Should an Empath be Competitive?


I’ve always been fascinated by the many different ways of human nature. Things that set us apart or unite us. One such way being competition.

When it comes to the idea of competing, I am somewhat of a contradiction. On the one hand I think it’s healthy and on the other, it is ugly.

If there’s one thing I dislike in a person, it’s an ugly competitive streak. When someone is willing to trample all over another, just to win, this is ‘ugly competition’. It could also be seen when someone is jealous of another’s achievements, and they undermine these achievements, just to continue to feel superior.

That said, if we don’t have a level of competition, we don’t tend to push ourselves forward to become better.

Unlike me, my husband is very competitive. If the game doesn’t have a competition, there’s no element of risk and he doesn’t want to play. I used to love playing badminton. Not competitively. Just hitting the shuttlecock back and forth, over the net, without it falling to the ground. My husband also liked to play, but for him the joy was in the competition. So, playing together never really worked. He wanted to score points for fun and I wanted to have fun without the scoring.

That’s not to say he, or the many other men and women like him, have an ugly competitive streak. He’s not a sore loser and he wouldn’t manipulate another to win. If anything, he would encourage others. 

I don’t think I have ever enjoyed competition. It almost seems like winning makes another into a loser.  

When competing at school, in sports for example, I felt myself weaken physically. I now realize this was just another part of being an Empath. For one thing, if I won, it meant the other lost. Which felt wrong. And for another, during competitive sports, I was likely picking up on the others’ intention (wanting to beat me), and morphed my energy signature to fit with their intentional energy. (If you have experienced this you will know exactly what I mean).

When we are unaware, as Empaths, we can pick up on the intentions, opinions and judgements of others which can impact our behaviour. 

I go to gym classes most days (Zumba, aerobics, etc.). When there, I never like being too close to the competitive people. They give off such strong vibes.  I can feel them wanting to be better than others in the room. I don’t need to know them or have talked to them to feel this. I’m not saying this makes them bad people. I just don’t like feeling this energy when I work out.

It took me some years to understand that this was what I was feeling when in gym classes. It is often in yoga classes where I sense ‘the competitive energy’ at its worst. It’s a big reason I don’t like practising yoga around others.

Again, I understand that although I’m not partial to being in competition, it can drive people on to being the best version of themselves. But it can also do the opposite.

There is a great saying that, ‘It’s not about the winning it’s about the taking part.’ Yet some would argue that if there’s no chance of winning, what is the point of taking part? That is a mentality I don’t agree with (I told you I was a contradiction). It’s the ego talking. If you enjoy the competition, do it for yourself. But don’t not compete just because you might not win.

My opinion is that our best competition is ourself. We should always be working to become better than we were last week or last year, in all areas of life. And self-competition is something I do enjoy.

So, yes, I see competition as both healthy and unhealthy, good and bad.

It would be interesting to hear your thoughts on the subject. How does competition affect you as an Empath? Does it help you thrive? Or does it make your energy recede? Feel free to share in the comments below.

Hope all is keeping well with you.

Until next time.

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

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The Reason to Avoid Unnecessary Negativity

Following on from my post last week regarding the law of attraction (click here to read, otherwise this one may not make sense), I agree that negative experiences are an essential part of life and growth. I have written about this many times before in both my books and posts.

I know if I hadn’t experienced dark times, I would not have pushed myself forward to be where I am now. Many good things come out of negative situations. I am a big believer in that. Continue reading

Does An Empath Have A Disadvantage With The Law Of Attraction?

Today’s post is about an interesting comment I received on the last post I shared.

When I first read the following comment, my initial reaction was this was a negative response. It ruffled my feathers. I wasn’t sure what it was about. But I then realized there was a reference to the law of attraction in my last post. (Read my last post here).

Here is the comment:

Thinking negatively is absolutely essential if we are to change ourselves. Without negativity there is literally no driving force for change. Shame, depression, despair, sadness, anxiety, disillusionment, guilt, aloneness, self-doubt, self-dissatisfaction, feelings of inferiority etc. force self-aware individuals with a conscience to do better (‘the Theory of Positive Disintegration’, analogous to ‘the dark night of the soul’).

