Take Control of Your Emotions or Your Emotions Will Take Control of Your Life!

 

So here we are again, not long off another year-end, and what a year it’s been! I’m sure 2018 will always be remembered as the year of conflict and division. I know every year has its own crazy vibe, but this one seems particularly explosive with all the dark energy that’s been stirred up.

For those of us who are Empaths, it has certainly been a challenge to stay out of the angry clashing energy, fired up across the world, that has created a huge wave of all-consuming dark emotions!

To top it all off, we’ve arrived once more at the ‘Christmas silly season’. I know many Empaths struggle at this time of year (I was once one of them). All the rushed and stressed emotional energy, being produced by the masses, can prove to be nothing short of exhausting. Even when we stay tucked away, in our own little sanctuaries, the emotional energy is difficult to avoid. And the lack of sun/daylight in the northern hemisphere, means a lack of Vitamin D, and thus extra stress-related colds and flu to deal with.

So, it goes without saying that we all need to step it up at this time of year. We have to work that extra bit harder to stay grounded, balanced and in control of emotions. Which, as you may now be thinking, is not so easy to do. When feeling out-of-sorts from not only the ‘Christmas energy’ but all the other ‘stuff’ we’ve had to endure, working on self is often the last thing we have time or energy for.

I think you’ll agree; this year has gone from one level of trauma to another. The energies have switched from stress to anger to hate to fear to more stress. It’s obvious the populace is being distracted and divided with the intention of keeping us from finding our true-inner-power.

What I mean is, we are in a unique time where past issues are coming up to the surface to be resolved and healed for everyone. Not only in the way of karmic return but in calls to find balance of the body and mind (modern life puts a huge strain on our human bodies). This shows up in many ways: feeling constantly dissatisfied, suffering illness, anxiety, fear, anger and other strong emotions.  There are many other ways in which people receive their inner-calls to make changes and go within.

Instead of being able to address old wounds and or physical issues, as they arise, people are being given reasons to project their emotional pain on to others. Which only serves in keeping the pain alive.

When we are kept angry or distressed, by focusing on the world’s injustices or propaganda, it not only keeps us trapped in a negative mind-set but it stops us from taking the steps to face and heal any physical or emotional wounds that need attention. We then continuously draw back more reasons to feel emotionally low via the law of attraction.

For those Empaths who have already done much inner-work, it sometimes feels like we are being taken back several steps. It doesn’t help that feeling the emotional energy of the world, when it is so negatively charged, can be incredibly isolating.

As I mentioned in my last post, because of constant shifting energy, we need to keep swapping and changing our healing/grounding techniques. But at this time of year it is even more important. If we don’t take control of what we feel, the way we feel will control our life.

So, here I have some winter remedies that I hope will help:

Consciously Unplug

This is so important, even if it’s just for five minutes a day.  By consciously unplugging from all external distractions, it not only allows for a vibrational reset, it shifts our focus. Which helps us break the connection to the emotional energy of others, and allows us to tune into our higher-self.

By simply closing your eyes and focusing on your breath or doing some type of meditative practice, it works well to unplug.

One technique I like to use is the ‘magic triangle breath’.

This may sound strange, but in my mind’s eye I draw a triangle with my breath between my nose and third eye.

If you want to try it: Inhale through your left nostril (you can block the opposite nostril with thumb), taking the breath up to the third eye (centre of forehead), then on the exhale see your breath travel from the third eye down the right nostril and then back over to the left nostril. After a few breaths reverse the flow from right to left, and then keep alternating. (The power of the triangle can really be felt when performing this technique).

The image may help you get a better idea of what I mean (I apologize for the creepy face).

The above technique not only helps you unplug and re-centre, it also helps balance your masculine and feminine energy (learn more here).

Avoid Negative People

This is something I probably don’t need to remind you of, but I know how hard it is at this time of year. Work’s do’s, Xmas family get-togethers and the like, mean we end up spending time with those we wouldn’t normally. But if there’s one thing that can suck dry your last remnants of goodwill, its being around ‘negatives’ or ‘energy vampires’

Did you know, science has even acknowledged that by spending too much time around negative people it can influence health and happiness? There are many studies showing how prolonged ‘people stress’ alters gene expression within the immune system… Meaning: anyone can become sick just by hanging out with toxic people. So, for an Empath, who can wear another person’s emotional energy like a heavy winter coat, it’s double whammy!

So, what can we do to protect our health from people stress?

Well, an easy place to start is:

Eat Lots of Bright Coloured Food

Sadly, I’m not talking about Smarties and M&Ms. I’m talking real food.

By eating lots of lovely bright coloured fruit and veg, it ensures you get lots of vitamins, antioxidants and enzymes which ward off stress-related illnesses (especially colds and flu). If this is difficult, try taking a good range of supplements (read here to learn more about supplements and the Empath).

And, if all else fails have a bath:

Take a Salted-Magnesium-Essential-Oil Bath:

A salt bath with added magnesium and lavender is an incredible combination for instilling calm and balance. It’s also super soothing to your emotions.

Salt clears negative energy, it also heals and softens the skin. Magnesium helps one relax, and boosts energy, supports the endocrine system and aids sleep (quality sleep is essential for repairs). An essential oil, such as lavender, is both relaxing and uplifting. You can buy magnesium bath salts in most supermarkets.

Hope this helps.

Ok, so if I don’t get to post again before Christmas, I hope you all have a truly wonderful time.

Don’t forget to check this out before 30th Dec.

Until next time.

Stay empowered.

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine

 

 

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Empaths Are Now Being Talked About In The Mainstream Media


I would never normally share two posts within one week, but when I came across this article, I got quite excited and wanted to share it with you.

Empath traits are seldom talked about by anyone other than Empaths. So, to find an article that was published in the MailOnline about the subject made me giddy as a Kipper.

The Woman Who Swears She Can Feel Other People’s Emotions

It seems synchronistic with my last post about the Empath Awakening, that we are now seeing it discussed in the mainstream.

