the past, I have had times when I suffered with mild depression or experienced low moods, both of which pushed me to find the cause and make necessary changes to my life. Nowadays, if I experience a gloomy mood, I can link it back to either eating a food I shouldn’t (normally containing high levels of lectins), having spent too much time in peopled places or around excess negativity (or there’s been intense shifts in energy). Because I have learnt to interpret my own signals and triggers, I try to follow what is right for me. There is nothing worse than experiencing low moods unnecessarily.

If we are constantly down or depressed, these are our inner-messages telling us something is not right either with the path we are walking or the way we are living our lives.

If you regularly read my posts, you may already know I am a great believer that bad things happen for good reasons. We just don’t see it at the time. Depression can be a call for change, our change. But we have to question the feelings we experience and find the root cause. Which will be different for everyone.

We need to focus on taking back our power and that starts with getting in control of what we can.

To live happily as Empaths, staying in control is something we must work on daily, otherwise the world, and the way it makes us feel, will swallow us up.

Because this is a vast subject and an area many Empaths struggle with, I will continue the theme in my next post. But if you want to look at ways to take back control here are some posts that may help you on your way.

Are You Leaking Energy?

What is an Empath’s Purpose?

Transform Your Empath Life with This One Thing

An Empath’s Guide

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time.

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

A Guide to Surviving Christmas for the Empath

As I was nosing through some of my old posts, I came across one I posted two Christmases ago (read it here). It made me smile because I remembered how much I disliked the month of December and how bad I always felt when it came to the ‘Silly Season’.

But this year, I have loved every minute of the month. I have loved the cold, damp darkness and wrapping up in warm winter woollies. I have admired the twinkling lights dangling from the trees and houses in the neighbourhood and I have loved socializing and getting together with friends.

Although I still choose not to participate in the ‘material side’ of Christmas, I am now able to enjoy the month without being taken down by the ‘crazy energy’ it produces. And I know this change is due to the fact I continue to work on myself, as an Empath, and I am always finding new ways to overcome the many obstacles life throws us.

However, I know how challenging life can be for the Empath at Christmas. It can be overwhelming, draining and difficult. And, for that reason, I am sharing extracts from the ‘Surviving Christmas‘ post because the techniques still remain beneficial and are good to help one find balance.

Surviving Christmas

Daily Grounding

Most Empaths have a daily grounding ritual, but to stay out of the ‘Christmas stress’ we need to add something extra to it… childlike positivity.

Adopting childlike excitement into your energy can help protect you from the stress energy of others.

We have a choice where our energy and focus goes. Consciously choosing the right focal point is essential to keeping our energy in the right place.

You only have to cast your mind back to childhood to remember how explosively exciting Christmas was. So, instead of tuning into people’s stress energy, focus your awareness on a child’s exhilaration and it will help keep you uplifted and energised.

Carry Haematite or Other Protective Stones

Haematite is both grounding and mirroring, and it will help protect you when in busy, stressed places (basically everywhere over the festive period).

Keeping a piece with you at all times is a good way to shield yourself from unwanted energy. If you want to learn more about the benefits of Haematite for the Empath see this post.

Eat Lots of Bright Coloured Food

Oranges, lemons and limes, red apples, blueberries and bananas, for example, will help keep you protected and healthy over the silly season.

Christmas contributes to bad eating. Party food and alcohol carry little in the way of nutrients, and if we pick up lots of stress energy the immune system will be compromised.

By eating lots of lovely bright coloured foods it ensures you get lots of vitamins and enzymes which wards off colds and builds your resilience towards stress-related illness.

When we eat brightly coloured food, in the form of delicious fruit and veg, we reap many benefits.

Also whether we gaze upon it of consume it, colour raises one’s mood and vibration and that is always going to be super beneficial at this time of year.

Shake it Off

If you get overwhelmed by too much stress energy a brilliant way to get rid of it is by shaking it off.

Start by giving each leg a good shake, shake your bum and your torso, shake your arms and hands, blubber through your lips and wobble your cheeks, run your hands through your hair and give the scalp a good shake (I do not recommend shaking the head as tension is often held in the neck).

Shaking works even better if you can do it in water and/or with some uplifting funky music.

The shaking method also works great if you pick up on any anger energy.

Eat Chocolate

Eating moderate amounts of chocolate is a perfect, and delicious, way for an Empath to ground and recharge.