The ‘law of attraction’ – as it’s widely understood – is hogwash. Poor and sick people didn’t set out to be poor and sick people, and thinking happy-clappy thoughts won’t make their reality any nicer. Also, bad things happen to good people, and as well as that all sorts of low-life try to attack good people (where’s the ‘law of attraction’ in that?) There isn’t one genuinely spiritual person who hasn’t gone through an utterly miserable time from others.

Where the ‘law of attraction’ becomes even more pernicious is with new-age internet scammers who tell their victims that the ‘get rich quick’ schemes they bought into didn’t succeed because ‘they weren’t thinking positively enough’.

As I pondered my reply, I realized it would be a lengthy one. So, I decided it was a good opportunity to write a post about it instead, because a) I agree with the comment, and b) because I don’t agree with it and c) because I realize many Empaths may be of the same mind, (and d) because anything that ruffles my feathers is drawing my attention to something that needs addressing). Continue reading

Moving Into A New World or Something Else?

When sifting through some of my old posts, as I do from time to time, I came across one that caught my attention. 

The post is from 2015, so some of you may remember it, but it struck me as being quite apt for what we are seeing all around us today. So, I decided I would share it again.

Here it is:

Have you found that you seem to be getting triggered in negative ways recently?

You’re not alone.

Many Empaths are experiencing this.

You will especially notice these triggers if in the past years, you have significantly raised your vibration and have done lots of work on yourself in mind, body and spirit.

You may find that for most of the time you feel happy, then you come into contact with a certain person and it puts you into a negative place, or you may see a news segment that winds you up. Your thoughts change from being happy to low vibrational.

Thinking negatively is not a fault, humans are hardwired into having more negative thoughts than positive. It’s called negativity bias and stems back to our survival instincts from caveman days. We can brood for hours on dark menacing thoughts whilst positive ones may go unnoticed.

It only takes 17 seconds for a negative thought to take hold, which could then escalate into hours or days worth of dark thinking, which affects both our emotions and our physical health.

So, the question is, why are we getting triggered so much lately and why are we noticing all this negativity?

I don’t tend to write about the ‘dark energies’ of our planet, as it is not something I wish to focus on. But we all know there are both dark and light forces at work here. I choose to believe the dark is on its way out, but it does not seem to want to leave without a fight!

It certainly appears, those of us who have worked hard to change ourselves and raise our vibration are getting distracted and pushed out of alignment. There are many ways this is happening, either through: trauma triggers, psychic attack, career problems, political issues, global affairs, etc. It really depends where your interests and thus focus lies.

If you are disconnected from online media and other media outlets, that promote highly charged negative news, another way to get you is through people. You may find people popping up in your life who act as trauma triggers or you may notice more cruel behaviour in the world around you.

Gloom Feeds Gloom

We all know that our thoughts create our reality. Through the law of attraction, we draw back to us what we focus on. When we are triggered, it can swiftly take us out of a lovely happy place and into a dark or painful place. If we stay focused on negativity too long we then attract back more.

If you find this happening to you, distract yourself the moment you realize you are pondering anything negative, or when you feel your emotions being activated. This post may help.

Remember, we only have a 17 second window to stop ourselves from being drawn into negative situations. The more creative your mind, the quicker you will find yourself being ignited by negativity.

Earlier in the week, when I was pondering the reasons behind the dark energy triggers, and why we are being purposely drawn into emotional conflict, my mind went back to something I read many years ago by Dolores Cannon, about the separating world.

Through her work as a past-life hypnotherapist, Dolores discovered that our world would split in two, becoming high and low vibrational worlds. I don’t know if this is metaphorical or physical, but if you look around, it certainly appears to be happening.

It’s as though the human race has been split. People that see the world one way and people who see it another way. And there does not seem to be any way to debate or discuss certain situations. Some people’s minds seem so closed, that it is almost as though they are living in another reality.