I’m sure you’ll read it yourself, but the article claims that our Empath traits are a form of synesthesia:

Wikipedia Definition

Synesthesia is a perceptual phenomenon in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway. People who report a lifelong history of such experiences are known as synesthetes. 

To put synesthesia into laymen’s terms, when someone hears poetry or song, they may see shapes, colours or patterns. For an Empath, however, they feel other people’s emotions as if their own.

I have written extensively in my books about how an Empath’s brain works in relation to experiencing heightened emotions via the limbic system, which apparently has a significant influence on the synesthetic process.

Although, I don’t want to get hung up on ‘labels’ and I believe the traits of an Empath has far more to do with than just being a ‘condition’, it is reassuring to know that it is now recognized as a very real phenomena and not some woo-woo topic.

It also means that we get to talk about the subject more freely. Many Empaths, myself included, don’t talk openly about what we feel and experience for the reason we can sense the disbelief or judgements in others (people find it difficult to believe in a] what they don’t themselves experience, and b] topics not being talked about in the mainstream). Which can in itself be draining as well as disappointing.

All in all, I’d say it is a good day for the Empaths!

So, that’s it for me today.

Hope you’ve had a wonderful weekend.

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine

Why Are So Many Empaths Awakening Now?

 

I hope this post finds you well. It’s been a couple of months since my last blog offering. I’ve been super-busy writing, researching and editing my next book. But, I’ve wanted to address this subject for a while, about something you may yourself have noticed… an Empath awakening.

You’ve probably observed the wave of Empaths who have awakened to who they are in recent years. More and more are coming to understand that many of the challenges, they have faced throughout life, have come about because they are an Empath.

Why is this awakening happening now?

Good question. There has to be a reason. Right?

For the past forty years we have seen a huge spiritual awakening. But it’s only been within the past ten years or so that an Empath’s awareness has been on the increase.

This awakening seems to have been greatly perpetuated by the fact most of us felt lost or disconnected from society and we needed to understand why. But the other fact we have to consider to this uprising is the way the world is now.

All around us there has been a surge of crazy conflict energy that is being purposely stoked. The energy of which spreads across the world like wildfire, via the internet and other channels, and is hard to extinguish. Perhaps, this could be the reason behind this Empath emergence.

The theme surrounding an Empath’s awakening appears to be similar from one person to the next. For most, it occurs after enduring dark times, or when we start to ‘work on ourselves’. For example: we may begin a yoga or meditation practice to help us deal with the sense of disconnect we feel, or we may follow a calling to study metaphysical or holistic subjects as a way to gain a greater understanding of life or to become a better person. But after adopting new ways of being, or opening up our awareness it triggered strange physical and emotional responses within. Or, in other words, it rouses dormant Empath traits.

The thing is, when we start to work on ourselves our ‘Sensitivities’ heighten. We not only feel all energy more intensely, but we may also find that we become sensitive to everyone and everything.

What do I mean by this? Well, as an Empath, we have always felt the emotions and energy of others (often without realising), but when we start working on ourselves, we come to sense it more powerfully. This shows up in different ways: places frequented without problem suddenly induce exhaustion. The negative person, who used to drain us, now floors us. We start noticing injustices or seeing things in the world that were previously invisible to us. We may become more sensitive to food, chemicals and inauthenticity. There are many other ways, but the first sign of the awakening tends to be an increased sensitivity to people energy. Continue reading

The Daily Reset: Important for all Empaths!

If you are an Empath this post is important for you to read, especially if you answer yes to the following…

Are you struggling to stay focused? Do you feel enraged by the injustices going on around you? Does it feel like you are forgetting who you are or losing your mind?

If you answered yes to any of those questions you are not alone. Many Empaths are experiencing a strong sense of confusion and separation from their true-self.

Why?

Because of the triggering chaos energy that is all around us. The media is stirring up so much hate and uncertainty that it is felt by everyone, but it is particularly troubling for the Empaths. This energy is so potent it is difficult to keep it out of our heads and it becomes easy to forget ourselves.

You may worry that you are losing your mind, you can have a fuzzy brain, you might experience waves of anger or sadness, you could feel helpless or hopeless. It’s almost as if the mind has been hijacked and whilst we stay connected to the media, in all its shapes and forms, we will continue to struggle with these issues. However, I do realise avoiding all media outlets is near impossible for many and therefore it is so important to do a daily reset…

Those who control the media want to control people’s minds. When something controls your mind it also controls your thoughts and your energy. Bad news on all levels! Social media’s very nature is designed to be addictive, to draw you in and keep you going back for more. It has the power to activate your dopamine levels and, because of this, your body and brain wants to go back for another hit. You might think you are choosing to peruse online media outlets, but it is actually a reaction in your brain that is making the choice for you.

The fear mongering, used by the mainstream media, is often a tactic used to keep people controlled, distracted and divided. There is rarely any information shared that is uplifting, inspiring or ‘feel good’. By keeping everyone preoccupied by negative political opinions, global disasters, wars, etc. it keeps everyone in a low vibrating space.  These types of stories create anger and fear. All of which builds negative energy and conflict!

When conflicts arise, both in the media and out on the streets, a blanket of massively contagious, dark energy is produced. Which when at it’s worse is difficult to avoid, no matter how much you work on staying grounded and protected. Negativity generates negativity. Negative emotions are contagious and are subliminally taken on even by those who aren’t Sensitive. People then get swept along by the irrational moods being intentionally perpetuated by the media. They breed and feed.  It is a type of gaslighting.

Wikipedia defines gaslighting as a form of psychological manipulation that seeks to sow the seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group, making them question their own memory, perception and even sanity! By using persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction and lying it attempts to destabilize the victims’ beliefs.

So yes, when the mainstream media is gaslighting it stirs up all kinds of malevolence, which the Empaths take on, often without realising. This dark energy can seep into your conscience without your knowing and can shape your opinions and beliefs. It catches you off guard. And because the populace is continuously fed more reasons to become fearful, infuriated or dissatisfied, and very little to feel positive and cheerful about, low-level energy continues to escalate.