Many Empaths are naturally drawn to chocolate, their inner-knowing already knows of its benefits. However, not all chocolate is created equal, the darker the chocolate the better and if it is organic, perfect!

Opt for minimum 70% cocoa when choosing your chocolate fix.

Dark chocolate is super healthy as long as it in not loaded with unrefined sugar.

White refined sugar is inflammatory. It causes excess cortisol to be released into the body which then heightens uncomfortable emotions and stress for the Empath (click here to learn more). So try to avoid it.

Practice Gratitude

Christmas can cause overwhelm for an Empath and put them in a negative mindset, but by practising gratitude it can raise the spirits like nothing else.

Being grateful for what you already have in your life will bring in more things to be thankful for. Or, if you don’t feel like you have much to be grateful for, be grateful for the amazing things that are coming your way.

You will be amazed at just how uplifting this is. It also works like chocolate and floods your system with feel good hormones.

Here are some more posts that will help the Empath with Xmas stress

If you need to relax this post will help:  Incredible Relaxation Technique for the Empath

If you pick up on other people’s stress energy and emotions cast your eyes over this: Protection for the Empath

And if you spend time around overly negative people you need to read this: Reasons to Avoid Negative People

I would also like to take this opportunity to wish you all the very best this festive season and I hope and wish you all the most amazing 2018.

Wishing you all much love, happiness and festive fun.

Diane

©Diane Kathrine.

 

The Disconnected Empath

If you are one of the many Empaths who feel disconnected from others or from life itself, know that you are not alone.

We don’t always realize it, but life is a series of linked events; each one leading to the next, like the spots on a dot-to-dot puzzle. Yet, most are unaware that the seemingly random occurrences of life and a feeling of ‘disconnect’ are in any way pivotal to the course of our destiny…

Because our mind is kept so busy trying to make sense of life’s conundrums,  we are often kept from connecting the dots on our unique and mysterious life puzzle.

Our Empath sensitivities and busy or stressed mind may also prevent us from seeing how amazing our lives really are and how this ‘disconnectedness’ often serves a purpose.

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The majority of us work hard trying to figure out life. We may wonder where our true purpose lies or we may constantly find ourselves looking at ways to fit into this crazy old world. We often wonder if we are on the ‘right path’.

Sadly, much of our present life is missed because we are stuck focused on negative issues or our mind skips off into the future searching for ways to find the path to happiness

We are led to believe our happiness lies only in our successes and material gains. And because of that we tend to think future goals will bring us our deserved and long sought after happiness, and help us feel like we belong. It is as though our happiness lies only in the future or in tomorrow’s achievements…

But how many of our accomplishments came and went without being enjoyed or celebrated…?

Probably not as many as they should.

Was that because they did not bring with them the feelings of completion or fulfilment we expected? And why didn’t following ‘the rules everyone else follows’ take us to the expected place? Why do we still feel so disconnected from the rest of society?

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Why do so many Empaths feel disconnected or dissatisfied?

It may certainly seem that the Empath is destined to got through life feeling off-course, unfulfilled, overwhelmed, or that happiness is a destiny that belongs to someone else…

But I know, for a fact, that does not have to be the case.

Yes, there are many things that come with being an Empath that make life difficult: getting hurt easily, feeling other’s emotional pain and often being a beacon for negativity, being but a few. Yet all the difficulties we endured have built an incredible resilience and strengthened us in ways we cannot begin to imagine. They are part of our unique path.

It is easy to forget that we came here for a reason – to experience life as an Empath and the many challenges that go with it – because we get so distracted by the challenges thrown our way.

Empath life is often strenuous, painful, overly emotional, sometimes lonely and often comes with a huge sense of disconnect from others. Which is ironic considering we feel the energy of others so powerfully.

But, when we allow ourselves to see it, Empath life is also enlightening, invigorating, electrically charged and a true gift

As an Empath we can boast of life experiences few can expect to have. We feel things others don’t and we have a strong sense of intuition that will take us to all the right places, if we believe in it.

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Sometimes, we purposely make life more difficult for ourselves, without realizing. And sometimes we allow ourselves to wallow in self-pity or we get stuck in victim mentality. We may also subconsciously choose to ignore what we need to do to keep us safe and sane on our journey … but the keys to our happiness and ‘reconnection’ are always there for us to find, when we are ready.

And we don’t have to wait, we can choose today to make life changes. A shift in our perspective and a desire to change is all it takes to set the ball rolling.

Sadly, when our minds are stuck in past traumas or in future worries we won’t see or appreciate the incredible moments as they unfold.

