Are you a Narcissist Target?

One thing all Empaths will have endured at some point on their journey is a person who behaves in a narcissistic way. For some, however, it is part of their everyday life.

When I use the term narcissist target, in the headline, I am referring to anyone who has been on the receiving end of a narcissist’s attention. This can be via their initial charm through to their lies and manipulation.

But the question has to be, why do Empaths so often end up in the firing line?

One explanation is because of the ‘light’ an Empath carries inside. It’s a light that might be considered, by certain individuals, as a weakness or something that can be controlled. Yet that isn’t the only reason. Before we come to that, we will take a quick peek at the traits of a narcissist.

Traits of a Narcissist

Some of the better-known traits are: high self-esteem, a distinct lack of empathy, excessive self-admiration and a tendency towards selfish or resentful behaviours. But there’s more…

One-sidedness, a manipulative nature, unrealistic expectations of others, an excess need for control, and a huge sympathy deficiency can also fall under the same umbrella. It is these traits that often cause problems for the Empaths.

Why Empaths Attract Narcissists

Over the years, I have discussed the subject of why narcissists attract Empaths and vice versa in other posts and books (here, here, and here). It is my belief that although at opposite ends of the spectrum, both Empaths and narcissists are sensitive people and highly reactive.

Like attracts like. Sensitive attracts sensitive. Yet, one of the biggest reasons why Empaths are so often targeted and end up in the firing line of those with a narcissistic personality is because of their keen observational skills.

The Reflecting Empath

An Empath doesn’t just listen to a person’s dialogue, they observe tone and usage of words, they notice body movements, facial expressions, and they see things that others try to mask. This causes an issue for those who do not want to be ‘seen.’ Particularly when they are hiding something.

A narcissist never wants to be wrong, never wants to be seen as the ‘bad guy’ and wants others to think highly of them. But an Empath often acts like a mirror. Even if they don’t point out the narcissist’s concealed traits verbally, they will be reflected back. (This is discussed more in the Mirror of the Empath.) An Empath reflects truth. They will see it hidden behind any façade, no matter how tightly knitted.

If the finely polished veneer of a narcissist is threatened in any way, especially with exposure, they will attack. They often concoct outlandish stories to discredit an Empath, or anyone who reveals their truth, and blame them for the actions that they carried out themselves. They target those considered a threat.

Generally, a narcissist will not face the truth of who they are, if it makes them appear wrong or in any way a bad person. They convince themselves that it is everyone else who is at fault.

Being Repelled

Even if you have a strong repulsion towards narcissists, and avoid them like the plague, you can still be on the receiving end of their wrath, or end up as a target. Narcissists like to be praised and feel special. They want respect and if they are not shown it, they tend to lash out. If you have bruised a narcissist’s ego, by not giving them the respect they think is deserved, then expect to face a backlash.

The Good News

The good news is that narcissists can work as a catalyst on an Empath’s journey. Although it will not feel like it at the time, but anything that ignites insecurities, emotional injuries, victim mentality or personal challenges, can also push an Empath towards transformation. The darkness reveals the inner light. It encourages us to work on ourselves, which in turn takes us to a higher vantage point.

It is often the case that the more challenges an Empath faces the wiser they become and the greater their understanding of life.

I am certainly not suggesting that constant suffering is the perfect formula for enlightenment, but we come to a point when we understand why we have endured such difficulties. We can then see how they shaped us into becoming better people.

Avoiding Excessive Emotional Reactions

Life really is an obstacle course. It gives rise to many uncomfortable and painful experiences. However, if we have an emotional reaction to everything a narcissist, or anyone else, says or does then we put ourselves on a fast-tracked path to self-destruction.

We have to train ourself out of excessive emotional reactions, avoid wallowing in our own misery and not be tempted into revenge. Not that revenge is ever on an Empath’s radar, but it is very easy to think, ‘I’ll show them.’ Or to have the belief that if I say or do nothing, they are getting away with it. This will just lead to more lies and more attacks. We must not forget there is a greater force than ourselves at work that creates balance… Karma.

KARMA

Having been observing the world for many years, I have seen the law of attraction and karma work over and over. People may seem to get away with treating others atrociously, then, suddenly, karma catches up.

Everything goes around. Karma keeps each of us responsible for our behaviour.

Dealing with the Problem

So, finally, the question is, what can we do about being a narcissist target? Well, one thing is for sure, we will not change the mind of a narcissist, or those who have an over-inflated ego, if it makes them to appear wrong. If they have decided it is us who is at fault, it is unlikely we will get them to admit otherwise. We can only change ourself and our reactions. Take back our power.

