What is Really Making You Angry?

Have you found yourself suffering more with angry emotional reactions lately than what is usual? Have you ever wondered why?

Following on from my last post about the shadow side, today I want to discuss another way in which the shadow may be experienced: through anger.

The reason this is an important issue to address is because anger is especially damaging to the body. Anger stresses the adrenals, causes stomach problems, and weakens the heart area. in fact, just one minute of anger can suppress the immune system for five hours.

In current times it seems anger is being purposely stimulated amongst the masses, which is not good for the Empaths.

All around the world we see people getting angry or hateful over ‘local or global affairs.’ There is so much fury being projected on to issues presented online that it makes you question: are people really so angry with these issues or is it something else? Something deeper that has been suppressed that is trying to draw their attention?

An Empath will always be affected by the anger in others; but they also have their own to deal with. However, because they know the damage anger can do, when projected on to others, it is often suppressed. Which rarely leads to anything good.

You’re Never Angry About What You Think You’re Angry About!

The above statement is so true. We are rarely infuriated by what we think. We are simply projecting our pain when triggered.

When we project our pain on to external factors, instead of looking inwards to find and fix what needs fixing, we don’t uncover the real roots of our anger.

How Do We Uncover What is Really Making Us Angry?

An unhealed Empath, who has spent years stuffing down emotions, can find offence in pretty much everything. In these times, however, everything is rising to the surface. As noted many times in other posts, imbalances in hormones, due to the diet and environmental factors, plays a huge part in emotional reactions (read more here), but they mostly have to do with our past.

Going Backwards to go Forwards

In life we often have to go backwards to go forwards. What I mean by this is we have to visit the origins of the wounds from our past before we can move away from them.

If, for example, anger is triggered in the present by someone expressing their beliefs, the question has to be asked: Why are their opinions striking a chord?

Could it be related to a buried memory from childhood? Maybe a memory of being told you were wrong? Or perhaps being told you were not good enough? Perhaps regularly? Or it could be that you just want to express yourself without someone jumping in to say that your opinions are unfounded, or liken your ideas to a conspiracy theory (yes, that has happened to me before).

Anger projected into the present is likely to have originated from a past issue, often made much worse by hormone imbalances (read more here ), but it will usually be disguised as anger towards something else.

The ego is often blamed for certain ‘toxic feelings.’ And yes, the ego likes to dominate, it likes to be right and is also easily bruised. But an inflated ego is not always the precursor to anger within an Empath, it is more likely to be the wounds of the shadow.

The shadow holds the unresolved issues, emotional pain and insecurities that affect our behaviour and outlook on life. It also likes to trigger anger. That said, sometimes experiencing dark emotions is not always a bad thing.

Can Positive Situations Come from Anger?

There are times when anger and rage can propel us to make changes in life, pushing us onwards and upwards. It can also help us address that which needs addressing. However, when it is anger outbursts or silent anger, that quietly lingers in the shadows without serving any purpose except stress, then it is a problem!

Do we really want to punish our self for someone else’s opinion or mistake? Because that’s what we do when we host or suppress the emotion of anger.

People will always disagree. It doesn’t mean one is right and the other is wrong. There is just a difference of opinion. We do not need to convince anyone of anything. If someone is not ready to hear our opinion it is not our job to force it upon them. In fact, some people will never hear what we have to say, no matter how much truth is in our words, and that’s ok.

So, how do we tackle the anger or uncomfortable feelings that arise?

Firstly, do not suppress anger. But also, don’t take it out on others.

Many years ago, I read Louise Hay’s recommendation of using a pillow to release anger. Simply take a nice fluffy pillow and, when no one is around, beat it up. It does help.

Secondly, get familiar with the triggers:

To find out where your anger stems from, question yourself. Who are you really angry with? When you ask this question, a picture of someone will quickly come to mind often alongside an uncomfortable memory or feeling.

Do you really want that person or persons to continue to hurt you today? If the answer is no, it’s time to stop or release the anger reaction. Breathe through it or just pause and allow it to pass.

As I said, anger is hugely detrimental to health, as is any of the other stressed/pained emotions.

I realize that switching off emotions is a lot harder than just turning off a light switch. There are several other factors we have to consider. For example, have we become addicted to the hormones these emotions produce (read this post to uncover if you have a negativity addiction)? or are we unable to let go of the pain because it has become part of our identity? But understanding the cause helps in reducing the reactions.

The long-term goal is to stop feeding the shadow when it ignites an anger response. But recognizing that it is the shadow at work is halfway to making this realization.

Healing

When healed, we come to understand that what others say, think or do is more a reflection of them and not us. But until we get to this place, using grounding techniques, such as those I discuss here, will help reduce anger or prevent other emotional reactions, and a pillow is always there for those darker days.

These journeys, we are each experiencing, have been designed especially for us. The beliefs we have and the problems we face are ours to overcome. The same can be said for everyone out there. By allowing others to have their own opinion, by walking away from fights that will never be resolved, or from the people who take pleasure in putting others down, it is not only liberating but also healing. And addressing the truth behind anger goes a long way towards its release.

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time.

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine

 

 

 

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The Transformational Power of Words

Words really do hold power, especially when put together in a certain way. They can change your whole outlook on life.

Whilst perusing online I came across a poem that I wanted to share with you all.

I would not say I am a big fan of poetry but there is something about this one that spoke to me. It was not only a reminder of how much art and truth rests in verse, but also what an incredible journey life is.

It was said the poem was written by Charlie Chaplin at the age of 70. I cannot verify this as true (I realise many quotes and poems credited to a certain person online are not always true). The poem has also been attributed to Kim McMillen who wrote a book called ‘When I Loved Myself Enough’.