Feeling disconnected or isolated from life is often a call from our soul, it is like a nudge to say we are not following our true calling, or that we are out of balance and need to make changes (out of balance Empaths will always feel disconnected see more here).

As an Empath, it is easy to see dark or challenging times as punishments but when we come through the other side we always find an incredible gift inside the experience.

The experiences we have as Empaths really are unique, and every difficulty we have endured and overcome has catapulted us forward, shaping the course of our life. Everything we have experienced has brought us to where we are now.

When we connect the dots of our past we  see a bigger picture emerge. Everything happens for a reason. If you feel disconnected from life you will eventually get to see the reason for it. The disconnection will shape and change you and push you towards the evolvement that is right for you.

Listen to your soul, tune into your intuition and don’t be afraid to make the changes you know that will reconnect you to your truth, purpose and happiness.

You may also find this post helpful: Why do Empaths have such a strong sense of not belonging?

Hope this helps on your journey… books for empath

Until next time.

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine

Why it’s Difficult to Explain Who You Are as An Empath

A question that often comes up on my blog, and on Facebook, is how to better explain to others who we are as Empaths. Although I have written about the subject in the past, I feel it’s a good time to revisit the topic because it can be such a frustrating part of Empath life.

When we awaken to our Empath ways everything we’ve experienced emotionally and physically, when around people, finally makes sense. We understand our need for time alone, why we feel such crazy energy when in busy places, and why we experience such overpowering emotions when with certain people. We come to accept our ‘inner knowing’ as the incredible guiding force it is and stop fighting or ignoring the intuition that comes with it.

We often become so excited by our newfound knowledge that we want to tell the world. We have an explanation for all the inexplicable things we’ve experienced, throughout life, and we now know we are not the only ones. However, we quickly come to discover that discussing the ways of an Empath is no easy feat. Learning who we are, it would seem, was the easy part of the journey.

Oh, we may try to explain what we now know about our traits to others. The reasoning behind our Empath ways is so simple, why wouldn’t anyone else understand? But when we try to describe ourselves it doesn’t always go the way we hoped. And when we see others struggling to comprehend our explanations it causes us more frustration. We may then try to overexplain ourselves, struggling to find the key words to convince the other of our validity. Yet the more details we give the more discouraged we become. Sadly, the reason people don’t hear is not just because they don’t understand but because, too often, their ears are closed to the subject.

Although we like to believe we live in a world of free speech, opinion and thought it is clearly not the case (although, I believe it is changing for the better. Tends to get worse before better). We regularly see those who don’t follow the herd, or agree with the majority, attacked or ridiculed. So, it is hardly surprising some Empaths fear talking openly about who they are. People can be very closed-minded as well as fearful of acknowledging the minority. And it doesn’t help that the greatest prisons we live in is the fear of what others think of us. (Read why Empaths are hurt by criticism here).

If you’ve been an awakened Empath for some years you will no doubt already know that explaining to others, about who we are and what we feel, can be a gruesomely tricky area. Most Empaths quickly come to realize that the subject of being ‘Sensitive’ to energy and the emotions of others is just too ‘out there’ for some to consider.

The distinct lack of interest, shown by those closest to us, may come as a surprise to the newly awakened Empath. But the longer you walk this weird and wonderful path the more sense it makes. For one thing, we often do not know our friends as well as we’d like to think we do. And just because we are ready to accept who we are does not mean they are.

Although it may be difficult to admit, not all friends, or family members, have our best interests at heart. Everyone has faces they show the world and in friendships it is no different. Some friends cover up unpleasant traits, for their own reasons, but when faced with certain revelations—perhaps when we explain ourself as an Empath—their true colours are often shown. Even if they don’t verbalise their dismay, at our disclosures, we always sense a lack of acceptance or a quiet rejection, even at it’s most subtle. Continue reading

Have You Been Affected by The Eclipse?

Whilst writing a post about ways to explain yourself, as an Empath, I had an overwhelming feeling that I should make a side note about the strange sensations some of you may have endured for the past month, since the solar eclipse in the USA. So, what started off as a few lines about the strange aftereffects quickly grew into several paragraphs and, for that reason, I have decided to put this out as a mini post on its own—with the originally intended post to follow in due course.

I don’t tend to write much about the effects of earth energies or solar phenomena, because there are many others far better versed on the subject than I. But, as the aftershocks of last month’s solar eclipse (which is still ongoing) has left many Sensitive folk reeling, I thought it a good idea to mention some of the symptoms you may have undergone… in case any of you are thinking you are going slightly cuckoo.