The best way to react is with no reaction and don’t be drawn into conflicts designed to pull you down or make you feel bad. Now, when I say react with no reaction, I am not saying lie down and let someone trample all over you. Simply walk away. Avoid feeding your fear or pain by getting upset at the lies they may spread.

When you continuously focus on something or someone your attention feeds the energy. Remember: where your focus goes your energy flows.

Life really is too short to waste your precious time on those who steal your joy and drain your energy.

When you walk away or show no interest in their lies, they move on. The more lives they touch, with manipulative ways, the sooner their truth is revealed.

By avoiding excessive emotional reactions, it also helps keep one’s vibration raised. Yes, I know, easier said than done. But by getting in control of the mind and working to stay grounded, it helps us better control our emotional reactions. (This is where mind-stilling though breathing techniques, meditation and yoga can come in handy.)

Stay in gratitude and it will keep you in a ‘higher space.’ Keep pushing forward! Stay in your light and don’t let anyone extinguish it!

Next time we delve a little deeper into the increase in Empath emotional reactions.

Until next time.

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine

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7 Secrets of the Sensitive

For any of you who may have read my blog for a few years, you may have noticed I am writing much more often than I ever have in the past. The reason for this is because my life has seen many incredible changes and  they are changes that have happened by the changes I have made to my life. It’s time now to pass the information on:

Within ‘7 Secrets of the Sensitive – Harness the Empath’s Hidden Power’ I help you understand why you experience what you do. I show what simple steps you can take to revolutionize your life, take back your power and live the life for which you were destined. As an Empath you deserve an incredible happy life!

If you do happen do purchase a copy I would just like to say a huge thank you and I look forward to it helping transform your Empath life! Click here for more.

7 secrets e-book version

For too long the Empaths have been taken down by an emotionally charged world. Now is the time for that to change!

7 Secrets of the Sensitive reveal the hidden power of an Empath and provide the keys to unlock their true potential.

By the time you have finished reading this book you will gain control of all you feel; you will know how to find happiness, health and emotional stability and you will discover your true life purpose.

Finally you can enjoy the fantastical life you were born to live!

 

Fabulous news! The print version for 7 Secrets of the Sensitive: Harness the Empath’s Hidden Power is now available to order. You can order it here on Amazon or here for Barnes and Noble. You can also order the eBook (saving $12.01 on print price)

Just in case you don’t know what the book is about, here is a little of what you can expect to discover:

  • Why parts of the Empath brain overreact to emotions and learn how to stop this from happening.
  • Projection and how Empaths send out what they think and feel to others.
  • How the disruption of our chakras affect the body and mind.
  • How and why certain foods destroy the Empath’s emotional wellbeing.
  • The reason why Empaths feel everything so powerfully.
  • What the dominant and sometimes overpowering Empath gut sensations mean.
  • The overwhelming emotional overload Empaths experience and how to instantly overcome it.
  • How Empath fatigue affects life and who or what causes it.
  • Why Empaths attract certain types (including narcissists) and repel others.
  • The reason Empaths form instant dislikes for certain people.
  • Inauthentic behavior and how it weakens an Empath.
  • Trauma triggers and their causes.
  • How to recognize psychic attack and how to protect from it.
  • Thoughtbombing, what it is and how to stop it.
  • How to tell the difference between your own emotions and those which don’t belong to you.

If you want to revolutionize your Empath life this book is for you!

Here is the cover and blurb (click on image to go to bookstore)

Now Available: The Empath Awakening

Kindle Version Empath AwakeningDiscovering you are an Empath is a day of great revelation. Finally, you have an answer for all that you feel and experience! This knowing is just the start of an incredible journey…

Understanding the gift, and all it entails, is the first step to unleashing its gentle power and truly defining yourself as an Empath!

For the newly awakened, life can be wrought with challenges and emotional pain; but it doesn’t have to be. The Empath Awakening shows you where your imbalances may hide and how to treat them. It teaches you how to heal and seal a permeable aura and unplug from unnecessary emotions. The book also imparts valuable knowledge essential for a happy, healthy Empath life!

Click Here

Empath Power

Empat PowerThere are some major changes happening on the planet affecting Empaths on many levels. These changes bring pain, emotional disruptions, repetitive, negative thought patterns and physical distress.

With any energy shift, Empaths, and anyone of a Sensitive nature, get clobbered from all directions. Not only do they endure the discomfort of a shifting period in their own way, but they also pick up on how the populace are experiencing these ups and downs. If you often feel overwhelmed and overloaded by all you have to process during these turbulent times, Empath Power is for you.

As an Empath you are one of life’s game changers! It is imperative you stay grounded, protected and healthy during these testing periods and this book is your guide to show you how!

Click Here for more details

Diane x