Whether you pay attention to the propaganda stirred up by the media or not, you will still be affected by the emotional energy it produces. At times, the energy of which is so overwhelming, it can seep into your thoughts, even during sleep.

What can we do?

We must work hard to stay unplugged and in balance, otherwise we will get swept along with all the hysteria. By doing a daily reset of mind, body and spirit it will help keep us vibrating in our higher energy and keep us protected. Here’s some ways to do that:

Daily Reset for Empaths

1. Get out in nature daily: Walk in woodlands or by the sea for at least 30 minutes a day. If you live in a city go to the park and stay near the trees (see this post to learn why it is so beneficial). If you live in a desert or have no access to sea air or dense greenery, the next best thing is a salt bath.

2. Meditate: Meditating is essential. Every day, we need to quieten the mind and clear it through meditation. Even if you do it for only 3 minutes it is more beneficial than not doing it at all. Use breathing exercises to calm your mind, then follow it with a mini meditation. A good one to use is focusing on your third eye (centre of forehead) and see it as a blank screen whilst listening to your breath. Learn the benefits of meditation for an Empath  here.

3. Exercise: When you exercise your body releases endorphins which make you feel good. It not only keeps you physically fit but also works all the systems in your body and keeps you happier.

4. Avoid eating rubbish food: This isn’t so much as being part of a reset but more a way of being. Essential nevertheless. When you eat rubbish, you feel more rubbish and end up eating more rubbish. It’s a vicious cycle. Keep your food fresh and unprocessed. If you want to learn more about how certain foods impact your Empath life see here.

5. Watch/read uplifting or spiritual material: We need to keep reminding ourselves of who we are and our true beliefs, otherwise we will be swamped by the fear-mongering opinions and hate that is spewed out by the media. If you spend a lot of time on your laptop keep a link to an inspirational website or YouTube videos. Also try to limit your time on the internet. I know it is difficult, especially if you use the internet for work or if it is your way with connecting with others, but the longer you stay connected, the worse you will feel.

6. Tax your mind: Do crossword puzzles, Sudoku, learn poetry or a language, even for just ten minutes a day. Anything that keeps your mind positively stimulated and distracted from the gaslighting will help keep your brain empowered. It also helps in preventing your thoughts from going over to the dark side.

7. Drink lots of water: Drinking lots of water is so simple to do, but many of us forget. Not only is water an elixir of youth, but it is incredible for keeping you grounded and ensuring your body and mind stays in perfect working order. This post explains just how amazing water is.

If you have any techniques that you find works for you, please feel free to share them in the comments below. Here are a couple of posts that offers ways to stay grounded and protected:

Easy Ways to stay grounded

An Empath’s guide

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time,

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

 

Whose Emotion Are You In? A Guide For Empaths

Is this your emotion you are feeling? Or does it belong to someone else?

Learning to differentiate between ‘whose emotion belongs to whom’ certainly proves to be a challenge for many Empaths.

Not recognizing other people’s energy, within oneself, is a common theme within the Empath world. Just knowing you take on the emotions from others, does not mean you can automatically discern them from your own or are able to prevent them from affecting you.

When you pick up heavy emotional energy you can feel it in a number of ways: Good emotions rarely cause problems. But if what you pick up is negative, you may interpret it as the emotion you least enjoy or that which is related to an unresolved issue. It is also common for foreign energy to stoke up anger or irritation, even if the other is not themselves experiencing this emotion.

Because there are so many people who carry stress and hidden pain, it can be difficult for the Empath to avoid when out in public places. And if you have a lot of buried pain, it will make the experience, of picking up someone else’s, so much worse.

The reason for this is, the brain tries to rationalize what the body is feeling and will try to categorize the feelings you take on. If the emotions, you pick up in another, are something similar to what you have experienced from a past experience, the mind will trigger that memory. Which often means you get caught up in painful memories, totally unaware it was triggered by someone else’s energy.

Also, if you are one who dislikes people in your “personal bubble” you will not welcome their emotional energy either and this itself can stoke up dark feelings. Others’ energy suddenly showing up, uninvited, in your energy field can feel invasive and claustrophobic. The energy you pick up does not have to be negative to stir up negativity; being unsolicited is enough to ignite unpleasant feelings. (This post may help you when out in public.)

So how can you tell when an emotion does not belong to you? The easiest and quickest way to make this determination is to speak to the emotions directly:

When you initially sense any type of overpowering emotion say to yourself: if these emotions are not mine, leave me now!

If the feelings do not belong to you, they will promptly start to lose their grip. You will experience a definite shift in the way you feel. It may be subtle but you will feel a change. When you notice this subsidence distract yourself, immediately.

Why?

Because negative emotions are powerful. If you don’t take your focus off them they will return. Unpleasant emotions engage unpleasant repetitive thoughts and once your thoughts get wrapped up in the emotions, belonging to others, there is no getting away from them.

Here’s a quick check list to help determine whose emotion you are in:

  • Were you feeling happy then within seconds of being in the company of another you felt sad, anxious or angry?
  • Do you suddenly find yourself caught up in feelings that are triggering long-forgotten memories?
  • Did your mind suddenly become scrambled and your thoughts become foggy?
  • Are you suddenly feeling uninspired or lethargic?
  • Do you feel like you are experiencing psychic attack?
  • Are you experiencing waves of bitterness, anger or irritability (when you don’t normally carry those traits)?
  • Does the area around your solar plexus feel fluttery, heavy or uncomfortable?
  • Are you feeling fearful with no real reason?

If you answer yes to any of the above it could be an indicator that you are experiencing someone else’s energy and emotions.

The Fear Belonging to Others

It is important to recognize if a fear belongs to you. Just like picking up emotions, the Empath can pick up other people’s irrational fears and take them on as their own. Feeling fear is not always a bad thing, it is often a protecting force, but if it belongs to another it may unnecessarily hold you back in life.

Fear is a powerfully controlling emotion. Because it is so potent, it can be debilitating. Even when it belongs to another.

Fear belonging to someone else, feels much the same as your own. If in doubt to whom the fear belongs, use the same technique as above and make the following statement: If this fear is not mine, leave me now! Say it out loud or in your head. If it is not yours, the fear will start to shift.

