Is this your emotion you are feeling? Or does it belong to someone else?
Learning to differentiate between ‘whose emotion belongs to whom’ certainly proves to be a challenge for many Empaths.
Not recognizing other people’s energy, within oneself, is a common theme within the Empath world. Just knowing you take on the emotions from others, does not mean you can automatically discern them from your own or are able to prevent them from affecting you.
When you pick up heavy emotional energy you can feel it in a number of ways: Good emotions rarely cause problems. But if what you pick up is negative, you may interpret it as the emotion you least enjoy or that which is related to an unresolved issue. It is also common for foreign energy to stoke up anger or irritation, even if the other is not themselves experiencing this emotion.
Because there are so many people who carry stress and hidden pain, it can be difficult for the Empath to avoid when out in public places. And if you have a lot of buried pain, it will make the experience, of picking up someone else’s, so much worse.
The reason for this is, the brain tries to rationalize what the body is feeling and will try to categorize the feelings you take on. If the emotions, you pick up in another, are something similar to what you have experienced from a past experience, the mind will trigger that memory. Which often means you get caught up in painful memories, totally unaware it was triggered by someone else’s energy.
Also, if you are one who dislikes people in your “personal bubble” you will not welcome their emotional energy either and this itself can stoke up dark feelings. Others’ energy suddenly showing up, uninvited, in your energy field can feel invasive and claustrophobic. The energy you pick up does not have to be negative to stir up negativity; being unsolicited is enough to ignite unpleasant feelings. (This post may help you when out in public.)
So how can you tell when an emotion does not belong to you? The easiest and quickest way to make this determination is to speak to the emotions directly:
When you initially sense any type of overpowering emotion say to yourself: if these emotions are not mine, leave me now!
If the feelings do not belong to you, they will promptly start to lose their grip. You will experience a definite shift in the way you feel. It may be subtle but you will feel a change. When you notice this subsidence distract yourself, immediately.
Because negative emotions are powerful. If you don’t take your focus off them they will return. Unpleasant emotions engage unpleasant repetitive thoughts and once your thoughts get wrapped up in the emotions, belonging to others, there is no getting away from them.
Here’s a quick check list to help determine whose emotion you are in:
- Were you feeling happy then within seconds of being in the company of another you felt sad, anxious or angry?
- Do you suddenly find yourself caught up in feelings that are triggering long-forgotten memories?
- Did your mind suddenly become scrambled and your thoughts become foggy?
- Are you suddenly feeling uninspired or lethargic?
- Do you feel like you are experiencing psychic attack?
- Are you experiencing waves of bitterness, anger or irritability (when you don’t normally carry those traits)?
- Does the area around your solar plexus feel fluttery, heavy or uncomfortable?
- Are you feeling fearful with no real reason?
If you answer yes to any of the above it could be an indicator that you are experiencing someone else’s energy and emotions.
The Fear Belonging to Others
It is important to recognize if a fear belongs to you. Just like picking up emotions, the Empath can pick up other people’s irrational fears and take them on as their own. Feeling fear is not always a bad thing, it is often a protecting force, but if it belongs to another it may unnecessarily hold you back in life.
Fear is a powerfully controlling emotion. Because it is so potent, it can be debilitating. Even when it belongs to another.
Fear belonging to someone else, feels much the same as your own. If in doubt to whom the fear belongs, use the same technique as above and make the following statement: If this fear is not mine, leave me now! Say it out loud or in your head. If it is not yours, the fear will start to shift.
Another quick way to discern between your fear (or other type of emotion) and another’s, is to check if you had it before being in their company. For example: You may be going on holiday with a friend who has a secret fear of flying. You are super-excited about the trip, that is until you sit next to your friend on the plane. She hates flying and is terrified but is trying hard not show it. When seated, you suddenly experience a wave of panic wash over you. You don’t question if it’s anyone else’s fear because it seems so real. And, because your friend has not expressed to you, her fear of flying, you don’t suspect it is coming from her. You now think of nothing else but this prevailing wave of fear that is stirring up floods of panic within. It wipes away the joy and excitement, you previously felt, as you become traumatized by the panic. You then may convince yourself you are scared of flying.
You do not have to be connected to a person to feel, and take on, their fear. All it takes is for you to be connected to their energy. If you didn’t have fear about a situation, or event, before being in the company of another, you have to consider that the fear may not belong to you.
Fear creates negative emotions: Negative emotions create lasting memories. If someone or something caused an intense fear, every time you are with them, or in a similar situation, the memory of the emotion will be reignited. This is why it is important to distinguish whose emotion you are in.
The above is a snippet from the book 7 Secrets of the Sensitive.
Until next time,