To the Empath being in harmony with people in life is essential to their health and wellbeing. Toxic friendships cause untold pain and damage and should be avoided.
If there are people in your life who cause any kind of emotional pain, which lasts long after you’ve left them, it is time to evaluate the relationship and perhaps release them for your life.
Before you can be of service to others you have to find balance within and that means taking care of your physical and mental needs. It also means you should stop exposing yourself to anything which is toxic, in the form of food, substances or people.
Most Empaths have at least one toxic person in their life who cause a wave of intense, negative emotions to rain down on them, just by being in their presence. These people, who may be a friend or family member, seem to spew acid whenever they talk.
Their acidity is felt in any of the main energy centres (chakras), especially on the front torso, in the form of an ache or pain. To some, it feels like hot lava is being poured over the solar plexus area (seat of emotions). Others may experience aches or stabbing pulsations around their chakras.
It is normal for toxic people to talk negatively of everyone and everything. They can drain your life force within a matter of minutes. Even after trying every trick in the book for self-protection, nothing seems to stop their venom seeping into the Empath’s physical and energetic body.
Typical sensations which can be felt by being with toxic people
- Anger or feelings of bitterness embodying you: This can last for the duration of being in their presence and up to 10 days after. Depending on the negative traits they carry will depend on what you feel.
- Fatigue: Struggling to keep your eyes open, especially if they are venting.
- Being out of sorts: A range of strange feelings wash over you, from being spaced out, to nausea.
- Negative talk: Finding yourself talking negatively of others, even though it is not a typical trait of yours. Overly toxic people can easily lure the unvigilant Empath into their judgemental behaviour.
- Apathy: Losing all previous zest and optimism.
If you have a toxic person in your life you may have already tried helping them by sharing what has helped you, in dealing with the rigours of life. Sadly, they did not want to listen to what you have to say about any kind of self-help, preferring to offload their negative rants on you.
You may have also tried getting them to see situations from different perspectives, hoping they may recognise that by changing their attitude it would change their whole life…to no avail.
The Empath would never want to hurt or cause unnecessary pain to others, and it is for this reason many keep in their lives those who cause much emotional pain. Yet, one must always put the emotional health of self first. If you know a food or substance made you violently ill or caused you to feel depressed, you would avoid it; the same should be applied to those who cause emotional turmoil.
We have a responsibility to keep our bodies and mental wellbeing strong and healthy, and if another is causing us damage (all stress will eventually lead to illness), it is our duty to either confront the said person or remove them from our life.
I am not talking about having the ego dented by another’s random disrespect. Everyone has people who offend, hurt or make them angry, by their lack of understanding. And they in turn will no doubt do the same to others. This issue is about those toxic friends, or family members, who repetitively bring you down and do immense energetic damage.
For the Empath, navigating friendships can be a grey area. Most people can invoke an emotional response and it is often the kindest of people who carry the most pain. Yet feeling another’s pain is nothing compared to what a toxic person makes you endure.
The point comes in all toxic friendships when you have to decide if it is causing more harm than good. Here are some questions to ask that may help you evaluate your friend/relationship and hopefully help you see if it is a healthy one:
- Am I taking anything from this friend/relationship?
- Does spending time with him/her make me happy?
- Do I dread being in his/her presence?
- When was the last time I enjoyed being in his/her company?
- Do we have any of the same interests?
- Is it a one-sided friendship with me fitting in with his/her needs?
- Does this relationship affect my emotional health?
- Do I feel ill, emotionally drained or intense negative emotions after being with him/her?
- Am I being used as an emotional dumping ground?
- Does he/she have a lot of negative thoughts or anger towards me?
- Am I learning anything from spending time with him/her?
- Is being in this relationship making me grow spiritually, emotionally or other?
- Is this relationship beneficial to either of us?
- Has he/she become dependent upon me?
- What are my real reasons for staying in this relationship?
I must point out that not all toxic relationships are destructive. There are many reasons we encounter toxic people. A common reason being the mirror effect. Certain encounters act as a mirror and show us weaknesses or issues we need to resolve within ourselves.
You may have seen a pattern of behaviour in the way family and friends behave towards you. For example: friends may act overly needy towards you or they may not be there for you when you need them. If you notice any behaviour, in others, being a trend, it is most definitely not happening by chance. Any undesirable behaviour that repeats, in any type of relationship, is something that needs to be investigated. Repetition highlights flaws or issues that they need to worked on and learnt from.
We all learn from the bad situations presented in life. Yet if the same emotional scenarios keep playing out no one is gaining, learning or growing from the situation and it is time to cut the chord.
Empaths take on and feel others emotions and energetic attributes, and it does them no good to keep in their life those who carry toxic energy. Once you have learned from an experience you don’t need to re-learn it over and over. You may learn a lot from bad people and bad experiences, but you don’t need to keep experiencing other people’s negativity to grow.
Repetitive painful emotions turn into illness. If another repeatedly leaves a dark imprint on you, simply by being in their presence, it is time to let them go. This is not about being hateful. You can be grateful to a toxic person for all they have shown you in life and send them love. But when it feels time to let them go then it is. If it makes you feel better about the situation tell yourself it doesn’t have to be forever.
If you want to learn more about restructuring your life as an Empath, and harnessing your hidden power, you may want to read this.
I have attached a link to an article I came across quite randomly whilst writing this post and offers another writer’s perspective on ways to deal with toxic people, and although it is not written with the Empath in mind, it is worth a read.
Hope this helps on your Empath Journey.
Until next time…
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©Diane Kathrine at Empaths Empowered
Also posted on Awakening People