There always comes a point in an Empath’s life where they have to re-evaluate their relationships.
Being in harmony with people is essential to an Empath’s health and wellbeing. Most people invoke emotional responses at some point and it is often the kindest of people who carry the most pain.
Yet feeling another’s pain is nothing compared to what a toxic person can make you endure.
Most Empaths have at least one person in their life who cause them a wave of negative emotions, just by being in their presence. These people, who may be a friend or family member, seem to spew acid when they talk: they complain about everything, appreciate nothing and only look out for their own interests.
Toxic people drain your energy within a matter of minutes. Even self-protection techniques may not work to prevent their dark vibes seeping in. Complete avoidance is often the only way.
Typical sensations experienced when with toxic people:
- Anger or feelings of bitterness: This can last for the duration of being in their presence and up to 10 days after. Depending on their negative traits will depend on what you feel.
- Fatigue: Struggling to keep your eyes open, especially if they are venting.
- Being out of sorts: A range of strange feelings wash over you, from being spaced out, to nausea.
- Negative talk: Finding yourself talking negatively of others, even though it is not a typical trait of yours.
- Apathy: Losing all previous zest and optimism.
If you have a toxic person in your life you may have already tried helping them by sharing what has helped you, in dealing with the rigours of life. Sadly, they did not want to listen and have no intentions of making any changes to themselves, preferring to continue to offload their negative rants on you.
The Empath never wants to hurt or cause unnecessary pain to others, and it is for this reason many keep in their lives those who cause unhappiness. Yet, one must always put the emotional health of self first.
If a food or substance made you violently ill, or caused you to feel depressed, you would likely avoid it; the same should be applied to those who cause emotional turmoil.
We have a responsibility to keep our body and mind healthy. If another continually causes stress (all stress eventually leads to illness) the only option is often to remove them from our life.
I am not talking about having the ego dented by another’s random disrespect. Everyone has people who offend, hurt or make them angry, by their lack of understanding. And we in turn will no doubt, unknowingly, do the same to others. This issue is about those toxic friends, or family members, who repetitively (and often intentionally) bring you down.
The point comes in all toxic friendships when you have to decide if it is causing more harm than good. Here are some questions to ask that may help you evaluate your friend/relationship and hopefully help you see if it is a healthy one:
- Am I taking anything from this friend/relationship?
- Does spending time with him/her make me happy?
- Do I dread being in his/her presence?
- When was the last time I enjoyed being in his/her company?
- Do we have any of the same interests?
- Is it a one-sided friendship with me fitting in with his/her needs?
- Does this relationship affect my emotional health?
- Do I feel ill, emotionally drained or intense negative emotions after being with him/her?
- Am I being used as an emotional dumping ground?
- Does he/she have a lot of negative thoughts or anger towards me?
- Am I learning anything from spending time with him/her?
- Is being in this relationship making me grow spiritually, emotionally or other?
- Is this relationship beneficial to either of us?
- Has he/she become dependent upon me?
- What are my real reasons for staying in this relationship?
I must point out that not all toxic relationships are destructive. There are many reasons we encounter toxic people. A common reason being the Mirror of the Empath Effect. Certain encounters act as a mirror and show us weaknesses or issues we need to resolve within ourselves.
Any undesirable behaviour that repeats, in any type of relationship, is something that needs to be investigated. Repetition highlights flaws or issues that need to be worked on and learnt from.
We all learn from the bad situations presented in life. Yet if the same emotional scenarios keep playing out no one is gaining, learning or growing from the situation and it is time to cut the cord.
Once you have learned from an experience you don’t need to re-learn it over and over. You may learn from bad experiences, but you don’t need to keep experiencing other people’s negativity to grow.
This is not about being spiteful or uncaring. You can be grateful to a toxic person for all they have shown you in life and send them love. But when it feels time to let them go, it is.
I have attached a link to an article I came across quite randomly whilst writing this post and offers another writer’s perspective on ways to deal with toxic people, and although it is not written with the Empath in mind, it is worth a read.
If you want to learn the secrets of being an Empath, find ways to restructure your life and harness your hidden power, you may want to read this.
Until next time…
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©Diane Kathrine at Empaths Empowered
Also posted on Awakening People