So here goes: Last month’s solar eclipse has bought up some intense emotions in people and may have also triggered waves of lethargy and a lack of inclination towards doing anything—especially usual routines.

If you have experienced unusual fatigue and a ‘can’t be bothered’ attitude towards most things, since the eclipse, it is probably a good idea to give into it and allow yourself to rest as much as possible. Put off what you don’t need to do and allow yourself guilt-free respite.  Continue reading

Ever Wondered Why You Continue to Suffer as an Empath?

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Have you tried all types of grounding or protective techniques, as an Empath, and find nothing works? Or have you found you are more negatively affected when spending time around people than you ever have been?

Have you considered the possibility that you may be suffering with leaky aura syndrome?

Most Empaths come to realize they have a leaky aura when they experience near-constant exhaustion, after spending time around people. The grounding and protection techniques, they try, don’t make any difference to how they feel or experience energy, they become overly sensitive and struggle to enjoy life.

Anyone whose auric field is congested, particularly with negative energy, may eventually develop auric permeability. But it is not just negative energy that can cause leaky aura syndrome: the biggest contributors are excessive stress, emotional pain, poor lifestyle choices, bad people, toxic environments and food.

After a lifetime of being Sensitive, and the challenges that go with it, the Empath’s body becomes less resilient (especially evident after the age of thirty). A weakened body weakens the energy field and is a major contributor to leaky aura syndrome.

The auric field is affected by your thoughts, feelings, actions and words. And because of the law of attraction, depending on the way you think and feel will determine what you draw into your life.

If as an Empath you have leaky aura syndrome, and are unaware of it, you have little control over what you attract. You will struggle to protect yourself from the low-level vibrations in your environment; they seep into your energy field even when you work to stop them. You then vibrate at this same frequency, drawing in more of the same. Continue reading

Should the Empath Become Vegetarian?

There is much debate within the Empath world as to whether meat should be consumed. Many Empaths find themselves naturally drawn to vegetarianism, even from a young age. Some even become strict vegans, others may eat only chicken or fish. 

However, as each Empath is affected differently by their consumption of meat, chicken and fish it is a choice they have to make for themselves as to whether they consume.

The majority of Empaths will question their meat intake at some point on their journey, even if they like the taste. And this often comes down to their love and respect for nature and the animal kingdom, as well as the fact that consuming animals just feels  wrong.

It has to be said, we live in a barbaric world where animals eat animals, fish eat fish, and insects eat insects to survive… and yes, humans eat animals (and, in some rare cases, other humans). But these days more people, and not just the Sensitive, are choosing to stop eating meat because of the way animals are treated.

It is not just because of their love of animals that turns the Empaths away from eating meat, whether they realize this or not, it’s often because they feel the energy of an animal when they eat its meat.

Some are so Sensitive that they can even feel the energy of an egg and will avoid eating them too.

If an animal suffered or felt much fear before being slaughtered, it can cause depression and low emotions in the Empath who consumes its meat. The bigger the animal the more this energy is felt.

These emotions are normally experienced soon after consumption, within minutes or hours. One may feel weepy, sorrowful, irritation or experience waves of anger. You may even find yourself more sensitive to the energy of your surroundings.

That said, some are little affected. It really depends on one’s level of Sensitivity and the type of animal produce. For example: some Empaths may eat chicken or fish and feel no ill-effects, but if they eat meat, derived from a cow or pig, it greatly affects their moods.

It is probably safe to say, should you develop low emotions soon after eating meat, avoidance may be the best option for you as an Empath.

I eat chicken and fish, and very little meat. I would prefer to be vegetarian, and for some time I was, but it didn’t suit my health. I have an autoimmune disorder and a leaky gut, which I can control through my diet. I find most vegetarian proteins cause a negative bodily reaction (even avocados). And because of the environment I live in, I tend to stay overly responsive.

Leaky gut and autoimmune disease are conditions common among Sensitive people. After experiencing a lifetime’s worth of heightened emotions and sensitivities, the gut, which is the area of the seat of emotions, weakens. Couple that with the amount of chemicals in our atmosphere and diet, and the foods that have been genetically altered, makes us vulnerable to developing physical and energetic weaknesses.

