Last week, I decided to clear up my computer and get rid of old documents, photos and the like. It was whilst ploughing through my files that I came across an article, which I must have saved some time ago with the intention of reading it, at a future date (when I needed to see it). In short, the article was about a woman’s realization of how she’d been imprisoning herself with her fear of shame and failure. The business, she owned, was not and had not been making any money, and it was bleeding her dry. But because she had been so worried of being labelled as a failure, she continued fighting to save it, even though she knew it was not serving her and by holding onto it, she was getting into more debt. She was so caught up with the idea of the world seeing her as unsuccessful, that she did not listen to the quiet voice within, telling her it was ok to let it go. Instead, she was tortured by the loud irrational voice of the ego, telling her she must continue to hold onto her business at all costs, because failure was too shameful and she needed the business to justify her place in society.
When she eventually listened to the quiet voice and filed for bankruptcy, she felt a huge relief and freedom that she had long since yearned for. Finally, she saw that it was her own judgement, shame and fear of failure, that had kept her imprisoned and not the business itself.
The quiet voice inside of me has tried to draw my attention to this issue for some time: In that it’s ok to be wrong, or it’s ok to allow myself to make a mistake and it really doesn’t matter what others think of who I am, what I do or don’t do. And it’s ok to be rejected for not fitting into the box of others expectations. As long as I’m trying to be the best I can be, without harm to others, and being true to myself, the mistakes or fails I may make on my journey are my learning curves.
Over the past weeks, months and years we have all had different issues (in-built beliefs and programmes) coming up for us to deal with and this year in particular, it has been a never-ending emotional battleground. For Empaths, some issues will be collective and some will be personal/tribal (a lot of unresolved family stuff is coming up). Presently, it seems the last dregs have risen to the surface (fingers crossed on that one), the real stubborn, icky issues that have not been fully released, or the ones that were swept under the carpet and forgotten about. I feel that many of these stem from ingrained, ancestral beliefs transferred from generation to generation. And the themes of shame and social acceptance seem to be pushing through to the forefront.
If we are honest with ourselves the pressures of social/tribal acceptance are probably some of the biggest hurdles humans have to overcome (Sensitive or not). Our prisons are created from the worries we have about what others think of us, as well as the fear that we’ll be rejected if we are different or don’t fit in. How many of us have in the past or the present, tried to change our looks or personality, just to fit into the so-called ‘societal norm’? We can be so desperate to be accepted by others that we hide our own brilliant, unique and individual selves and create a fake persona so that we are liked by all. A quote that relates to this is:
It is better to be despised for being who you truly are than to be loved for being someone you are not.
Clearly, there is a very good reason for people to try to be something they’re not. We’ve seen what happens to those who don’t comply with societal norms: they get persecuted (and that includes freethinkers, those who question authority or anything else, those who are deemed a bit ‘woo-woo’ and anyone who can see the bigger picture). We only need to look into our history books to see the evidence of this. And we have seen what happens to those who think outside the box and are gallant enough to share their thoughts and findings with the world.
I have never-ending respect for those who continuously stand up for what they believe in, especially when they are standing up for fellow humans. They may get knocked down, time and time again, but they continue to get up and push forward. One person that comes to mind here is, David Icke: Off the top of my head, I don’t know anyone who has been as publicly ridiculed as him for speaking his truth. He has a message that he wants to get out to the world and he has not allowed the persecution of others to stop him. Whether you agree with what he says or not, you have to admire his determination and fearlessness. If you read his story, Icke says that it was his own public humiliation that freed him, in that he’d faced every human’s worst fear…and survived.
Allow Yourself to be Wrong
We are allowed to be wrong, but in this world it just seems so shameful to come clean about it. When we can say: ‘I’m wrong,’ it is incredibly liberating, but many of us will lie, instead of admitting to it, for fear of what others will think.
We need to give ourselves permission to be wrong and we must remind ourselves that each of us is on our own unique and individual journey and if others want to judge or criticize us, then they are trapped in their own imprisoned mindset. When one judges another it’s normally to make the judger feel better about them self. They do what they do because they don’t know any better. They are caught up in the trap and illusion of life and when they are ready; they too will wake up and see how limiting judgemental behaviour is.
Allow for Failure
A failure is simply a learning curve. The experience just shows us how not to do something in the future. Allowing yourself to fail without giving up is probably one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. I read somewhere that those who truly succeed in life are those who allow themselves to fail over and over. We make mistakes and we gain knowledge from them. We cannot gain competence by allowing another to constantly tell us what to do or when to do it. If that was how we were made to be, then we would be nothing more than robots, waiting to be programmed before we could carry out a task. We can be shown the ropes, but it is not until we do if for ourselves that we learn.
Time to Live and Let Go
For a long time, many Empaths have been hidden away from the world, in their own little caves and sanctuaries (none of whom were ever sitting idle, I might add). There are many reasons for this, but for some they just didn’t want to live a lie by having to conform to the expectations of the outside-world. But now, it certainly feels the time is coming/come for those who are ready, to prepare to make their return. I have sensed for a while that it’s time to build the foundations and create the new.
We don’t want to start the new with any of the aforementioned issues dragging us down. We have to start with a clean slate. I believe, it’s for this reason many of us have been knocked for six lately, dealing with all the crazy stuff coming in and up. It’s like we’ve been on a fast-track, emotional/issue detox. However, I’ve come to the conclusion that much of what we have been feeling and experiencing lately is due to in-built programmes, buried deep within the psyche and are not necessarily part of one’s past traumas or collective issues. We are dealing with agendas that have been hard-wired into our systems, and as I mentioned earlier in the post, passed down from generation to generation. They come with the body. And on top of all that we still have the usual Empath stuff to deal with.
Part of our work now is recognising what we are carrying (issues/fears), seeing them for what they are: imprisoning beliefs that don’t belong to us and then commit to letting them all go. Or, if that seems like a tall order, just accept them and know they are coming up to be transmuted and eradicated.
I know it all seems like a never-ending job (get over one hurdle, only for another to appear), but you only need to look around the internet to see how many others are dealing with the same baffling, emotional grievances, we are not alone. And, you are very likely seeing more and more friends and family around you who are starting to break. There are many levels and layers to these changes and the cracks are starting to show in those, who had seemed to be previously unaffected by the shift. And that’s why it’s now more important than ever for us to, let it all go.