I was captivated by its words and the message contained. To me, the poem reveals a life lived with lessons and growth.

So, have a read. See what you think…

As I began to love myself
I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living
against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is Authenticity.

As I began to love myself
I understood how much it can offend somebody
if I try to force my desires on this person,
even though I knew the time was not right
and the person was not ready for it,
and even though this person was me.
Today I call this Respect.

As I began to love myself
I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything
that surrounded me
was inviting me to grow.
Today I call this Maturity.

As I began to love myself
I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time,
and everything happens at the exactly right moment.
So I could be calm.
Today I call this Self-Confidence.

As I began to love myself
I quit stealing my own time,
and I stopped designing huge projects
for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness,
things I love to do and that make my heart cheer,
and I do them in my own way
and in my own rhythm.
Today I call this Simplicity.

As I began to love myself
I freed myself of anything
that is no good for my health –
food, people, things, situations,
and everything that drew me down
and away from myself.
At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.
Today I know it is Love of Oneself.

As I began to love myself
I quit trying to always be right,
and ever since
I was wrong less of the time.
Today I discovered that is Modesty.

As I began to love myself
I refused to go on living in the past
and worrying about the future.
Now, I only live for the moment,
where everything is happening.
Today I live each day,
day by day,
and I call it Fulfillment.

As I began to love myself
I recognized
that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick.
But as I connected it to my heart,
my mind became a valuable ally.
Today I call this connection Wisdom of the Heart.

We no longer need to fear arguments,
confrontations or any kind of problems
with ourselves or others.
Even stars collide,
and out of their crashing, new worlds are born.
Today I know: This is Life!

So, what do you think? Did it talk to you too? Let me know in the comments below.

Until next time.

Diane

Why are Empaths so often Painted as The Villain?

Have you ever been accused of saying something you didn’t say, or blamed for something you didn’t do…?

For an Empath this is more common than you might think…

I am prone to having a roving mind. Having a good old ponder on life and its many ups and downs. During my musings, I often think about my Empath traits, traits that I have lived with for so long, and the impact they have. One thing is for sure, they certainly haven’t offered the easiest ride in life, especially when being the target for unfair attacks and blame.

I know many of you lovely Empaths out there will have experienced either being painted as the villain or being on the receiving end of a character assassination at some point on your journey, and this is what I want to address today.

I have discussed this subject in other posts over the years, but with all this crazy energy affecting the people of the world I thought it a good idea to address it again.

Any Empath who spends time around people often finds themselves under attack in weird ways and for nonsensical reasons. And it’s always good to have reminders as to why these attacks happen because, let’s face it, they don’t feel good.

It is human nature to want to be accepted by others. We are pack animals and don’t always want to be ostracized from the herd (unless we are done with people)..But being wrongly accused, or blamed for something we didn’t do, usually pushes us away from family or friends because it is difficult to deal with such betrayal.

It is common for an Empath to make the mistake of believing that those in our life think and feel the way we think and feel. Therefore, it is beyond our comprehension if someone attacks us or paints us as some ‘crooked creature’.

So why is it so many Empaths are disliked, perceived as the bad guy or are wrongly accused?

There are several reasons; one of the first being:

The Mirror Effect

Empaths can unintentionally reflect what they feel in another. Revealing their truths. Anything hidden, such as insecurities, suppressed shame, guilt or anger, builds the longer it is left buried. If someone conceals traits, such as the above, that they don’t like about themselves, they are reminded of them when in an Empath’s presence.

Why Does this Happen?

Due to the fact an Empath picks up on other people’s emotions, hidden behaviours and true personality traits, we often take them on, sometimes acting them out. Otherwise known as morphing. We basically become like a mirror. Reminding the other of what they are hiding from. This can cause an instant dislike from them to us.

If this has been your experience, that someone seems cold towards you for no reason, it could be that you are reflecting the truth they deny. Or there could be another reason…

You Have a Super-Speedy Vibration

An Empath is generally always working on themselves. Working to clear toxic emotions, dark thoughts or outdated behaviours. We want to make our world into a better brighter place, and we know by making changes to ourselves it will also benefit the outside world.

When we do the work and make any positive changes to our mind, body or spirit, we become cleaner and purer. This effectively speeds up our vibration. Which is a good thing; but it can make others uncomfortable.

Just like an Empath’s need not to be around people who spew negativity, there are some who cannot stand being around those who emit a sparkly clean energy.

Now, this is not to say an Empath is perfect or that they are some kind of ‘quiet saint’. We all have flaws and weaknesses we need to work through. The whole point of life is to evolve. But vibrating in a higher space can repel people, even those we love.

What Does This Look Like?

You may have noticed when in an emotionally low place some friends prefer you that way. It seems to make them comfortable that you are suffering (which is randomly odd). Yet when we make changes and get into a higher vibrating space, those same people don’t always like it. They may try to bring us back down, by attempting to extinguish our inner-light and happiness.

This isn’t always a cruelty thing. They sense us moving away from them and lash out in the hopes it will bring us back to their level.

People sense change, whether it is visually apparent or not, they feel when another has changed or stepped up their frequency. Not everyone is ready to raise their vibration. Some still have lessons to learn at their level and are not ready to move forwards. And because they are not ready, they may try to draw us back down. This is often done by snide remarks and unkind comments. But this is not the only thing that ignites a negative response from others…

An Empath’s Quiet Nature is often Deemed as Offensive

Yes, you did just read that line correctly. Another reason people form an instant dislike of some Empaths (especially the introverts) is because of a quiet nature. Here’s why:

To those of an insecure nature, an Empath’s sometimes quiet or distant ways may be taken as a snub or a form of disrespect. We may be considered as being remote or standoffish and this can be wrongly interpreted as superior or ‘judgy’ behaviour. In other words, some people assume we believe we are ‘above them’.