Another quick way to discern between your fear (or other type of emotion) and another’s, is to check if you had it before being in their company. For example: You may be going on holiday with a friend who has a secret fear of flying. You are super-excited about the trip, that is until you sit next to your friend on the plane. She hates flying and is terrified but is trying hard not show it. When seated, you suddenly experience a wave of panic wash over you. You don’t question if it’s anyone else’s fear because it seems so real. And, because your friend has not expressed to you, her fear of flying, you don’t suspect it is coming from her. You now think of nothing else but this prevailing wave of fear that is stirring up floods of panic within. It wipes away the joy and excitement, you previously felt, as you become traumatized by the panic. You then may convince yourself you are scared of flying.

You do not have to be connected to a person to feel, and take on, their fear. All it takes is for you to be connected to their energy. If you didn’t have fear about a situation, or event, before being in the company of another, you have to consider that the fear may not belong to you.

Fear creates negative emotions: Negative emotions create lasting memories. If someone or something caused an intense fear, every time you are with them, or in a similar situation, the memory of the emotion will be reignited. This is why it is important to distinguish whose emotion you are in.

The above is a snippet from the book 7 Secrets of the Sensitive.

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time,

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

 

 

Is it Time to Let Them Go?


Being in harmony with people is essential to an Empath’s health and wellbeing. So, it should go without saying that as Empaths we should be extra vigilant of not only whom we allow into our life but also those we allow to stay.

This issue isn’t about being egotistical or ‘special’, and it’s not about thinking we’re too good for some people. It’s about letting go of those who constantly make us feel bad, who drain our energy and suck the joy from our life. And that should probably include the people who are angry or bitter towards us, those who attack or lie about us to others and those who seem to enjoy seeing us suffer.

Sadly, the people this includes is most often adult family members or friends who we would have, at one time, considered close.

Unfortunately, most people manage to invoke an emotional response within the Empath at some point, and it is often the kindest of people who carry the most pain. If we were to let go of all those who ignited an undesirable emotional reaction, we would probably be left with no one in our life. Occasionally being triggered or feeling another’s pain is nothing compared to what certain people can make an Empath feel, especially those who seem to thrive on ‘all things negative’.

Super-charged-negative people can drain your energy within a matter of minutes of being in their presence. Too often, you end up wearing the energy of these people for days after exposure. And nothing you try seems to prevent their dark vibes seeping into your aura.

Because an Empath cares and has deep empathy for those suffering, they tend to avoid doing anything that, they consider, may cause pain to others. Even to those who refuse to change and have allowed their unhappiness to make them bitter and angry and who blame the world for their unhappiness. It is for this reason many Empaths keep in their lives those who cause them great unhappiness.

Empaths often feel they have a responsibility to help others help themselves to change. But many of those people do not want to change and, although they may protest otherwise, they actually enjoy living under a cloud of negativity.

It might sound selfish to suggest that one must always put the emotional health of self first, but it’s true. We have a responsibility to keep our body and mind healthy. If another continually causes you stress it will eventually make you ill (continuous stress causes illness).

If a food or substance made you violently ill or caused you to feel depressed, you would likely avoid it; the same should be applied to those who cause you emotional turmoil or those who take pleasure in putting or keeping you down.

 

You may learn from bad experiences, but you don’t need to keep experiencing another person’s negativity to grow.

Why do Empaths get so badly affected by the negativity of others?

Most Empaths tend to continuously work on making themselves better people. When you work on yourself, and make any positive changes to your mind, body or spirit, you become cleaner and purer. Your vibration then speeds up and anything of a lower vibration can feel plain awful… and that includes negative people.

Another fact that has to be taken into consideration is that when you vibrate in a ‘higher space’ it can cause a reaction in those around you. People sense change, whether it is visually apparent or not. They feel when another has changed or stepped up their frequency and some don’t like it.

You have probably already noticed that when in an emotionally low place, some friends prefer you that way. Yet when you make changes and put yourself in a high vibrating space, those same friends don’t like it. They may try to bring you back down and attempt to extinguish your inner-light and happiness.

Because not everyone is ready to raise their vibration they may try to draw you back down to their level and they can do this through snide remarks or mean behaviour. Some still have lessons to learn at their level and are not ready to move forwards, but they may resent the fact that you are.

The purpose of an Empath’s suffering

The further I travel down this road, the more I see the higher purpose served behind the dark behaviours displayed in people.

When we endure difficulties, by experiencing challenging situations or relationships, we eventually come to realise what we need to change for our own growth and development.

We can learn so much from the bad behaviour of others. Even if it’s as simple as developing the courage to say no, or believe in one’s own self-worth, let go of the need to be in control or to finally walk away from those who continually make us feel bad.

Any undesirable behaviour that repeats, in any type of relationship, is something that needs to be investigated. Repetition highlights flaws or issues that need to be worked on and learnt from. We all learn from the bad situations presented in life. But if the same emotional scenarios keep playing out, no one is gaining, learning or growing from the situation and it is time to cut the cord. (If others truly care and want to keep you in their life they will work to change their ways.)

Once you have learned from an experience you don’t need to re-learn it over and over. You may learn from bad experiences, but you don’t need to keep experiencing the same peoples’ bad behaviour to grow.

This is not about being spiteful or uncaring. You can be grateful for all they have shown you in life and still keep the love you have for them. But if you know in your heart that a relationship is doing you more harm than good and it feels time to let them go, then it is probably time to let them go.

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time…

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine

 

Why Empaths are Hurt by Criticism and how to Prevent it Impacting Your Life

There is no escaping this simple fact of life, the majority of Empaths are easily hurt by the criticisms and judgements of others. In some cases, so much so, that it may prevent them from taking any creative risks in life.

Yes, the pain of criticism holds many of us back, for the simple reason it is human nature to avoid anything which causes pain.

But as the old saying goes: ‘The only way to avoid criticism is to say nothing, do nothing and be nothing’. And I doubt there are many Empaths who want to go through life doing nothing.