There is so much anger and conflict, that for the Empaths of the world it can be unbearable to live in, if we focus on it. That’s why it is so important to stay disconnected from anything or anyone who drags us into emotional conflict.

Dolores did say the eventual outcome would be wonderful. So, fingers crossed on that one. The video below explains about Dolores’ work and her findings. It is easy to understand and follow.

Sadly, Dolores Cannon passed away in 2014, but if you are interested in her work, she has left an amazing legacy and a wealth of information in books and online videos.

If you have found yourself feeling more drawn into weird conflicts recently, I hope this post lets you know you are not alone.

So, there you go. Although it is an old post it still seems relevant. Maybe what we are seeing all around us is the world splitting, and people moving into different realities.

Until next time.

Diane

 

©Diane Kathrine at Empaths Empowered





 

Living Free From the Fear of Failure & Judgement

Some time ago I came across an article that really resonated with me. In short, the article was about a woman’s realization of how she had imprisoned herself with the fear of shame and failure. The business she owned had not been making any money for a long time. It was bleeding her dry. But because she was so worried of being labelled as a failure, she continued to fight to save the company.

By holding on, however, she was getting into more debt, becoming more stressed and unhappier. Being so caught up with the idea of being ‘seen’ as unsuccessful, she did not listen to the quiet voice within, telling her it was ok to let go. Instead, she was tortured by the loud irrational voice of her ego, telling her she must continue to hold on to her business at all costs, because failure was too shameful and she needed the business to justify her place in society.

When she eventually listened to the ‘quiet voice’, and filed for bankruptcy, she felt a huge relief and an incredible sense of freedom. Finally, she saw that it was her own judgement and fear of failure that had kept her imprisoned and not the business itself. Continue reading

Let’s Talk Social Hangovers

 

As Empaths, I’m sure many of you have experienced a social hangover… I know I certainly have.

So, what exactly is a social hangover and how does it affect us?

Basically, it’s similar to a boozy hangover, except it’s caused from consuming too much people energy and it happens whether you drink alcohol or not.

The physical symptoms are varied from one Empath to the next, but here are just a few: fatigue, headaches and generally feeling blah. For more extreme cases, it may require a day in bed.

Back in the days when I used to drink alcohol, I assumed feeling rough the day after was all down to guzzling too many Budweiser. So, when I ventured out alcohol free, I was surprised to discover I still got the ‘hangover’. I soon clicked on to the fact that it was the aftereffects of being peopled (alcohol had just heightened the impact). Continue reading

Empaths Are Now Being Talked About In The Mainstream Media


I would never normally share two posts within one week, but when I came across this article, I got quite excited and wanted to share it with you.

Empath traits are seldom talked about by anyone other than Empaths. So, to find an article that was published in the MailOnline about the subject made me giddy as a Kipper.

The Woman Who Swears She Can Feel Other People’s Emotions

It seems synchronistic with my last post about the Empath Awakening, that we are now seeing it discussed in the mainstream. Continue reading

The Daily Reset: Important for all Empaths!

 

If you are an Empath this post is important for you to read, especially if you answer yes to the following…

Are you struggling to stay focused? Do you feel enraged by the injustices going on around you? Does it feel like you are forgetting who you are or losing your mind?

If you answered yes to any of those questions you are not alone. Many Empaths are experiencing a strong sense of confusion and separation from their true-self.

Why?

Continue reading

Whose Emotion Are You In? A Guide For Empaths


Is this your emotion you are feeling? Or does it belong to someone else?

Learning to differentiate between ‘whose emotion belongs to whom’ certainly proves to be a challenge for many Empaths.

Not recognizing other people’s energy, within oneself, is a common theme within the Empath world. Just knowing you take on the emotions from others, does not mean you can automatically discern them from your own or are able to prevent them from affecting you. Continue reading

Is it Time to Let Them Go?