Normally, when an Empath acts in an aloof or distant way, it is because we are on overload, drained and in need of a ‘timeout’. When having taken on too much stimuli, we want to be invisible to others. A fatigue meltdown means an Empath can’t deal with someone offloading their troubles. We may switch off. Even polite conversation is too much. And this behaviour is often interpreted as a rejection.

Because most people don’t feel an inch of what an Empath does, it is difficult for them to understand our need to withdraw. Sadly, the more insecure someone is, the more they are offended. If we’re seen as blowing ‘hot and cold’, our behaviour may be considered as arrogance. If this causes insult, we may be rejected, or our character is attacked as a form of retaliation.

So, if someone develops an aversion towards you, for no good reason, if they attack you behind your back or paint you as the ‘bad guy’, remember it is not always because of something you have done, instead it is a flaw or insecurity in your attacker.

People will always be threatened by an Empath’s light. We need to know that that’s ok and keep focused on what inspires or uplifts us, instead of on those who are offended by our Empath ways.

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time.

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

 

 

The Precipice of Change for all Empaths

Have you noticed something strange going on around you?

Do you feel tension in the air?

Have you wondered why this is happening now?

In the past few years we have seen some crazy hate campaigns going on in the media. Usually disguised as crusades for acceptance, equality or important political issues, but the true intention of these campaigns is usually to keep people distracted and divided.

In the UK we have Brexit keeping tensions high, in the US there is Trump and in between we have campaigns for racial equality, equality of the genders and more. All of which seem to be stirring up hate, anger and division.

Before I go any further, I would like to say that this is not a post on politics, issues on equality or anything like that. I am discussing how damaging all the dark energy, that is being fired up, is having and the reason for it.

I am not into politics and would never aim to influence anyone’s opinion on these matters, but what is happening now is seriously ugly, and anyone who is Sensitive will be horribly affected by the division, aggression and hate purposely stimulated.

The above campaigns are normally disguised as ‘pushes towards positive progression’, but as always within the mainstream media there is usually a hidden agenda to keep people away from their truth and self-evolvement.

Everyone wants to be accepted, and we are being told that we should be more accepting of those who are different. Acceptance of others is a good thing and should definitely be encouraged. But by stirring up hate in order to achieve this will not work. Hatred will never encourage acceptance. Evil begets evil, anger begets anger and hate begets hate.

The reason I wanted to address this subject today is because the type of energy that is being stirred up is the kind that brings an Empath down fast, if they are unfortunate enough to get caught up in it, and distracted from their own evolvement.

It is very easy for an Empath to lift the energy of others, in the form of opinions and ideas, and take them on as their own. We don’t even have to be physically in the presence of another for this to happen, reading online articles or watching videos can have the same impact. We can become so swayed by overwhelming opinions and energy that we get distracted from our life and dragged into a ‘manufactured war’. A war between people.

People are purposely being fired against each other and it is so awful to bear witness to, especially as an Empath.

Within the political world there has always been different parties, people standing for different reasons and rights. But never before have I seen such animosity stirred up, supposedly in the name of ‘standing for what is right’.

We have campaigns telling the world how we should be more accepting of others, but at the same time we are shown to hate those who don’t have the same opinions as us. It is considered ok to attack anyone who does not hold the same view, political or other, or to make assumptions on another’s beliefs and ideologies.

From where I stand, the message coming across is that its ok to silence, intimidate or attack those who stand up for what they believe in, if it doesn’t fit in with the narrative of the mainstream media. But how is this in any way progress? It’s not meant to be progress. It’s meant to throw us off track and keep us from our light.

A couple of months ago I watched a ‘Roast of Rob Lowe’ on Comedy Central. The panel of Roasters, and the audience, was filled with celebrities and well-known faces. It was just like any other Roast, of below-the-belt-banter, until Anne Coulthard got up. Talk about tumbleweeds.  

I must admit, I don’t know much about Anne Coulthard other than she is an advocate for Trump. But when she stood up, to do her Roast, the audience jeered her in such a hateful way and showed her nothing but contempt that it was difficult to watch. If the jeering was done in the ‘banterish’ way of the Roast, it might be laughed at, but it was hate-mob mentality and seriously uncomfortable viewing. Revulsion was written on the majority’s faces. And it sent a message to say if you don’t think like us or agree with us, then this is how we will treat you. This is extreme narcissism and it is scary that it seems to be so accepted!

I get that everyone has their own political opinions and beliefs. And so they should. Politics has always been an ugly arena; but the intimidation that is now happening is bullying and is not the behaviour that should be passed off as acceptable in a supposedly progressive society. We cannot be told that bullying is bad then show it as entertainment. Unless, of course, if the desired effect is to turn people against each other…

Celebrities are major influencers. People respect and admire them. Seeing celebs behaving towards others with contempt, because of their political leanings, shows the viewing world that this is the way to treat anyone who holds differing opinions.

Encouraging hate will never encourage acceptance. It just distracts and divides. The messages being sent out by the media are both confusing and contradictory. By keeping us distracted and divided it keeps us from finding unity with each other and from finding our own power.

I try to bypass anything that holds the content of hate online, but by spending a lot of time on my laptop, I sometimes find myself being drawn in on YouTube or something. When I do get drawn in, it leaves me deflated and depressed (and in serious need of chocolate). 