[In brief, if you suffer with a leaky gut, the lectins in many vegetarian foods trigger a reaction that allows food particles, that should stay inside the gut, to leak out into the body. This causes an immune response. When this happens regularly it eventually leads to an autoimmune disease, where the immune system attacks the organs and glands. For the Empath, this opens another can of worms, igniting unbalanced chakras and a leaky aura.]

Should you choose to eat meat, fish, chicken or even dairy products, as an Empath, you are best eating the finest quality organic, pasture-raised produce. Not only because the animals will have been better looked after but because of the amount of chemicals pumped into most livestock.

Over 80% of all produced antibiotics are given to livestock. And up to 20 different medications and vast quantities of hormones could be present in non-organic meat and dairy. The antibiotics and hormones found within animal produce are causing humans many health problems. They are known to be endocrine disruptors. And anything which is an endocrine disruptor upsets the balance of hormones within the body. This in turn disrupts the health of the chakras and weakens the auric field (meaning you pick up more energy from others).

So, as already noted, should you choose to eat animal produce it is probably best to consume the finest quality.  

The last thing you want, as an Empath, is  your diet to destabilize your aura and debilitate your chakras (You may want to read this post on how unbalanced chakras can weaken the Empath). Empath life already comes with enough hurdles as it is.

For more posts on how diet affects Empath health click here here, and here.

Hope this helps on your journey.

Stay happy and healthy.

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

What is the Real Connection Between an Empath and a Narcissist?

When I started writing for the Empath, back in 2011, there was very little material available on the subject, and this is what drove my compilation of  the ‘Traits of an Empath’. I wanted to help other Empaths understand who they were and discover why they felt all they did. I also wanted to share what had helped me.

It doesn’t seem so long ago that the word ‘Empath’ was a rarely mentioned term. But we can see how that’s changed in recent years. Thousands, if not millions, have discovered who they are as Empaths with all the information now available.

However, with this Empath uprising there also seems to have been an upsurge with the ‘dark side of sensitive’. This can be observed with the rise of the narcissist and those encompassing narcissistic traits.

What Makes a Narcissist?

Although the term narcissism originally stemmed from having extreme vanity, today it represents so much more:

The definition of a narcissist is: a psychological condition characterised by self-preoccupation, high self-esteem, a distinct lack of empathy, excessive self-admiration and a tendency towards selfish or resentful behaviours. But there are many more dark traits associated with this type of disposition such as: one-sidedness, a manipulative nature, unrealistic expectations of others, excess need for control, and a huge sympathy deficiency. In some cases, the traits of a narcissist match up with a psychopath.

The Empath Connection

Where you find an Empath, you often find a narcissist nearby… or at least those who display several narcissistic tendencies.

In fact, if an Empath takes a look into their past they normally see a pattern of people displaying the above traits appearing throughout their lives.

There are some who would argue that an Empath and narcissist are two sides of the same coin. And although I certainly agree they both have heightened levels of sensitivity they are expressed in opposite ways.

An Empath’s sensitive side may breed and feed their emotional pain but it also contributes to their consideration, compassion, and abundance of empathy.

The narcissist’s sensitive side also contributes to their inner-pain but, in many cases, their wounds bred bitter, resentful and vengeful tendencies.

And when a narcissist is offended, it is often the result of a wounded ego as opposed to a pained soul — as in the Empath’s case. Continue reading

The Destructive Impact the Media has on an Empath

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As an Empath, do you feel flat, depressed or outraged after reading newspapers or online media? Do you find your emotions being triggered? Or does your mind become frazzled after spending time on online news outlets?

If you answered yes, you’re not alone. Many Empaths find themselves impacted by the streams of negativity filtered out by the media (so much so, many have to avoid them). You’ll probably agree, that in recent times it seems to be getting worse!

These days, there seems to be a never-ending stream of anxiety-inducing stories pumped out by the world’s news outlets, that only serve in causing separation, insecurity, unhappiness or hate.

As an Empath, whether you pay attention to the propaganda stirred up by the media or not, you may still be affected by the emotional energy it produces. At times, the energy of which is overwhelming.

We all know the fear mongering, used by the media, is often a tactic used to keep people controlled, distracted and divided. There is rarely any information shared that is uplifting, inspiring or ‘feel good’.

It’s as though people are being distracted from their own power… If you keep everyone preoccupied by political opinions, global disasters, wars and the ‘fabulous lives of the rich and famous’, it keeps them in a low vibrating space.  These types of stories create anger, fear or indirectly tell the world that their lives aren’t good enough or that a life of celebrity is the only way to find happiness and purpose. All of which builds negative energy and conflict!