Being in harmony with people is essential to an Empath’s health and wellbeing. So, it should go without saying that as Empaths we should be extra vigilant of not only whom we allow into our life but also those we allow to stay.

This issue isn’t about being egotistical or ‘special’, and it’s not about thinking we’re too good for some people. It’s about letting go of those who constantly make us feel bad, who drain our energy and suck the joy from our life. And that should probably include the people who are angry or bitter towards us, those who attack or lie about us to others and those who seem to enjoy seeing us suffer.

Sadly, the people this includes is most often adult family members or friends who we would have at one time considered close. Continue reading

Why Empaths are Hurt by Criticism and How to Prevent it Impacting Your Life

 

There is no escaping this simple fact of life, the majority of Empaths are easily hurt by the criticisms and judgements of others. In some cases, so much so, that it may prevent them from taking any creative risks in life.

Yes, the pain of criticism holds many of us back, for the simple reason it is human nature to avoid anything which causes pain.

But as the old saying goes: ‘The only way to avoid criticism is to say nothing, do nothing and be nothing’. And I doubt there are many Empaths who want to go through life doing nothing. Continue reading

Are You an Introvert Empath?


Many Empaths identify with being an introvert, for the reason that introversion tends to go hand-in-hand with an Empath’s journey.

Even if you started life exhibiting more extrovert ways, the way the world makes you ‘feel’ can trigger or build introvert leanings, such as: a regular need for solitude, not enjoying spending time around people, experiencing social aggravation when around crowds, etc. Continue reading

How do You Know if You are an Empath or Simply Sensitive?

Do you ever wonder whether you are an Empath or not?

Over the years, I have often been asked the question: ‘How do I know for sure if I’m an Empath?’

My answer always tends to be the same: Generally, if you’re an Empath when you discover the term and the traits it encompasses, you just know whether it applies to you or not. It is like a light bulb moment. You finally have an explanation for all that you feel and have experienced throughout your life… But, there are always exceptions. Continue reading

The Controlling Force of Emotions

Continuing on from my last post, where I discussed how being in jobs that do not feel like a fit can lead to depression, as can feeling directionless or out of control in one’s life. Today, I want to further address the subject of power imbalances within an Empath and the need to control what we feel.

As Empaths, many of our emotional sensations are amplified. We react to criticism or reprimands much more than most. However, when out of balance, we become incredibly oversensitive to everyday life situations and get hurt easier than most. Because of this, we may suffer with depression and are more open to attract depressive moods from others (like attracts like).

In my post: Why do Empaths have Such a Strong Sense of Belonging, I made reference to Empaths knowing when something is wrong in their surroundings, even if they don’t know exactly what it is. The fact that so few people have control over their lives makes for a lot of unhappy people. Empaths pick up on the collective sense of dissatisfaction in the populace, whether they are aware of it or not, which can greatly affect their own moods. This can then trap them in negative thinking and thus feelings.

As Empaths, we get down when it seems like we have no control of the way we feel. Which is understandable. Getting bombarded with the emotional energy of others (on top of our own emotions) is no fun, and it can certainly influence the way we operate.

What we pick up from others can shape our life, especially when we are not aware the emotional energy we are experiencing does not belong to us. (If you struggle with defining the emotional energy of others read this.)

But other people’s energy is not the only thing that can lead to emotional instability and a sense of ‘no life-control’. Continue reading

Why Do Empaths Have Such a Strong Sense of Not Belonging?

Too many Empaths go through life feeling like they don’t belong. It’s as though they have been dumped in a reality that is not a fit for them… So why is that?

Even before we discover who we are, as Empaths, we can feel like a giant square peg trying to squeeze into a tiny hole.

We look around at those who glide through life, following the rules laid down by society, who appear contented with the way the system operates and who slot in with others effortlessly. Even if they are unhappy, they never seem to question anything, nor find fault with ‘the way things work’. We may wonder why is it so easy for them to ‘fit in’ but not for us?

There are several reasons for this ‘sense of not belonging’ the Empath has; one of which being the way we ‘feel’. Continue reading