There are so many messages of hate being sent out in the guise of ‘striving for acceptance’, but the way these messages are portrayed are just so off track. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for acceptance, and in a perfect world we would all be capable of accepting everyone for their ‘differences’. But one thing is for sure, hate will always negate acceptance. 

There will always be differing political opinions, religious beliefs, cultural differences and varied outlooks on life. As I have said many times before, we are all different with different life paths (even as Empaths), and that is a good thing, it’s the way it is meant to be. It is so easy to waste this precious life focused on what others do or say and what they believe in, instead of focusing on finding our truth and purpose.

If you pay too much attention to the negative hype, being purposely aggravated, then you will be badly affected. By avoiding the media fracas, you will save yourself a lot of unnecessary suffering and heartache. You will feel more positive about yourself and others. Read this post to learn why Empaths are more at risk from the negativity.

We are in the midst of some incredible times for evolvement; which can be easily missed when focusing on manufactured negativity. I believe that all this BS means we are on the precipice of incredible changes for all (things get worse before they get better), but we still have to participate in any change for the better by keeping ourselves in a higher space. Doing a daily reset helps with this.

When spending your time doing what you love, and away from the media, it automatically elevates you. It also helps keep you protected from the dark energy stirred up out there. You then radiate a more powerful energy which positively impacts those you come into contact with.

Ok, that’s my musings for today.

Hope you are all having a fantastic summer… or winter.

Until next time…

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

 

 

Are You Searching for Purpose or Do You Have Destination Addiction?


A couple of posts ago, I wrote about Negativity Addiction and how it impacts the Empaths of the world. Today I’ll be addressing another unusual addiction talked about within social media circles: Destination Addiction.

Destination Addiction is the idea that happiness lies in the next job, the next relationship or location, etc. It is said that until we give up the idea that happiness lies somewhere else it will never be where we are.

When I came across the idea of ‘Destination Addiction’, it opened an inner-dialogue; was this a good thing or not? On the one hand, if we believe happiness lies outside of ourselves, do we ever find it? and on the other, does our pursuit of happiness not keep us moving forwards, onwards and upwards?

Thinking about it, I see both sides have their merits. Destination Addiction (DA) can serve us, helping us uncover our truth, but it might also prevent us from feeling complete.

Everyone is Susceptible

DA affects many people’s lives in different ways. The obvious scenario is when someone gives up something good to find something better, only to end up with something worse.  For example, in relationships: an unhappy person might break up a stable marriage with a loving spouse, after blaming them for their unhappiness; to set up with another partner, who they deem to be their ‘perfect match’, only to find they are still unhappy and in a worse situation than before.

Then there are those who have incredible experiences in their DA and search for happiness: By pushing forward, to find a place of ‘belonging’, a person might study hard, try numerous vocations, have beautiful families, visit mind-blowing locations, and meet extraordinary people.

I consider myself to be a multipotentialite. I love trying new things. But am I in the belief that the next endeavour holds long-sought after happiness? The answer is a resounding, No. Apart from the days when I’ve eaten a disagreeable food, or suffered a dose of ‘people-itis’, or if my hormones are playing up, I would say I am happy. I love what I do. But I also adore collecting new life experiences. I do it for the experience and not because I am ‘searching for happiness outside myself’. But I wasn’t always that way…

Like many twenty somethings, I also believed happiness lay somewhere else; which didn’t get any better as I moved into my thirties. Being in a profession I fell into (hairdressing), with a business that felt like a trap, and a business partner who wasn’t a fit for me or my Empath ways, I kept looking outside of myself. Believing there was something else out there, I wished it would come and find me, but deep down I knew it was my job to search it out.

Anyone looking from the outside might have considered me to be inconsistent or that I couldn’t stick to anything, because I kept studying and pursuing new interests. My adventurous spirit could have been classed as a bad case of ‘Destination Addiction’. That said, I always finished what I started, and I truly enjoyed learning. But an inner-void and a yearning kept pushing me on.  There were missing pieces, that needed to be found. I kept searching.

The search sent knowledge and many incredible life experiences to me, including some unpleasant obstacles. So, what might be classed as a ‘DA’ has served me well.

Have I found all the pieces? No, and nor would I want to. Gaining knowledge and having experiences keeps life interesting and awesome.

An Unhappy Population

According to statistics, about seventy-five percent of the workforce are miserable in their career. The cost of living traps many people. Simply paying for life’s necessities can wrap us up in debt. But even when one has wealth or ‘the dream job’ it doesn’t mean happiness is guaranteed. Sometimes the biggest void is seen in those who ‘seemingly’ have the most.

We are led to believe that wealth and positions of power are they key to happiness; but what about all those who ‘have it all’ and are still unhappy?

When someone has a void within that they don’t know how to satisfy, some of the usual fillers are drink, drugs, or shopping. Chasing a high or plugging up a lack of fulfilment with ‘stuff’, there’s a belief that the next night out, the new car, next holiday, or shiny Rolex will seal the ‘gap’. But does it ever?

What’s the Answer?

I heard a comment the other day that put a smile on my face:

If you could do one thing in life that you knew you wouldn’t fail at, what would it be…? Now, go off and do it.’

Such simple logic. But career is not always where the real problems lie. The belief that happiness is somewhere else might just be the issue.

Taking quiet reflective time to look at life objectively can help. Time to think about possible changes that could be made.

Changes don’t necessarily need to be new life experiences, new jobs or new relationships, they could be as simple as spending regular time in nature, giving up processed foods, incorporating crystals or aromatherapy oils into daily life, or drinking more water… Don’t try harder try different.