 

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When conflicts arise, both in the media and out on the streets, a blanket of massively contagious, dark energy is produced. Which when at it’s worse is difficult to avoid, no matter how much you work on staying grounded and protected.

As I mentioned in my last post: negativity generates negativity. Negative emotions are contagious and are subliminally taken on even by those who aren’t Sensitive.

People get swept along by the irrational moods being intentionally perpetuated by the media. They breed and feed.  It is a form of gaslighting.

And because the populace is continuously fed more reasons to become fearful, infuriated or dissatisfied, and very little to feel positive and cheerful about, low-level energy continues to escalate.

So, as an Empath, even if you pay little attention to the media or the propaganda it generates, the murky energy stirred up can still leave you feeling overwhelmed, lost or alone. It can seep into your energy field, even during sleep, and its effects may show up as periods of lethargy, low or erratic moods and a sense of disconnection (especially if you are often around others who feel dissatisfied with life).

As humans, we want to find an explanation for the low moods we experience and as an Empath, it is easy to blame these dark energies on present life circumstances.

I have already written about this subject in recent months. But as it is a continuing theme, I feel it is right to discuss it again because the impact it has on an Empath can be debilitating.

Picking up on dark energy, coming from the masses, is nothing short of exhausting. It is difficult to hide from even with the best intentions.

When affected by ‘global negativity’ it prevents an Empath (and even those not of a Sensitive nature) from uncovering their true power. And if distracted from one’s true power, one cannot find the peace, happiness and balance we are meant for

Part of overcoming the low vibrational energy, constantly being stirred in the world, is to keep mind, body and spirit strong. Eat good food, exercise, meditate, stay grounded and keep clearing your energy field.

Also, if ever there was ever a time to keep your mind empowered now is it. A good way to do this, other than the aforementioned, is by focusing on all your strengths, staying positive and being grateful for the small things.

Look to find your hidden super powers and stay focused on them. Like attracts like.

What we focus our attention on grows. When we embrace our positive inner-power, that power will grow. We then project out this positive vibrant energy out into the world.

Coming Soon: Be sure to keep an eye out for my post on leaky aura syndrome and why it is impacting so many Empaths.

Until next time…

Diane

The following posts may also help:

Clear Your Energy Field: here, here and here

Stay Grounded: here, here and here

Empath Diet and Exercise: here, here and here

 

 

©Diane Kathrine

Earthing: Easy Grounding for the Empath

 

Grounding is essential to keep an Empath… well, grounded. I was reminded of the incredible benefits of grounding after a two-week break in the Caribbean.

Seeing the sunshine, blue skies and beach every day, whilst getting to daydream and binge read book after book would, I thought, be the best parts of the holiday (especially when it’s been nothing but drizzle and dreariness, in the weather department, back home), but there was more…

When I go on holiday I often let my exercise and healthy eating habits slide. But, this time, I was intent on keeping them up. So, the first morning of our arrival we eagerly turned up at the hotel’s gym for our pre-breakfast work-out. To our dismay, we found the gym was small, stuffy and super-busy, with no floor-space to do stretches or yoga. We spent more time waiting for machines than we did working-out. Anyway, not wanting to sound all winey and ungrateful, it turned out to be a big blessing in disguise.

The following morning I suggested to my husband that we work-out on the beach instead of venturing to the gym. He wasn’t too keen on the idea (being a big fan of the treadmill and weights) but went along with it because of the busyness of the gym.

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On the beach, we did a mix of high and low intensity exercise whilst wearing training shoes but when it came to yoga and stretches, it was time to go barefoot. As soon as I kicked off my shoes and grounded my feet into the sand, I felt an incredible calming yet powerful energy surge through me. In an instant I remembered the familiar tranquillity and pureness that comes with connecting to the Earth. (It also helped being able to gaze out over the beautiful sea and watch the palm trees swaying idly on the light, salty breeze.)

The Earth’s powerful healing energy, I now realize, is something I take for granted or forget about, especially whilst my feet are swathed in toasty socks and sturdy rubber-soled shoes.

Grounding with the Earth is also known as Earthing and is a quick powerful way to harness the Earth’s power.

Earthing has gone from being a somewhat ‘woo-woo New Age trend’ to being a well-researched practice with a number of proven beneficial health benefits. From the perspective of being an Empath, I have found Earthing has some of the following positive benefits: Continue reading