As a blogger, an author and an ‘active poster on Facebook’, I have come across my fair share of criticism. Some of it being quite harsh. And, I will not lie, it does not feel good.

I have often questioned why is it that I feel so disconcerted when someone insults me or criticises my work and the best answer I can come up with is because I care.

It is not that I am so much concerned about being ‘disliked’, but more that I don’t want to cause insult or feel I have hurt or offended another by my offerings or opinions. I also get a little rattled when someone has misread my intentions or made wrong assumptions about me or my work.

That said, I also know criticism can be a great learning tool. Especially in regard to anything work-related or creative. We are often too close to our own work to see where things could be improved. An honest, constructively critical eye can help us see what we were previously blinded to. But, sadly, there are too many people who are insulting in their criticism. Instead of using a critique as a way to help another, some deliver it in such a way that is belittling or cutting Continue reading

Are You an Introvert Empath?


Many Empaths identify with being an introvert, for the reason that introversion tends to go hand-in-hand with an Empath’s journey. Even if you started life exhibiting more extrovert ways, the way the world makes you ‘feel’ can trigger or build introvert leanings, such as: a regular need for solitude, not enjoying spending time around people, experiencing social aggravation when around crowds, etc.

Did you know that nearly 75% of the world are extroverts? So, if you consider yourself to be  an introvert Empath you are a minority and that is something to be celebrated. But even if you consider yourself to be extrovert, you may also carry many introvert tendencies.

Sadly, many Empaths, or those who sit in between the spectrum of introvert and extrovert as an ambivert, often feel that their introvert ways can hold them back in life.

Generally speaking, most Empaths go through a stage of excessive introversion at some point in their life, especially around times of awakening, spiritual development or major life transitions (extreme introversion can also be a sign of major imbalance or even nutrition deficiency please see this post for more information), it tends to be part of their path of evolvement. Introvert ways also become more apparent with age.

Having introvert traits, in this extrovert-driven world, often brings challenges and hurdles to overcome. So much so, it can leave many Empaths feeling out of place, as though they’ve been dumped into a reality where the rules have been written for everyone else. It’s a world where fitting in with social expectations often means living a lie.

There is so much pressure to exhibit extrovert ways, both in the workplace and in social situations, that many introverts are having to ‘fake it’ in order to ‘fit in’. But, if there’s one thing an Empath dislikes its having to pretend (unless they’re actors up on stage) or act in a way that does not represent their truth. They do not like to conform and they do not like having to live a lie by changing their true behaviour to appease others.

Many introvert Empaths prefer not to be the centre of attention and often dislike networking, small talk and fake friendliness. But as this is an expected way to progress in the modern world it can leave a number of Empaths at odds with themselves.

Some may believe their lack of social skills is down to shyness, but there is a considerable difference between being shy and being introvert.

Although some introverts can be shy, that is not always the reason they do not like excess social interaction. Shyness is born from a fear: a fear of judgement or social rejection and experiencing social anxiety when interacting with others. An introvert can happily engage others in conversation (when not drained or overwhelmed) at social events, they just don’t like having the pressure to do so if it’s not what they want. They prefer to observe a room rather than work it. And as an Empath can become easily overwhelmed by the dichotomy of energies produced by large groups, social engagements can be a thing of dread. Continue reading

30 Ways to Unleash Your Empath Power!

Sometimes we all need gentle reminders of ways we can help ourselves to live a happier, more empowered life as an Empath.

But it’s also important to remember, we attract who and what we are. To draw more magnificence into your Empath life, it helps to develop a more magnificent way of being.

Here are 30 quick ways of being that can bring about incredible changes to your life, and unleash your hidden power, just by applying them:

1. Let Go of Expectations of Others

Expectations of others can cause untold pain and frustration. Let them go and it will free you from disappointment. You cannot and should not control everything in life. Acceptance is essential if you want to live a happy, healthy life.

2. Release Resentment or Anger

Why let another’s actions blight your life? Resentment makes you bitter. Let it go. Anger only punishes the bearer. Breathe though and release it.

3. Select Relationships With Prudence

As an Empath, you can become who you spend most time with. Choose your friends wisely.

4. Still Chaotic Thoughts

Stress and unhappiness are often born from chaotic Empath musings. By quietening your thoughts it will help free you from any unnecessary pain they cause.

5. Judge Not

Judging makes you fearful of judgements. Choosing not to judge, yourself or others, helps you find emotional freedom.

6. Stop Procrastinating

Don’t put off today what you can do tomorrow. Why waste life thinking about what you could be doing? It’s time to do it! Continue reading

How do You Know if You are an Empath or Simply Sensitive?

Do you often struggle to know where you fit in or wonder whether you are an Empath or not?

Over the years, I have often been asked the question: ‘How do I know for sure if I’m an Empath?’

My answer always tends to be the same: Generally, if you’re an Empath when you discover the term and the traits it encompasses you just know whether it applies to you or not. It is like a light bulb moment. You finally have an explanation for all that you feel and have experienced throughout your life… But, there are always exceptions.

In this post we will look at two traits that truly define an Empath.

What does it matter?

Although I don’t like to get too caught up in labels, I do think knowing and understanding who you are can help you on your journey. Also, knowing your defining traits can help you find balance in life. There is also the fact to consider that what might help an Empath, might not help the sensitive person. For example: dealing with emotional pain you are picking up from another is different to dealing with emotional pain caused by past trauma.

Ultimately, we all want to live the best life we can. We want to be happy and find stability and we want to leave these bodies in the hopes we did little harm. Knowing who we are and what strengthens or weakens us can help us achieve this.

The reason I think some sensitive people get confused over whether they are an Empath is because they feel things so strongly and share many of the Empath traits. But there are two traits that sets the Empath apart:

  • An ability to feel/read the emotional energy of others.
  • Heightened empathy.

Feeling emotions and the energy of other people

The chief trait of an Empath is feeling other people’s emotions, moods, buried pain and energy, but they also have incredible emotional intelligence and empathy for others, even if they don’t actually like spending time with people.