It is often small changes that make the biggest difference. They all add up, and help us see that happiness has always been within reach.

So, yes, in my humble opinion, Destination Addiction has both pros and cons. If we allow it to push us towards life experiences, growth and a career that is a fit with who we are, then it is a great blessing. If we convince ourselves that happiness lies outside ourselves, or in the hands of another, then it might never be found.

We have the potential to uncover exactly what we need. But we also have to be patient, and know every experience is serving us in ways we might not understand for some time. Roads that appear to lead nowhere are also steps of new direction, and still have purpose.

Hope this helps on your journey.7 secrets e-book version

Until next time,

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

Is This Normal in an Empath…?

As I’m sure your already more than aware, being an Empath certainly comes with its challenges. One such thing is suffering with heightened sensitivities, like allergies and intolerances.

For many, having sensitivities tends to go hand-in-hand with Empath life. However,  at a certain age you may find these sensitivities heighten and go into overdrive.

There are many reasons for this, but mostly it is down to a compromised immune system and shifting hormones. These changes are normally experienced from the mid-thirties onwards.

Sadly, with age, our bodies become less resilient to all kinds of stress, which means allergies and intolerances start having a greater impact.

The main difference between an allergy and an intolerance is that an allergy is triggered by the immune system, whereas an intolerance may or may not involve an immune system response. Intolerances can also trigger autoimmune reactions, where the immune system attacks the tissues of the body.

Allergic reactions show up straight away, whereas intolerances may not happen for anything up to a day or two after exposure This is the same for being ‘peopled’. The effects of being ‘peopled’ may be experienced straight away or not for 24 hours or more…

Many Empaths have intolerances that they know of, but you may have become intolerant to something or someone and not even be aware of it.

If you are in contact with something on a daily basis that you are allergic or intolerant to, you tend to have a continuous, albeit sometimes minor, reaction. For example: you may suffer with a constant stuffy nose, itchy eyes, muscle or joint discomfort, lethargy or headaches; but because the symptoms seem minor, you give little thought to them.

Most of us already know what we should or shouldn’t consume. We get that nagging feeling that something is not a fit. But when sensitivities heighten with age, we may start reacting to things we have come into daily contact with for most of our life (including certain people), and therefore not make the connection.

So, you may now be wondering what types of reactions you could experience. Here’s a brief breakdown:

  • If you drink alcohol, you may find yourself getting intoxicated ridiculously easily and feel so ill after consumption that you believe you’re going to die. Hangovers last for days or even a week. This shows your body is not able to process alcohol like it did, and it’s time to eliminate or drastically reduce your intake.
  • After eating meat, poultry or fish you feel more depressed than normal and your energy levels plummet. Some Empaths feel the energy of an animal when they consume its flesh, which can cause depression; but also the chemicals and hormones injected into meat can cause a reaction that gets worse with age.
  • Your morning coffee starts giving you the jitters, making you anxious and/or nauseous. Many Empaths find their tolerance for caffeine decreases with age.
  • The day after spending time with a certain person you feel fatigued and depressed.
  • When coming into contact with air fresheners, cleaning products, perfumes or garden chemicals, your nose starts streaming and you develop cold-like symptoms.
  • Consuming anything genetically modified triggers a host of uncomfortable symptoms for days after.
  • White sugar or wheat products makes your body lethargic and your mind race.
  • Watching TV or spending time on the internet  gives you brain fog and makes you feel restless or irritable.
  • You may find you put on weight, for no reason, which you cannot get rid of.

As Empath life already has enough challenges to deal with, you don’t want to endure any unnecessary suffering. So, if you find your sensitivities have heightened towards people, or anything else, it is a good idea to keep a lifestyle diary. Write down what you eat, chemicals you may have come into contact with in cleaning products or other, list the people you spend time with, whether you have reactions to hair dyes or beauty treatments, and make a note of time spent in front of a computer, TV or other media outlets,  (for women make a note of your monthly cycle).

By keeping notes it will eventually reveal a pattern, and help you make the connection between how you feel and what you’ve come into contact with. It also helps you determine what is triggering or heightening your sensitivities.

One of the best ways to determine an intolerance or allergy is a process of elimination: To withdraw from your life, for a time, the suspected trigger and then reintroduce it after three to four weeks. If you have become intolerant you normally have a big reaction when its reintroduced (this even works with people). If you have a negative physical or emotional reaction it is probably time to eliminate the trigger.

Here are some other posts you might find helpful for determining physical weaknesses that may have developed over the years: Here, Here and Here.

Discover how the traits of an Empath impact the way you live and how to make the most of them...

Discover how the traits of an Empath impact the way you live and how to make the most of them…

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time.

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine at Empaths Empowered

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Want to Know the Secret to Success for an Empath?

Do you want to transform your life?

Have you tried to make changes but they didn’t work?

Maybe it’s time for another way…

In life, when something isn’t working we think we should be trying harder. When really, we should be doing things differently!

I rediscovered the statement, ‘Don’t Try Harder, Try Different’, when reading a book by Katherine Gray, The Unexpected Joys of Being Sober. I say rediscovered because I have seen the saying before, but somehow it resonated with me more now than ever.

I gave up alcohol six years ago. I have never looked back. I’m still loving the way sober life makes me feel.  Because of this, I find it interesting to learn what brought others into sobriety, how it impacts their life and the people in it. Hence reading Katherine’s book.

Now, before you panic, thinking I’m about to suggest you give up alcohol in order to find success do not fear. I am just using Katherine as an example of how doing things differently can be transformational.

In her book, Katherine not only talks about her battle with booze, and how it affected her friends when she gave up, she also discusses how it is known, that when giving up alcohol, not every approach works for everyone. One person may benefit from going to AA meetings, another will find it sets them back, one person may be able to continue socializing very soon after quitting the booze, another person may need to avoid all places that serve alcohol for months or even years.

It is about finding an approach that works for the individual. Which I totally agree with, for all areas of life.

If you’re anything like I was, you may find when something isn’t working or not giving the desired results, the inner-critic emerges. It tells you that you’re not working hard enough and need to put in more effort.

But it’s often the case that when something doesn’t work, it’s not always because we are doing it wrong or being lazy, it could be that we are not doing what is right for us. We are following a recipe that was for someone else’s success.

An example of where this happened for me is in yoga. I’ve done yoga for over twenty years. I started practising to a) find inner-calm and balance and b) to help ease my ‘hairdressers back’ (after years of doing 12-hour standing days, in heels, it took its toll on my lower-back).

The promised inner-calm came quickly. In fact, after one yoga session I could feel a shift in my emotional health, but my back problem didn’t go away.

Although I gained incredible benefits from yoga, over the years of trying and ‘working harder’ at yoga poses (even qualifying as a yoga teacher) my back problem did not get resolved.

Many good teachers demonstrated poses that worked for their back problems or their students. I tried them. They didn’t work. I told myself it was because I wasn’t working hard enough or getting deeper into the poses. I thought I wasn’t being accurate in my positioning or that I needed to spend more time practising. My ego mind also got involved; telling me I needed to be more bendy and work to be like all the other yogis who could tie themselves into effortless knots.

It took me many years to learn that I had to do yoga asanas differently. If something isn’t right for my body, and its imbalances, it doesn’t matter how much I work to perfect a pose, I would never get the benefit that others got.

It is understandable why we tell ourselves we need to work harder. We are led to believe the only way to succeed at anything is through graft. And yes, hard work pays off, but only when we are doing what is right for us.

Now, I am not encouraging anyone to give up on their dreams because they are not happening quickly enough. Good things don’t always come easily. Some things take many years to manifest and the journey can be very enjoyable. But if it’s not working, a new approach may be needed.

We live in a ‘one-sized-fits-all world’. We are sold the ideas of miracle cures or easy ways of making money. ‘This worked for thousands of people, so it will work for you.’ But we are all different…

I have noted many times, in my writings, that what works for one will not always work for another. I learnt that through trial and error, and I am still learning it.

My ‘well-programmed’ brain does not always want to hear that I have to do things differently in order to succeed.

The brain likes to keep us safe. It thinks that by following the crowd it’s the safest route. It likes us to follow the rules laid out for everyone else because there’s less chance of danger and we’re not as vulnerable. And for some people, this works.

Some are very happy and successful by following the well-walked path. But if you’re not getting the desired results, and it doesn’t feel ‘right,’ maybe it’s time for a new plan?

It takes courage to move away from the herd. It takes bravery to step out of our comfort zone and do it differently. But trying different instead of harder is often the exact thing we need to see big changes happen.

It can apply to all areas of life too: diet, exercise, people, work, business, family life, etc. When one way isn’t working, there will always be another way to do it.

Now, if you are not sure where to start. A good way to uncover ‘new ways’, other than the usual internet searches, is by tuning into your inner-Empath-guidance.

The great thing is, as an Empath you have incredible intuition and an inner-knowing that few others can boast of. Use it to discover not only what you should be doing to find success, but what your real purpose is.

Spending quiet time listening to the intuitive mind, instead of the rational mind, is incredibly revealing. If you are not sure how to access your true Empath intuition this post will show you how.

Whilst we continuously do what is not a fit for us, we give our power away. So, when looking for success in life, if something isn’t working, instead of trying harder try different!

Until next time…

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

The Reason This One Thing Is So Important For An Empath

 

Do you know one of the worst things for your Empath health…?

Stress!

Most Empaths know when they are experiencing stress, but they may have no idea how much of this stress is held within their muscles. Which, over time, becomes incredibly problematic to the way you show up in the world.

Our muscles are constantly stimulated through the stresses of modern life, and that’s not to mention the impact of ‘people stress.’ Because of this, even in sleep, the muscles don’t fully relax… Which, as you can probably imagine, is not good for Empath health!

Even when we think we are relaxing, we often aren’t. The TV programs we watch in the evening can have the effect of firing up the mind, which stimulates the muscles, further tensing them, and even reading certain books can put the nerves (and muscles) on edge.

Pained emotions, either your own or those you pick up throughout the day from others, are also stored within the muscles.

Stressed Muscles Leads to a Stressed Empath Mind!

Whilst reading this you will be holding tension somewhere in your body. Your forehead might be rouched,  your eyes might be squinting, your shoulders might be hunched or your wrists extended back, your legs, hips or back might be in an awkward position, all creating pressure in your muscles and joints.

We could go through the entire body, but I think it’s safe to say you are holding muscle tension somewhere.

So Why is This Such a Bad Thing?

When your muscles are constantly contracted, they are fuelling the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight). Not only is this depleting the body of vital energy, that most can ill-afford to lose, but it is also prematurely ageing, it raises blood pressure, lowers the immune system and unnecessarily heightens Empath stress.

What To Do About It

By training the muscles to soften and loosen, through relaxation, it switches on the parasympathetic nervous system. This in turn, slows the breathing, lowers blood pressure, initiates deep relaxation of body and mind, and allows healing to occur.

One of the best and easiest ways to get a muscle to relax is to tense it first.