We will now look at how these traits work:

As already noted, when an Empath discovers the term, it is the moment their life makes sense. Everything they have experienced finally has a reason. But still, there are many more layers to uncover…

If you have spent a lifetime feeling the emotional energy of others, without realising, it may take a while to differentiate these emotions from your own.

As humans, we are very good at hiding our true feelings and just because someone has a smile on their face, does not mean they are not experiencing emotional pain. But an Empath will always feel what another doesn’t show.

There are a number of ways in which you may experience another’s emotional energy:

  • You might suddenly feel insecure when in their presence (if they have low self-esteem, worry what others think or have social hang-ups).
  • You may experience waves of sadness or you may want to burst into tears (if the other is grieving or emotionally low).
  • You could suddenly fill with rage or annoyance or get stabbing pains around certain chakras (the other has hidden anger).
  • You sense a heaviness around the pit of your stomach (they have buried issues they refuse to deal with).
  • You might feel anxious or constricted around the chest, you could also experience palpitations (often happens when there is a clash of energy).
  • You start to act differently or take on their personality traits, especially if they have a dominant personality. (Read more about this here).

There are many other ways an Empath will interpret the emotional energy of others. They can even pick up others’ emotions and thoughts when not in their presence (read more about this here), especially if they are directed at them.

Heightened empathy

This trait is a very obvious, but not much talked about, way of an Empath. But nevertheless, heightened empathy is a prominent trait and a very big part of Empath life, which goes hand in hand with emotional intelligence.

Because an Empath knows how it feels to be hurt by another’s words or actions, they will go out of their way not to do it to themselves (but Empaths are still humans. They can still suffer anger or may occasionally lash out when they are in pain).

Empaths often consider how their words or actions may be interpreted and will be careful not to cause offence. They are often so conscious of not intentionally hurting another—either through the written or verbal word (criticism, belittlement, etc.), or through their actions or behaviour—that they are wary of what they share so as not to offend or hurt others… Which has to be said, is near impossible in a world of varying opinions and beliefs.

Again, we are all human and we can still unintentionally do or say something that offends or upsets. But if an Empath realises they have done or said something which hurts another it will eat them up for days, weeks, months and even years.

An Empath experiences incredible pain if they see others (human or animal) suffer. Even seeing suffering from afar can leave the Empath near heartbroken.

They also hate to let others down. For example: they might go out, on a social event, even though they feel ill, overwhelmed or fatigued, so as not to risk hurting anyone’s feelings.

I am by no means suggesting that a sensitive person does not have empathy or emotional intelligence. What I am saying is, in an Empath it is incredibly heightened. So much so, it can take them a long time to understand why others don’t have the same level of consideration.

(If you know that you are an Empath but your empathy has all but gone out of the window, after a lifetime of let-downs, there’s a good chance you could be quite out of balance. You may find the following posts beneficial: here, here, here, and here.)

Intuition

I was also going to add heightened intuition to the traits that truly define an Empath. But as someone can be intuitively savvy and have an ability to read someone, but not be an Empath, I decided against it. That said, it is still a defining trait, which most Empaths use to navigate through life.

All humans have intuitive senses, just as they also have the ability to sense energy in others and feel an atmosphere. In Empaths, however, these traits are incredibly heightened.

So, there you go. If you were not sure if being an Empath applies to you, I hope this helps you decide. Or if you are an Empath, helps you understand your traits a little better.

Until next time…

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

 

 

 

Are You Dealing With the Aftermath of Strange Energy?

Have you been feeling off this past week or so? Have you been picking up dark energy, feeling fatigued, frustrated, edgy or anxious? Has your appetite increased or have you been craving sugary foods?

If you answered yes to any of the above, you’re not alone. There’s certainly been a strange energy lingering, which is very likely due to aftereffects of the solar activity last week. Read more about it here.

When there are any shifts or changes in energy or excessive solar activity, the effects can ricochet out and be felt for days or weeks after by an Empath.

I wouldn’t normally put out a post so close to my last one, but as I have observed some strange behaviour and felt a real heaviness in the energy these past several days, I thought it a good idea to send this out in case any of you have been impacted.

I posted the following article a couple of years ago, but as it is still as relevant today as when I initially wrote it, the advice still applies…

In recent years there has been such a lot happening with energetic changes. And anything to do with energy shifting will always affect the Empath in weird and wonderful ways.

But it is how it impacts others that might disrupt your life as an Empath.

When there is any type of ‘shift’ it usually brings to the surface that which has long been buried within the populace. Which often causes conflict, activates anger issues and finger-pointing.

If as an Empath you experience waves of feeling emotionally floored, angry, anxious or under attack, with no real reason for it, it could simply be down to a shift.

When these shifts happen you may, at times, feel like you are out-of-body, observing life as it is going on around you, but not really feeling part of it. It might seem as though you are watching helplessly from the side-lines as others refuse to face the truths of themselves or of this world and that everywhere people seem angry and preoccupied with issues or concerns. They are busy looking for ways to project this anger and they lash out, which then fuels it further.

This destructive emotional energy then just builds and builds and becomes more overwhelming for those of us who are Sensitive.

When we are simply observing the madness going on around us, in a detached way, it does us no harm. But it is too easy to become embroiled in it all and thus take on emotional energy that does not belong to us.

protection

Because the ‘anger energy’ stirred up by shifts, can be powerful, our mind wants to search out a logical explanation and reason for it. Even if the emotion doesn’t belong to us.

For example, if you had a disagreement with a friend or family member in the past where you felt betrayed or treated unjustly, you might find yourself festering over those memories; even though you have already forgiven those involved or let the situation go.

But if the mind cannot find a memory to attach the emotional energy to, it will look for something else to connect with. You may find yourself drawn into an injustice happening to a friend or family member. A political issue, that would not normally garner your attention, suddenly draws you in and winds you up the wrong way. Or you may become engaged in an issue that isn’t really there.