If you’ve ever been in a yoga class and the teacher asked you to tense all the muscles in your body before relaxation, it was to aid in releasing any held tension and to allow you to relax more deeply. Here are just some of the benefits:

Relaxation Benefits

  • Reduces fatigue
  • Anti-ageing
  • Lowers blood pressure
  • Boosts the immune system
  • Induces restful sleep
  • Allows for muscle regeneration
  • Switches on the parasympathetic nervous system
  • Promotes mind stillness
  • Aides in general well-being.

It is said that the relaxation, at the end of a yoga class, is the most beneficial part of the practice. Not only is it time for the body to rest, but it’s the time the benefits of yoga practise are fully integrated.

Relaxation can be done at anytime of day but it is great to do at bedtime or after exercise.

Here’s an Easy Muscle-Tensing Technique:

  • Lie on the floor or a bed (for anyone suffering back problems: a bolster or cushion under the knees is helpful).
  • Starting at the feet, tense them for five to ten seconds then release.
  • Work up through the limbs, torso and face, tensing and relaxing each body part in turn (great distraction for the mind if you can’t sleep).
  • Finally, clench the body tight for five to tense seconds, then completely relax and go floppy.
  • Stay for a while in this deep state of stillness.

If time is short, you could tense the lower part of the body first, then the upper half, finishing on the face.

Not only does the above exercise promote relaxation but it also aids in stilling the mind.

If, as an Empath, you suffer any kind of stress conditions or chronic fatigue, doing full-body muscle tensing and relaxation is a great help to your overall well-being.

So, now you have no excuse not to spend more time relaxing. Give yourself permission to switch off and chill those muscles. It is super-beneficial for a happy, healthy life.…

If you are suffering a lot of emotional stress, you may find this post on Essential Oils for the Empath beneficial.

Hope this helps on your journey…

Until next time

Diane

©Diane Kathrine at Empaths Empowered

Are Empaths Destined to Suffer Loneliness?


Are Empaths prone to loneliness?

I recently read a blog post, by Mark Sisson, regarding loneliness and how it has become near epidemic levels.

The article discussed how loneliness is perceived as a weakness and is something we don’t openly talk about in society, which is certainly true.

Loneliness can also occur when people feel like they don’t fit into life, as so many Empaths do. Feeling ‘different’ often leads to a sense of isolation.

To admit to being lonely is often seen as too shameful. It’s as though anyone admitting to loneliness is admitting to failure in life.

People may also not want to admit to being lonely because of the worry of what others think. The fear that being lonely might show one to be unpopular, with a lack of friends, might hold some back from discussing it. Which is ridiculous when you think about it. Someone can have many friends and family members, yet still feel lonely.

They say that loneliness is worse for the health than smoking; which makes sense. Anything that detrimentally weakens the emotional health is damaging to the physical.

The fact that loneliness has become an epidemic, and is now so famous, should not come as a surprise. People are so self-absorbed these days. Because everyone is kept super-busy with work commitments, family life, social media or just trying to figure out existence, they don’t always have time for others.
Continue reading

Does An Empath Have A Disadvantage With The Law Of Attraction?

Today’s post is about an interesting comment I received on the last post I shared.

When I first read the following comment, my initial reaction was this was a negative response. It ruffled my feathers. I wasn’t sure what it was about. But I then realized there was a reference to the law of attraction in my last post. (Read my last post here).

Here is the comment:

Thinking negatively is absolutely essential if we are to change ourselves. Without negativity there is literally no driving force for change. Shame, depression, despair, sadness, anxiety, disillusionment, guilt, aloneness, self-doubt, self-dissatisfaction, feelings of inferiority etc. force self-aware individuals with a conscience to do better (‘the Theory of Positive Disintegration’, analogous to ‘the dark night of the soul’).

The ‘law of attraction’ – as it’s widely understood – is hogwash. Poor and sick people didn’t set out to be poor and sick people, and thinking happy-clappy thoughts won’t make their reality any nicer. Also, bad things happen to good people, and as well as that all sorts of low-life try to attack good people (where’s the ‘law of attraction’ in that?) There isn’t one genuinely spiritual person who hasn’t gone through an utterly miserable time from others.

Where the ‘law of attraction’ becomes even more pernicious is with new-age internet scammers who tell their victims that the ‘get rich quick’ schemes they bought into didn’t succeed because ‘they weren’t thinking positively enough’.

As I pondered my reply, I realized it would be a lengthy one. So, I decided it was a good opportunity to write a post about it instead, because a) I agree with the comment, and b) because I don’t agree with it and c) because I realize many Empaths may be of the same mind, (and d) because anything that ruffles my feathers is drawing my attention to something that needs addressing). Continue reading

Social Hangovers: What Cause Them & How Do They Impact Empath Life?

 

I’m sure many of you have experienced a social hangover. It is one of the banes of Empath life.

So, what exactly is a social hangover and how does it affect us?

Basically, it’s similar to a boozy hangover, except it’s caused from consuming too much people energy and it happens whether you drink alcohol or not.

The physical symptoms are varied from one Empath to the next, but here are just a few: fatigue, headaches and generally feeling blah. For more extreme cases, it may require a day in bed.

Back in the days when I used to drink alcohol, I assumed feeling rough the day after was all down to guzzling too many Budweiser. So, when I ventured out alcohol free, I was surprised to discover I still got the ‘hangover’.

I soon clicked on to the fact that it was the aftereffects of being peopled (alcohol had just heightened the impact). Continue reading

Can You Feel It?

 

Don’t you love the energy of a new year? Just today I felt a real shift in the way the energy feels. It’s like there’s a freshness all around and an upbeat vibe drifting through the air.

 It’s as though positive intentions are ramping up, as ideas for fresh starts are being put into place all around.

I was away for Christmas, in the Caribbean, so I missed a lot of the Xmas madness. I got back on the 28th, and there was still a real stressed-out energy lingering. It wasn’t very nice to come back to. Even my husband found the energy dark and stressful, which made him a little grumpy. (My Empath ways have shown up in him more in recent years and he has become much more in tune with the energy of others.) Continue reading

Unplug from the Energy of Others

bench nature love people

Do you know how to unplug from the energy of others?

Would you like to find out how?

This is a very important subject for an Empath, because if we don’t unplug from the energy we pick up from others, then the energy of others will control our life.

Empaths have to work hard to stay grounded, balanced and in control of emotions. And if we want to stay ‘on top’ we have to learn to switch off from the energy of the masses.

I think you’ll agree; these past years have gone from one level of trauma to another. The energies have switched from stress to anger to hate to fear to more stress.

It’s obvious the populace is being distracted and divided with the intention of keeping us from finding our true-inner-power.

What I mean by this is, we are in a unique time where past issues are coming up to the surface to be resolved and healed for everyone. Not only in the way of karmic return but in calls to find balance of the body and mind (modern life puts a huge strain on our human bodies).

When past trauma is ready to be healed it shows up in many ways: feeling constantly dissatisfied, suffering illness, anxiety, fear, anger and other strong emotions.  There are many other ways in which people receive their inner-calls to make changes and go within.

Instead of being able to address old wounds and or physical issues, as they arise, people are being given reasons to project their emotional pain on to others. Which many Empaths pick up, even if they are not in direct firing line.

When we are kept angry or distressed, by focusing on the world’s injustices or propaganda, it not only keeps us trapped in a negative mind-set but it stops us from taking the steps to face and heal any physical or emotional wounds that need attention. We then continuously draw back more reasons to feel emotionally low.

For those Empaths who have already done much inner-work, it sometimes feels like we are being taken back several steps. It doesn’t help that feeling the emotional energy of the world, when it is so negatively charged, can be incredibly isolating.

We not only need to keep swapping and changing our healing/grounding techniques to stay protected, we need to stay ‘unplugged’ from this energy.

Consciously Unplug

This is so important, even if it’s just for five minutes a day.

By consciously unplugging from all external distractions, it not only allows for a vibrational reset, it shifts our focus. Which helps us break the connection to the emotional energy of others, and allows us to tune into our higher-self.

By simply closing your eyes and focusing on your breath or doing some type of meditative practice, it works well to unplug.

One technique I like to use is the ‘balancing triangle breath’.

This may sound strange, but in my mind’s eye I draw a triangle with my breath between my nose and third eye.

If you want to try it: Inhale through your left nostril (you can block the opposite nostril with thumb), taking the breath up to the third eye (centre of forehead), then on the exhale see your breath travel from the third eye down the right nostril and then back over to the left nostril. After a few breaths reverse the flow from right to left, and then keep alternating.

The image may help you get a better idea of what I mean (I apologize for the creepy face).

The above technique not only helps you unplug and re-centre, it also helps balance your masculine and feminine energy (learn more here).

Take a Salted-Magnesium-Essential-Oil Bath:

A salt bath with added magnesium and lavender is an incredible combination for instilling calm and balance. It’s also super soothing to your emotions and helps you unplug from the world.

Salt is great for clearing all types of people energy, especially when it is negative. It also heals and softens the skin.

Magnesium helps one relax, and boosts energy, supports the endocrine system and aids sleep (quality sleep is essential for repairs). You can buy magnesium bath salts in most supermarkets.

An essential oil, such as lavender, is both relaxing and uplifting and is great to use after being peopled.

Add a grounding crystal into the mix and you have a super-powerful formula for unplugging. Find out the best grounding stone for an Empath here.

Avoid Negative People

This is something I probably don’t need to remind you of, but I know how hard it is. But if there’s one thing that can suck dry your last remnants of goodwill, its being around ‘negatives’ or ‘energy vampires’

Did you know, science has even acknowledged that by spending too much time around negative people it can influence health and happiness?

There are many studies showing how prolonged ‘people stress’ alters gene expression within the immune system… Meaning: anyone can become sick just by hanging out with toxic people. For an Empath, who can wear another person’s emotional energy like a heavy winter coat, it’s double whammy!

So, there you go. Some simple ways to unplug from the energy of others.

If you have any other techniques that work for you, feel free to share in the comments below

Hope this helps.

Until next time.

Stay empowered.

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine

 

 

Is it Time to Let Them Go?


Being in harmony with people is essential to an Empath’s health and wellbeing.

It should go without saying that as Empaths we should be extra vigilant of not only whom we allow into our life but also those we allow to stay.

Is it time to let them go?

This isn’t about us thinking we’re too good for some people. It’s about letting go of those who constantly make us feel bad, who drain our energy and suck the joy from our life. And that should probably include the people who are angry or bitter towards us, those who attack or lie about us to others and those who seem to enjoy seeing us suffer.

Sadly, the people this includes is most often adult family members or friends who we would have at one time considered close. Continue reading

How Do You Know If You’re An Introvert Empath?


How would you describe yourself, introvert or extrovert?

Many Empaths identify with being an introvert, for the reason that introversion tends to go hand-in-hand with an Empath’s journey. But that’s not to say there are no extrovert Empaths.

If you started life exhibiting more extrovert ways, the way the world makes you ‘feel’ can trigger or build introvert leanings, such as: a regular need for solitude, not enjoying spending time around people, experiencing social aggravation when around crowds, etc. Continue reading