As Empaths, when we absorb strong emotional energy belonging to another we can still be tricked into believing it is our own. No matter how aware or how much work we have done on ourselves, we can still be taken off guard by these potent energies

Here are some ways in which you might experience energy shifts:

1. Waking Up Vexed: This is a common theme. Waking up in the morning, or in the middle of the night, with your mind already focusing on some past injustice, that had not even been remotely on your mind. These memories take over your thoughts which then trigger emotional responses. If you start your day in a low mood, you will draw to you more situations that match this low mood energy and the darker your day becomes. Continue reading

The Controlling Force of Emotions

Continuing on from my last post, where I discussed how being in jobs that do not feel like a fit can lead to depression, as can feeling directionless or out of control in one’s life. Today, I want to further address the subject of feeling a power imbalance as an Empath and a need to control what we feel.

When out of balance or out of control, as an Empath, many of our emotional sensations are amplified. We become oversensitive to everyday life situations and get hurt easily. We may suffer more with depression and are open to attract depressive moods from others (like attracts like).

In my post: Why do Empaths have Such a Strong Sense of Belonging, I made reference to Empaths knowing when something is wrong in their surroundings, even if they don’t know exactly what it is. The fact that so few people have control over their lives makes for a lot of unhappy people. Empaths pick up on the collective sense of dissatisfaction in the populace, which can bring them down. This can then also hold them back from their own forwards momentum.

As Empaths, we get down when it seems like we have no control of the way we feel. Which is understandable. Getting bombarded with the emotional energy of others (on top of our own emotions) is no fun and it can certainly influence the way we operate as humans and Empaths.

What we pick up from others can shape our life, especially if we are not aware the emotional energy we are experiencing does not belong to us. (If you struggle with defining the emotional energy of others read this.)

But other people’s energy is not the only thing that can lead to emotional instability and a sense of ‘no life-control’. Continue reading

Finding Purpose as an Empath and Being in Control

Last month, I happened across a great piece in The Guardian about depression and mental health, that really struck a chord with me.

Basically, the article said that depression is not about chemical imbalances—as it has been touted by the scientific and medical communities for many years—but more about power imbalances and a lack of control. (Even though it was not written with the Empath in mind, I recommend that you read it. It’s quite enlightening.) Here is a link to the article:

Most Empaths and Sensitives are prone to having bouts of depression and or depressive moods. Although we can often link these gloomy periods to spending time with overly negative people, being around those who act as trauma triggers, or eating unsuitable foods, etc. but power imbalances, and a lack of life-control is something we should also consider.

A lack of control being linked to depression makes total sense. Not having power in one’s life also equates to feelings of helplessness and the sense of walking aimlessly. When we feel we are not in control of our life, and have no direction it might also be said that we have no purpose.

Everyone needs purpose. To have a reason to get up in the morning to do something not only that we enjoy but that we know we are good at. But how many people can make that claim? Not many. Most are stuck in jobs not for the joy or purpose it gives them, but for the pay-check.

Anyone who is creative and/or intelligent (and I don’t just mean educated) are naturally inclined to want to be in control of their destiny and have a reason for being. Granted, some think they would prefer others to make their decisions for them—often born from having a fear of making the wrong decision or a lack of belief in self—but someone else controlling our life or purpose will never bring happiness.

Over 80% of the workforce are unfulfilled and unhappy in their work. That’s a lot of people.

If we consider a lot of people went into professions chosen by their parents, or they chose their careers before they got to know who they were, it makes total sense. After all, who knows at sixteen what they will want to do for the rest of their lives. Not many people. We change so much from when in our teenage years to when we are in our thirties. This, I believe, is a reason that so many people find themselves unhappy in their work in later life. They didn’t choose their vocation or they chose too young.

The lack of life-control in society means we end up living in conflict. Inside, we want to do something that feels meaningful and gives us purpose. In reality, many are stuck working to pay for mortgages, bills and children, and to fund a lifestyle.

What we are told will make us happy rarely does because one size does not fit all. People feel like they are not in control.

I often refer to myself as being a ‘quiet control freak’. And that is not because I secretly want to rule others or be on some kind of ‘power trip’ with them. It’s because I want to be in control of my life… at least as much as I can. I realise we can’t control everything. But I do want to control what I do, where I go and how my time is used, I also want to be in control of whose energy I’m in. So, I tend to have a problem if others try to control me or if their energy is overbearing. The ‘quiet’ comes in because instead of being argumentative or objectionable, with those who force control, I quietly back away.

Having a desire to control one’s own life is not a bad thing. We are at the helm of our own ships and it is up to us to set our own course and destination. We should be able to do this when we are ready to do so (which is rarely at the age we are expected).

Not being in control can seem like a form of imprisonment, as can feeling forced to do work we have no passion for or interest in. That is not freedom. Humans are supposed to have freewill. We also need to know we have choices, even if we don’t choose to use them.

Too often Sensitive people are made to feel small and insignificant by those who enjoy undermining others. In our bid to overcome this we may search for positions of power or wealth in the belief they will make us whole or worthy. Alas, this is often not the case. Even if we achieve great status, power and vast material wealth, if we do not feel in control or if we are not following our true calling a void remains inside.

The article I linked to above, an extract from Johann Hari’s book: ‘Lost Connections’, suggests that the depression most experience is caused by our inner-self trying to raise our awareness that we are off-course. ‘It’s telling us that our natural psychological needs are not being met and it is a form of grief.’ Which I totally agree with.

We need to listen to our emotional signals and this is something I write a lot about:

By listening to our gut’s promptings and intuition it can save us unnecessary heartache. As an Empath, however, defining these signals is a challenge. Because we feel everything so powerfully, it is difficult to discern the trigger of our own emotions, and those that belong to others.  But, speaking from experience, this is something we can all learn to overcome.

In the past, I have had times when I suffered with mild depression or experienced low moods, both of which pushed me to find the cause and make necessary changes to my life. Nowadays, if I experience a gloomy mood, I can link it back to either eating a food I shouldn’t (normally containing high levels of lectins), having spent too much time in peopled places or around excess negativity (or there’s been intense shifts in energy). Because I have learnt to interpret my own signals and triggers, I try to follow what is right for me. There is nothing worse than experiencing low moods unnecessarily.

If we are constantly down or depressed, these are our inner-messages telling us something is not right either with the path we are walking or the way we are living our lives.

If you regularly read my posts, you may already know I am a great believer that bad things happen for good reasons. We just don’t see it at the time. Depression can be a call for change, our change. But we have to question the feelings we experience and find the root cause. Which will be different for everyone.

We need to focus on taking back our power and that starts with getting in control of what we can.

To live happily as Empaths, staying in control is something we must work on daily, otherwise the world, and the way it makes us feel, will swallow us up.

Because this is a vast subject and an area many Empaths struggle with, I will continue the theme in my next post. But if you want to look at ways to take back control here are some posts that may help you on your way.

Are You Leaking Energy?

What is an Empath’s Purpose?

Transform Your Empath Life with This One Thing

An Empath’s Guide

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time.

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

Why Do Empaths Have Such a Strong Sense of Not Belonging?

Too many Empaths go through life feeling like they don’t belong. It’s as though they have been dumped in a reality that is not a fit for them… So why is that?

Even before we discover who we are, as Empaths, we can feel like a giant square peg trying to squeeze into a tiny hole.

We look around at those who glide through life, following the rules laid down by society, who appear contented with the way the system operates and who slot in with others effortlessly. Even if they are unhappy, they never seem to question anything, nor find fault with ‘the way things work’. We may wonder why is it so easy for them to ‘fit in’ but not for us?

There are several reasons for this ‘sense of not belonging’ the Empath has; one of which being the way we ‘feel’. Continue reading

A Guide to Surviving Christmas for the Empath

As I was nosing through some of my old posts, I came across one I posted two Christmases ago (read it here). It made me smile because I remembered how much I disliked the month of December and how bad I always felt when it came to the ‘Silly Season’.

But this year, I have loved every minute of the month. I have loved the cold, damp darkness and wrapping up in warm winter woollies. I have admired the twinkling lights dangling from the trees and houses in the neighbourhood and I have loved socializing and getting together with friends.

Although I still choose not to participate in the ‘material side’ of Christmas, I am now able to enjoy the month without being taken down by the ‘crazy energy’ it produces. And I know this change is due to the fact I continue to work on myself, as an Empath, and I am always finding new ways to overcome the many obstacles life throws us.

However, I know how challenging life can be for the Empath at Christmas. It can be overwhelming, draining and difficult. And, for that reason, I am sharing extracts from the ‘Surviving Christmas‘ post because the techniques still remain beneficial and are good to help one find balance.

Surviving Christmas

Daily Grounding

Most Empaths have a daily grounding ritual, but to stay out of the ‘Christmas stress’ we need to add something extra to it… childlike positivity.

Adopting childlike excitement into your energy can help protect you from the stress energy of others.

We have a choice where our energy and focus goes. Consciously choosing the right focal point is essential to keeping our energy in the right place.

You only have to cast your mind back to childhood to remember how explosively exciting Christmas was. So, instead of tuning into people’s stress energy, focus your awareness on a child’s exhilaration and it will help keep you uplifted and energised.

Carry Haematite or Other Protective Stones

Haematite is both grounding and mirroring, and it will help protect you when in busy, stressed places (basically everywhere over the festive period).

Keeping a piece with you at all times is a good way to shield yourself from unwanted energy. If you want to learn more about the benefits of Haematite for the Empath see this post.

Eat Lots of Bright Coloured Food

Oranges, lemons and limes, red apples, blueberries and bananas, for example, will help keep you protected and healthy over the silly season.

Christmas contributes to bad eating. Party food and alcohol carry little in the way of nutrients, and if we pick up lots of stress energy the immune system will be compromised.

By eating lots of lovely bright coloured foods it ensures you get lots of vitamins and enzymes which wards off colds and builds your resilience towards stress-related illness.

When we eat brightly coloured food, in the form of delicious fruit and veg, we reap many benefits.

Also whether we gaze upon brightly coloured fruit or consume it, it is beneficial. Colour raises our mood and vibration and that is always going to be super beneficial at this time of year.

Shake it Off

If you get overwhelmed by too much stress energy a brilliant way to get rid of it is by shaking it off.

Start by giving each leg a good shake, shake your bum and your torso, shake your arms and hands, blubber through your lips and wobble your cheeks, run your hands through your hair and give the scalp a good shake (I do not recommend shaking the head as tension is often held in the neck).

Shaking works even better if you can do it in water and/or with some uplifting funky music.

The shaking method also works great if you pick up on any anger energy.

Eat Chocolate

Eating moderate amounts of chocolate is a perfect, and delicious, way for an Empath to ground and recharge.

Many Empaths are naturally drawn to chocolate, their inner-knowing already knows of its benefits. However, not all chocolate is created equal, the darker the chocolate the better and if it is organic, perfect!

Opt for minimum 70% cocoa when choosing your chocolate fix.

Dark chocolate is super healthy as long as it in not loaded with unrefined sugar.

White refined sugar is inflammatory. It causes excess cortisol to be released into the body which then heightens uncomfortable emotions and stress for the Empath (click here to learn more). So try to avoid it.

Practice Gratitude

Christmas can cause overwhelm for an Empath and put them in a negative mindset, but by practising gratitude it can raise the spirits like nothing else.

Being grateful for what you already have in your life will bring in more things to be thankful for. Or, if you don’t feel like you have much to be grateful for, be grateful for the amazing things that are coming your way.

You will be amazed at just how uplifting this is. It also works like chocolate and floods your system with feel good hormones.

Here are some more posts that will help the Empath with Xmas stress

If you need to relax this post will help:  Incredible Relaxation Technique for the Empath

If you pick up on other people’s stress energy and emotions cast your eyes over this: Protection for the Empath

And if you spend time around overly negative people you need to read this: Reasons to Avoid Negative People

I would also like to take this opportunity to wish you all the very best this festive season and I hope and wish you all the most amazing 2018.

Wishing you all much love, happiness and festive fun.

Diane

©Diane Kathrine.